TimmyC Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 So yesterday I unblocked my ex to check on her since she had cancer...I wanted to make sure she was atleast ok, and I found out she's back with her first love a month after breaking up with me. As if that wasn't enough later last night I got a notification on fb messenger and to my utter demise it was a message from her. It started out with her saying she wanted the best for me and blah blah...but then I couldn't hold it I blew up I said some cruel things and then she told me her cancer is worse and she has a few months to live. I felt pretty sh**y but then things got bizarre. I tried to end the conversation on a good note and told her I was happy for her and asked if she could please not message me anymore and she started saying she would always be jelouse if I were to get in a relationship with another girl and she would kick her a**. Then she said she misses the sex we have had. I told her that she has no right to say these things because it's disrespectful to her new boyfriend and I got to the point that I told her she needs to block or I'm no longer going to respond to her messages. Well she did, and 24 hours later I'm unblocked again. I can't reblock her because of that 48 hours rule on fb. Why is she doing this?? I should of stayed NC She's always done this always manipulated me, last month she sends a text about just wanting to be single and a month later she's with someone else, while still stringing me along.
SevenCity Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Although cancer is terrible, I'm not 100% sure she isn't using her illness as a means to manipulate you. That said, it's no longer your problem. She moved on with her life and you should do the same and block her forever. 2
Sweetfish Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 So yesterday I unblocked my ex to check on her since she had cancer...I wanted to make sure she was atleast ok, and I found out she's back with her first love a month after breaking up with me. As if that wasn't enough later last night I got a notification on fb messenger and to my utter demise it was a message from her. It started out with her saying she wanted the best for me and blah blah...but then I couldn't hold it I blew up I said some cruel things and then she told me her cancer is worse and she has a few months to live. I felt pretty sh**y but then things got bizarre. I tried to end the conversation on a good note and told her I was happy for her and asked if she could please not message me anymore and she started saying she would always be jelouse if I were to get in a relationship with another girl and she would kick her a**. Then she said she misses the sex we have had. I told her that she has no right to say these things because it's disrespectful to her new boyfriend and I got to the point that I told her she needs to block or I'm no longer going to respond to her messages. Well she did, and 24 hours later I'm unblocked again. I can't reblock her because of that 48 hours rule on fb. Why is she doing this?? I should of stayed NC She's always done this always manipulated me, last month she sends a text about just wanting to be single and a month later she's with someone else, while still stringing me along. She has cancer... but the state your in is more life threatening. You are playing with fire my friend. 3
DarrenB Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 So yesterday I unblocked my ex to check on her since she had cancer...I wanted to make sure she was atleast ok, and I found out she's back with her first love a month after breaking up with me. As if that wasn't enough later last night I got a notification on fb messenger and to my utter demise it was a message from her. It started out with her saying she wanted the best for me and blah blah...but then I couldn't hold it I blew up I said some cruel things and then she told me her cancer is worse and she has a few months to live. I felt pretty sh**y but then things got bizarre. I tried to end the conversation on a good note and told her I was happy for her and asked if she could please not message me anymore and she started saying she would always be jelouse if I were to get in a relationship with another girl and she would kick her a**. Then she said she misses the sex we have had. I told her that she has no right to say these things because it's disrespectful to her new boyfriend and I got to the point that I told her she needs to block or I'm no longer going to respond to her messages. Well she did, and 24 hours later I'm unblocked again. I can't reblock her because of that 48 hours rule on fb. Why is she doing this?? I should of stayed NC She's always done this always manipulated me, last month she sends a text about just wanting to be single and a month later she's with someone else, while still stringing me along. People always ask 'Why are they doing this to me?' More importantly, you should be asking yourself 'Why am I condoning this behavior when I know it's not good for me?' You're essentially preventing yourself from making any progress. I'm not saying blame yourself, but you are in control of how you act to her shenanigans and responses. 2
preraph Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 She sounds like she's pretty easy going and you're the one who's going off and getting overheated for no reason. She's trying not to let your childish rage make her hate you. And you demanding she block you. Why don't you block her? You're acting like a child about this whole thing. She's moved on. So should you.
