guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 This has been really bothering me lately, sometimes I cannot even sleep at night. I fear that I'm getting bored of my current gf. The thing is however I don't want to get bored because I love her very very much and I would never want to leave her. When I talk to her I start getting nervous because when I look at her I fear I will be bored of her looks. My heart starts beating faster and the anxiety comes over me. I even talked to her about this, and she was very understanding and agreed to help me to keep things strong. Why am I acting so anxious lately? Maybe I fear my boredom will destroy the relationship? But I don't want to lose the relationship, I just want to stop feeling so anxious over nothing because deep down I really love her. How can I get over this. Any advice is greatly appreciated, Thank you!
preraph Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 So you are not very attracted to her? Is there any woman in your past you were madly attracted to? Or do you have trouble being attracted? 1
Fruitee Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Well you know the problem. Now you need to fix it. Plan an adventure. Take a holiday. Go to amusement park. Jump out of airplane. Do something instead of sitting at home. Have a hobby. Make some new friends. Start a project. And if nothing seems to help seek some help from therapy. In long relationships you need to do stuff to keep the flame burning. Other wise your relationship will die. 1
Author guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 In the beginning I was really attracted to her, but lately I started paying more attention to her physical flaws. 1
Author guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 she is also always telling me how much better I look than her which bothers me and makes me feel we are not equals 1
Fruitee Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 In the beginning I was really attracted to her, but lately I started paying more attention to her physical flaws. No ones perfect. Remember that. Dont be too focused on her looks. They will fade away anyway. 1
Author guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 No ones perfect. Remember that. Dont be too focused on her looks. They will fade away anyway. Thank you are right! I don't know why but I feel that even if she doesn't look good anymore I still want to be with her, I just don't know how to get rid of my anxiety 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 How long have you been together, and how old are you both? Have you two had any problems in the relationship? Unless her appearance has changed since you met, there are often underlying problems that manifest as this type of anxiety. Perhaps there is something more going on beneath the surface of your worries.
Author guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 How long have you been together, and how old are you both? Have you two had any problems in the relationship? Unless her appearance has changed since you met, there are often underlying problems that manifest as this type of anxiety. Perhaps there is something more going on beneath the surface of your worries. Several months, and we are both under 30. For the most part her appearance has remained the same. What could be causing my anxiety?
Author guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 This problem has started ever since we started video chatting. It reminded me of a long distance relationship I had. I broke up with that woman two weeks later after I got bored of her looks. Maybe I'm afraid of that.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 This problem has started ever since we started video chatting. It reminded me of a long distance relationship I had. I broke up with that woman two weeks later after I got bored of her looks. Maybe I'm afraid of that. Might you have some fears of committing in general? Or, perhaps you are dating women who you're not all that wild about to begin with but focus on their looks after you find your overall interest waning. In any event, I sense that this isn't about their looks, exactly. 1
morrowrd Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 hate to break it to you, but you don't love her....if you're bored with her. This relationship has an expiration date, and your girlfriend deserves the privilege to move on to someone who can truly appreciate being with her. No offense to you, but you need to be honest here. Don't hang on to her because she's cute, or whatever the reasons. You don't love her, so stop wasting precious time. 2
GeorgeWP93 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 You're in a relationship you shouldn't be in. Why're you with her? You're already having doubts about boredom, that's your problem not hers. If you want to sleep about sleep about, you'll soon realise that it's not all it's made out to be, empty sexual experiences can be fun but they're unfullfiling, go and experience it, you'll learn that it's not all it's made out to be. Life is about more than looks, you've met someone you can do the things you've always wanted to do with someone that you love, go and do it, if she's not right for you she won't agree to it, I hate reading these sorts of things, I've loved people who I have given the potential to have incredible experiences with, experiences they won't ever have with anybody else they haven't wanted them, they've binned me off. I'm bitter but don't be with someone who you're posting on an relationship forum about having doubts with, learn your lesson and don't drag her along. 2
Author guy45 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 Honestly I'm not that bored. I still have a decent amount of attraction for her. If I wanted to find someone else I would, but I don't think there's anyone better than her.
GeorgeWP93 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Honestly I'm not that bored. I still have a decent amount of attraction for her. If I wanted to find someone else I would, but I don't think there's anyone better than her. Then why're you posting on here, you're an idiot. I hope she finds someone who values her more than you do. She doesn't even know that you're on an online forum questioning the relationship. Just be single for gods sake, you don't understand the damage you will do to someone you're pretending you love. You'll regret it, maybe, but the only way to learn is by making mistakes.
Author guy45 Posted February 5, 2017 Author Posted February 5, 2017 Then why're you posting on here, you're an idiot. I hope she finds someone who values her more than you do. She doesn't even know that you're on an online forum questioning the relationship. Just be single for gods sake, you don't understand the damage you will do to someone you're pretending you love. You'll regret it, maybe, but the only way to learn is by making mistakes. Sounds like a credible rational response from someone calling me an idiot. If everyone listened to your advice the whole world would be single. That's the problem with most people, too pessimistic. Sorry you had bad experiences before.
GeorgeWP93 Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 (edited) Sounds like a credible rational response from someone calling me an idiot. If everyone listened to your advice the whole world would be single. That's the problem with most people, too pessimistic. Sorry you had bad experiences before. Why're you in a relationship with a women when you're on an Internet forum questioning whether you're bored with her? I find it frustrating, I'm sorry for calling you an idiot but it's crazy to me that you're bored and unhappy with a woman to the point you post on here? Let me tell you why I wouldn't be bored, one I've slept around, I've dated around so when I meet a women I love I know it's real. Two, if I was bored I would go out with my friends, book a holiday with them or her. Three i would go and do something I've always wanted to do, for example I suggested learning to ski with a girl, if she didn't want to go, I would ask friends. Fourth, if she literally didn't want to do anything but sit and watch Netflix, she isn't for me and I would move on. What do you want from life? Edited February 5, 2017 by GeorgeWP93
preraph Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 I think her comments about not looking as good as you are making you see her in that light, and I see why -- because that's a very low self-esteem thing for her to say. I don't know what to tell you. She may have shot herself in the foot. Never put yourself down. Enough people will do it for you, and if you self-deprecate, someone may believe you or pass it along as gossip not remembering where they heard it.
travelbug1996 Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 What is it that you love about her? Please be specific.
mikeylo Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 If you are dating women on the basis of their looks, then obviously you will get bored with the same face everyday. Try going beyond looks ! Duh. Try dating a person , maybe ? Not a face or body , maybe ?
Fruitee Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 ^ What he said. Yeah it seems like you are choosing your partners based on their looks and thats why you get bored because they dont match you mentally. If you two have nothing in common you will get bored. I once dated this very hot dude and he was most boring person ever. He never wanted to do anything. Didnt last long. 1
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