AdamJones Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 (edited) So my girlfriend told me she didnt think she wanted to be with me anymore. Basically because I didnt have enough sex with her. I have been losing attraction to her because I felt she didnt listen to my needs in the relationship. turned me off. She acted still single i some ways. So we got into a huge argument her saying she needs to get sex ha.. its sad that i let her bother me so much as to i didnt feel like having sex with her. but she had always had to have things her way or no way. I never could get thru to her. She is kind of a manipulator, but I i felt i ws making slow progress in her respecting me yet Ive just been stressed about some things and she didnt repsect me in some ways, and i didnt like that. like act like she didnt want me to tell some people i was her boyfriend.. **** that. And i have acted needy sometimes, but some things i had good reason to feel disrespected and she didnt ever want to hear it. So i lost attraction to her. I think eventually she will have more respect for me but it will take allot of being stringer on my part. but we argured and it ended badly. her telling me to **** off casue i whined like a woman. that we were done. She always had to have things on her terms and never appreciated everything i did for her.. i do think we can work it out. But ive learned allot about myself thru this and will have to move on if i need to. of course im aware that when you loose someone you automatically want them back. But i guess my question is.... Should i go ahead and send one last text apologizing for blowing up on her yesterday or go straight no contact right now.. any and all input is appreciated on this situation.. Edited February 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~T Paragraphs ~W
duncsvoice Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 I have been losing attraction to her...She is kind of a manipulator...she didnt repsect me in some ways, and i didnt like that. like act like she didnt want me to tell some people i was her boyfriend.. **** that...so i lost attraction to her. I think eventually she will have more respect for me but it will take allot of being stringer on my part... It's done. You two clearly aren't on the same page emotionally or sexually. You stop finding her attractive because she doesn't respect you? I think she's dodged a bullet, sorry to say.
preraph Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 No need to be embarrassed. It's not like you were BAD at sex. You just, unlike some men, have your feelings attached to it and lost some feelings. Now, I don't know who's right or wrong because it sounds like you both may be a little chaotic, you may be jealous and she may be kind of mean. But one thing I do know is this is not worth saving. Don't let it hurt your confidence. 2
Ronni_W Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 Should i go ahead and send one last text apologizing No; no, you should not. Her behaviour, as you have described it, is categorized as selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. These are the tactics she is currently using to get what she wants and to blame other people or make them feel guilty if they do not cater to her and she does not get exactly what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. The behaviour is not conducive to creating and mutually enjoying positive, respectful, happy, fulfilling, joyful relationships -- which is what you deserve. You have dodged a bullet. 3
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 If she thinks you whine like a woman, you'll just reinforce that view by apologizing to her, especially after she told you to f*ck off, which means "go away and don't come back". No. Do what she said one last time. 4
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 We regret more in life the things we don't do. Sort of a lost chance thing. You can apologize if doing so will make you feel better. But to what end? It's not going to make her come back. If by chance she does come back, why would you want her? This isn't a healthy relationship & I don't see a meaningful future. Perhaps there are a few more months of making each other miserable in your future if you both insist on hanging on to something that isn't working. Your better option is NC. Let the healing begin. 3
Hopefuleddie Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 It sounds like there were issues from both side of the relationship, and for it to have succeeded, both of you would have had to be a little bit more sacrificial in your approach to each other. The good thing is, you have time now to think about what you learned, and what you could have done different during the your time together. Without a willingness (on both sides) to be change your attitude in the relationship; the normal challenges that plague all relationships will be challenging for you guys to overcome. 1
Pumpingiron34 Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 You know its over when the thought of having sex with your GF repulses you. Trust me she have had to really push your buttons for it to come to that. Dont go back, the sex will be the same youll still hate her. 1
Author AdamJones Posted February 24, 2017 Author Posted February 24, 2017 (edited) I thank all of you for the responses. I have since stayed with her BUT... I have spoken up on my opinion much more lately and I believe thats what part of the problem is that I'v always let her push me around and if this ends up in her being more respectful and compromising, that would be great. But i am ready to walk away if i need to, finally tired of being treated wrong. that hard to say that i let her treat me like a doormat, and trying to figure out if its just me being a baby about things and not a man or i have a legit argument. I go out of my way for her and she does things hon her terms.. spending money on me isnt compensating for me being a doormat for her. Theres 2 sides to a story but damn. She was supposed to come to my place last night after work (3am) and doesnt even call or text, after telling me she was coming, she has an undependable car and ive let her and her daughter stay at my place for 2 weeks and i am supposed to move in with her. She is so upset with her roomates and the place she is at, it will be an explosion to back out and leave her in a bad position like that but. im doing all i can to defuse the situation at her house cause i'm not gonna keep putting up with these things. Im trying to pay attention and get thru to this girl. Either way things go. I want her to get it thru her head maybe, that, she isnt right about everything Edited February 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Ronni_W Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 I want her to get it thru her head maybe, that, she isnt right about everything You GOTTA let go of that mentality and unrealistic want/desire! Because. First, nothing will get thru her head that she personally, willingly and consciously does not want to get thru -- she will not hear you; you're only going to be knocking your own head against an unmovable obstacle. Second, that is just you trying to prove that you are right about this thing (or that thing, or some other thing). Let it be enough that you know what's what, and that you are going to follow your own feelings and gut instinct to the very best of your own ability, and that you are not going to be a doormat anymore, for anyone. ... and i am supposed to move in with her. <snip> it will be an explosion to back out and leave her in a bad position So...uh... you'd rather have many more explosions much more frequently AFTER you be the doormat that moves in with her? Seriously. You decided to stop being a doormat - which includes stop being afraid of potentially difficult conversations and stop being afraid of how she (and others) may or may not react to your wants, needs and feelings -- so, stick to your decision to stop being a doormat. Don't bail on yourself so early in the process! Right?
preraph Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 Hey, neither of you are happy with each other, so just let it go!
angel.eyes Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 You aren't compatible! Quite frankly neither if you is smelling like roses from your description of your dynamic. Please learn when to call it quits.
William Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 Folks, I noticed there is some background for this thread and I merged some past threads in the thread starter's profile for continuity and members may find them here. If referring to past posts of the thread starter regarding content relevant to the current topic, please quote and link to any content as the basis for your response so readers can easily view and verify that content. Also, moderation did some editing for language and paragraphs so some content was changed. Please avoid using vulgar or profane terms when discussing topics on our forum. Thanks and please continue!
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