Sweetfish Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 She sounds like she's pretty easy going and you're the one who's going off and getting overheated for no reason. She's trying not to let your childish rage make her hate you. And you demanding she block you. Why don't you block her? You're acting like a child about this whole thing. She's moved on. So should you. Im assuming you don't know the back story... thats why the O.P . should simply update the original thread. 1
Author TimmyC Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 My apologies, here is the whole Story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/606261-left-so-many-questions
mystificatecg Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 How sure are you of your cancer diagnosis? I hate to be that guy but a good friend of mind dyed a crazy, manipulative woman who lied about it to guilt him into things 1
VeveCakes Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 You are the back up in case the well runs dry.... sorry my friend. Find someone who puts you first. 1
Marc878 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 She does this because you let her. People will treat you as you let them 1
Author TimmyC Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 (edited) She just sent me another message over fb saying she is getting married. Edit: I found a way around facebooks 48 hour block restriction. I was able to block her through messenger and deactivated my fb account for the time being until I'm able to block her again. No Contact indefinitely at this point. Edited February 5, 2017 by TimmyC
dumbass2 Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 So yesterday I unblocked my ex to check on her since she had cancer...I wanted to make sure she was atleast ok, and I found out she's back with her first love a month after breaking up with me. As if that wasn't enough later last night I got a notification on fb messenger and to my utter demise it was a message from her. It started out with her saying she wanted the best for me and blah blah...but then I couldn't hold it I blew up I said some cruel things and then she told me her cancer is worse and she has a few months to live. I felt pretty sh**y but then things got bizarre. I tried to end the conversation on a good note and told her I was happy for her and asked if she could please not message me anymore and she started saying she would always be jelouse if I were to get in a relationship with another girl and she would kick her a**. Then she said she misses the sex we have had. I told her that she has no right to say these things because it's disrespectful to her new boyfriend and I got to the point that I told her she needs to block or I'm no longer going to respond to her messages. Well she did, and 24 hours later I'm unblocked again. I can't reblock her because of that 48 hours rule on fb. Why is she doing this?? I should of stayed NC She's always done this always manipulated me, last month she sends a text about just wanting to be single and a month later she's with someone else, while still stringing me along. Sounds like SHE is the cancer. Hard not to doubt her story since she has been so manipulative according to you. This really sucks. I hope you find a way to completely block her out of your life. I hope this will be enough for you to be done with her for good because if this doesn't do it, nothing will. 2
Been Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 The real question is not why she is doing this to you. The real question is why do you allow her to do this? 1
Author TimmyC Posted February 5, 2017 Author Posted February 5, 2017 I give up... I can't do this anymore. It's been like 3 days since I've even eaten, I can't stop thinking about her or him. I'm trying to be strong but I can't anymore. I can already feel my body shutting down from lack of water I'm guessing idk, I just can't stomach anything and my heart is so broken. There's no point in life anymore.
Sweetfish Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 I give up... I can't do this anymore. It's been like 3 days since I've even eaten, I can't stop thinking about her or him. I'm trying to be strong but I can't anymore. I can already feel my body shutting down from lack of water I'm guessing idk, I just can't stomach anything and my heart is so broken. There's no point in life anymore. WTF? Your parents created you to off your self over some crazy *** chicks you keep deciding to get into relationships with. The girls you keep getting with are mentally damaged and your getting sucked up ion the whirlwind. Suggestion...spend time getting your crap together or go to vocational schooling and pick-up a new career and stop sulking. You are not the only when who is suffering. Other members were married and their husbands or wives cheated on them and left them royally and thru the ringer... this situation just shows YOU ARE NOT mentally prepare to be in any form of relationship. 1
Bromeo Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 People always ask 'Why are they doing this to me?' More importantly, you should be asking yourself 'Why am I condoning this behavior when I know it's not good for me?' You're essentially preventing yourself from making any progress. I'm not saying blame yourself, but you are in control of how you act to her shenanigans and responses. This right here. I was at this point too last weekend. Mine had played games for 3-4 months, I finally went nc before Xmas, she reached out 3 weeks ago. This time I only allowed 2 weeks of it before I cut it off. A week later I feel way better. I actually woke up yesterday feeling stronger than I have in months. Once you believe you are a worthy, good person, you will radiate it and make good decisions. I care for my ex, but the games were driving me down. My ex wife has recently started with her normal grief, and I calmly told her no more. You will get there too. It comes from being centered, establishing boundaries, and putting yourself first. Just be patient, take it in steps. And if she misses the sex, certainly that is something you can accommodate, if you can keep the other emotions in check, no? Lol My two centz. Dave 1
Chi townD Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 I give up... I can't do this anymore. It's been like 3 days since I've even eaten, I can't stop thinking about her or him. I'm trying to be strong but I can't anymore. I can already feel my body shutting down from lack of water I'm guessing idk, I just can't stomach anything and my heart is so broken. There's no point in life anymore. Okay dude, just stop. First, no girl or anybody for that matter is not worth ending your life over. If you are feeling suicidal, then you need to get to the ER right away. Nothing wrong with getting help to get you through the tough times. So, you need to chalk this up to lessons learned. There's a reason why NC works. It gives us time to heal from a relationship. So, we can get strong and when we do think about our Ex; all we feel is indifferent towards them. You are nowhere near that yet. So, get help and stay NC. Time to start healing, dude. 1
Author TimmyC Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 Hey everyone just peaking my head back in to say I'm doing much better. Things got so ugly toward the end but I'm doing much better and am finally able to eat again and be happy. Update: So it was confirmed that she was indeed married all along, I found out that she actually was married twice before me in which she lied about and for awhile she was monitoring my Facebook. After I made a post that I'm doing better and I deserve someone that won't lie to me, I got a message from her pretending to be her husband threatening me that if I post anything else about his "wife" things wouldn't be pretty. I filed a police report and they were in agreement that I hadn't broken the law, my posts didn't use her name. The investigator tried to find the husband on fb and was unable to find the profile so he concluded it was one of her aliases and she was upset that I moved on. This was the craziest, and worst relationship I have ever been in but I thank all of you for standing by me, and I feel like I owe the forum my support. Now I can finally help others that are in my situation and that makes me smile. 1
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