Author Rko28 Posted February 20, 2017 Author Posted February 20, 2017 Ok so last night we got heavy. It's all good 3
leogirl876 Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 IMO, I think it's the man's job to claim her. If a man doesn't claim me, I keep dating other people. I learned the hard way to stop dating other people unless he does the claiming. Just ask her!
Author Rko28 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Posted February 23, 2017 We are seeing each other exclusively, 6 weeks today was our 1st date. Poss too soon to come out and ask? Anyway, I'm really getting bad anxiety and over thinking about the situation at the minute. Struggling to shift these thoughts, for instance yesterday I didn't hear off her all day and still haven't, she was out at a gig last night with family (Christmas present) updating her snapchat story all night but heard nothing off her. Again, to others they would probably think this is ok, but to me, a lack of communication is meaning she's not interested. In the main I instigate conversation, we are next meeting Friday, I'm tempted to see how long it goes before she reaches out to speak. It's not right my way of thinking is it?
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 I know a month and 8 dates isn't long but I think it's time to just know I'm not wasting time and feelings here? One thing I never understood that people say about dating. If you're are spending time with another person and having a good time, how is it wasting time? Isn't that what life is about?
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 We are seeing each other exclusively, 6 weeks today was our 1st date. Poss too soon to come out and ask? Anyway, I'm really getting bad anxiety and over thinking about the situation at the minute. Struggling to shift these thoughts, for instance yesterday I didn't hear off her all day and still haven't, she was out at a gig last night with family (Christmas present) updating her snapchat story all night but heard nothing off her. Again, to others they would probably think this is ok, but to me, a lack of communication is meaning she's not interested. In the main I instigate conversation, we are next meeting Friday, I'm tempted to see how long it goes before she reaches out to speak. It's not right my way of thinking is it? How do you know if you are exclusive if you have not asked yet? You really don't know anybody that well after 6 weeks. I think you are taking it way too seriously at this stage. If I was in your shoes, I'd have half an eye looking for the other shoe to drop and probably still scoping out whatever OLD/single venues you were using before. 1
Redhead14 Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 I have been dating a girl for one month now and have been on 8 dates. It all started at Christmas, I started a new job and made friends with a lad there, he was showing me pictures of his travels and I saw a picture of a girl and said "wow she's beautiful who is she" turned out it was his sister, he showed her my picture of Christmas and then told me to add her on FB as she was interested, did that and it's been amazing since. She's such a nice girl, good morals, doesn't sleep around, no game playing, she feels like someone I've never dated before, if I'm being bit picky it's that she doesn't initiate texting but when I message her she usually replies within seconds. We kissed at the end of our 3rd date and the past couple we've started holding hands and the kisses have become longer and better. We have been planning things for the future, like dates in the summer when it's warmer and she even asked if I'd be interested in going down to a town to meet her old uni friends in May. So what's the issue? I guess it's my old anxiety issues from past relationships/dating. We haven't had the "where is this going" chat yet and I think that's why, according to her brother she doesn't mess people about and she's told her parents about me which he says is a massive deal to her and she wouldn't if she didn't see anything worthwhile happening. I've been in similar positions before and it's all come tumbling down but this feels different, it's rare for me to find a girl I want to be with like this, I literally can't stop thinking of her and even though I wouldn't, I want to be with her every single day, I'm seeing her tomorrow and today feels like Christmas Eve I'm that excited to see her. There is 1 potential hiccup on the horizon and that is that she would like to travel again someday or buy a house. I'd prefer her to get a house but if she went travelling and she would be ok with it I'd go with her. 1 other thing which I regret doing is posting a picture of our day out on Facebook and tagging her in it (was just a scene, we weren't in it) she hasn't accepted it on to her wall. I think she's private when it comes to things like this. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess my question here is, after 8 dates am I ok to ask where it is going? I'm 100% sure she isn't seeing anyone or talking to anyone else and I'm certainly not. I know a month and 8 dates isn't long but I think it's time to just know I'm not wasting time and feelings here? Within the first couple of/few dates, you should be having a conversation with each new dating partner about what each other's overall dating goals are. Are they dating casually or dating for the purpose of finding/having a relationship? It's important to be on the same page to start with. If you are considering becoming intimate with her soon, I'd open a conversation to ask her for exclusivity at least. Being able to do that before you've become intimate is something a woman would like to have before she is intimate with a guy. am I ok to ask where it is going? -- You don't ask a question -- you make a statement -- "I have been enjoying the time we've been spending together and I am not interested in dating anyone else now. I'd like it if you and I were exclusive". And, some people consider exclusivity to be bf/gf and some people consider it another step up -- a period where you are focused on each other, adding intimacy and continuing to evaluate the potential for a more committed relationship, so be clear about what that means to you.
Frozensushi Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 I think you are taking it way too seriously at this stage. If I was in your shoes, I'd have half an eye looking for the other shoe to drop and probably still scoping out whatever OLD/single venues you were using before. It's never a good idea to invest so much into someone you are just dating. Gotta keep your options open so if it doesn't work out you won't go down in flames. She sounds nice, but you are doing to much work. Let her chase you a bit. Take her off the pedestal and put yourself up there. 1
Author Rko28 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Posted February 23, 2017 It's never a good idea to invest so much into someone you are just dating. Gotta keep your options open so if it doesn't work out you won't go down in flames. She sounds nice, but you are doing to much work. Let her chase you a bit. Take her off the pedestal and put yourself up there. But we have had that chat. We see this going somewhere and want it to. Neither of us are dating or speaking to anyone else.
Redhead14 Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 But we have had that chat. We see this going somewhere and want it to. Neither of us are dating or speaking to anyone else. Then this is where you Stand. You are exclusively dating one another. That is the best you can expect/hope for at this point. Dating is a process, not an event. You are in the evaluation phase -- evaluating whether from this point on that there can be a long-term committed relationship. Things will unfold from here and one or both of you may find that as more of the "real you's" come out that something doesn't work for you and decide that it can't develop any further or that you are compatible on most of the important elements for a relationship. It sounds to me like you're wanting some "crystal balling" to happen -- it will be what it will be. She can't tell you that she will be with you forever and you can't tell her that. You just don't know.
Author Rko28 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Posted February 25, 2017 Well it's official, I am her boyfriend, we are exclusive and all is well. I went to hers last night, had a meal with family, we had a chat and decided that we both wanted to make it official. Was a great feeling. We also slept with each other for the 1st time which was another beautiful moment.
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