Moatilliata Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 ...so posting here instead. Had a relationship with a girl for 10 months that she ended early 2016. Went no contact for 6 months and was starting to feel better. However, she reached out for "catch up drinks", we met up, had a nice day together and then she pulled some quite strong moves (e.g. "dont go home just yet, I was about to kiss you") which ended up with us sleeping together. Two days later I lay out all my cards and express an interest in dating her again at which point she tells me she doesn't want to get back together and, in fact, she is already seeing somebody else. There were times when we were together that she didn't treat me particularly well but that doesn't seem to bother the emotional side of my brain too much as I know I'm not perfect either and there must have been times I was less than great. As a result, I find it tough when my friends/family try to take my side by pointing out how "awful" she was, especially when I still have this overwhelming feeling that she's the most amazing woman I'll ever meet. Coming up to present day, I've been back in no contact again for about 5 months, I'm running regularly (doing half marathons now), I've taken up rock climbing, I'm in therapy etc etc. However I still feel miserable to my core for the entire time I'm awake and, to make matters worse, for the last 2 weeks I've had this incredible "craving" to contact her to let her know how wonderful I think she is! It's not that I want to contact her to get her back because I know she's never coming back, it's more this bizarre feeling that I want to tell her how special she is. My rational brain is saying this may be a bad idea and that, objectively, it's probably quite an undignified thing to do. Plus, she probably wont appreciated the "harrassment" of unwanted praise from an ex. The emotional side of my brain seems to think its a great idea however - I've been waiting patiently for the urge to pass but it just seems to be lingering. She truly is this phenomenal woman and I'm so sad things ended - or thats how I feel anyway. My friends would say shes not so phenomenal based on the things she said and did but I'm not sure that you can judge a persons whole being based on a few things they said and did at one point in their life. Phew....
LostOnes05 Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 Dude she is not phenomenal...hate to break it to you. She broke up with you... Then she fed you breadcrumbs...which you jumped on immediately Had sex with you, while she was seeing someone else... When you showed all your cards...she said she doesn't want you back Is that really someone that sounds phenomenal? No. Your friends and family are correct. And think of it this way, if your house was on fire who would you listen to...the people outside yelling for you to get out or the person in the doorway with the matches and lighter fluid? In short, you gave her an ego boost. That's all it was for her. She is a cheater and manipulator. 3
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