I feel I am losing her

[gibsonsg]

Currently I have been in a relationship for 4 years (5 years this coming March).

 

I love this girl with all my heart. We have our times that we bicker about the usual stuff. Currently her and I are not living together, she works her job (just recently got a promotion which is double or more than I am currently make.

 

I am living at home right now, paying some room and board, saving up money for a future home for her an I. I buy and sell things 2nd hand to also make spare tax free money on the side as well. I know that is not a sustainable way for a lifetime, however it works to make more money as per which currently my job doesn't pay that much and has made me able to sage a very significant sum of money (over $25000)

 

We currently see each other 3-4 days a week, I work graveyard shift which sucks ass, but currently for the time being we have made it work. Yesterday however, my car had broke down and I honestly didn't feel like borrowing a ride to go to her place and see her/sleep/take her to work the next morning. I was just having a bad day all together. We talked the next day and she seemed very cold and short and then basically told me that, things need to change and that she wants to progress in her life (her and I are currently both 26) and she expects her and I to be living together by the spring. She went on by saying that she either expects me to get another job or just stay at this one and move in with her.

 

I have been submitting resumes and I am looking towards going to school to my class 1 license. Not necessarily to be a trucker, since class 1 is able to let you drive most any truck, bus, dump truck and some HE vehicles. Rather than upgrade my license every 2 years, I figure I'd just do the 1 license and be able to drive all vehicles.

 

I myself feel I cannot move in with her at this point and time at the wage I am at right now. I have saved a lot of money for a down payment for a house, however in the end, I need a better job to sustain that big of a responsibility. If I did, I feel that my career/life would be standing still working a minimum wage job and Not making any progress financially to be sustainable. More or less I feel and I have talked to others, that we would just be living together. Me still looking for a new job, meanwhile feeling restrained and by the looks of it, never having a chance to continue to save money and possibly losing a lot of my savings.

 

I know that moving in would obviously progress our relationship and I know that is the biggest thing in a relationship. I want to marry this girl, have kids with her, but I feel right now, working for $12 an hour, I cannot do it. at $17 an hour I more than likely could. I have been looking for different jobs and this spring I am more than likely going to be getting my class 1 license to be able to find either a job with the city or employer as a driver.

 

 

I just want to ask everyone here, if my thinking is rational or if it is cloudy and ridiculous. In my mind I feel, for myself I am doing the right thing at the moment, however in turn, I think is hurting her which is the last thing I'd ever want to do. *sigh* I am just so very confused right now and I need some advice. I feel I am losing my one and only girl.

 

Thanks in advance.

[Gaeta]

I see you are in Canada. You cannot live and maintain a property at $17/h. I am sure you don't want to be raising kids on that wage as well. Get yourself into a full time trade degree. At this moment Canada is in dying needs of electricians, welders, plumbers and they all starts $22 + an hour freshly out of school and you're looking at $60/$85h with a few years experience. All those courses are no longer than 18 months. It's time you get your act together.

 

Also as a fellow Canadian I have to tell you it's shameful you work under the table, don't pay taxes but expect your garbage to be picked-up twice a week and you certainly want free health care when you're sick. So get off of that butt of yours and start participating to this society.

 

I am not done. What is this living at your parents when you have 25K at the bank?? Again, get yourself a place, wash your own clothes, do your grocery shopping, and start showing this woman you mean business.

 

You want to get out of your parent's house and move right in your own home, sorry but you will have to start at the bottom like all of the rest of us! I got married at 20, him and I had nothing and we built it together. We didn't have any cushions to fall back on, no parents to feed us. We earned it together and built it together. That is what you should be doing with your GF.