the_entertainer1 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 I'm a 27 year old teacher. Last week, a new teacher started - he's 23 and it's his first teaching job. We hit it off straight away and I already really like him. We're in different departments but, as is the nature of schools, we work in quite close quarters. Anyway, on the second day we met, our work held a social function at a pub. I went out of my way to talk to all the new people, but he and I really hit it off and talked for about an hour, just the two of us. When people were starting to leave, we were walking in the same direction and decided to get dinner together. We shared a pizza and he insisted on paying before walking me to my car (this was only on the second day we'd met!) In the week since then: - he smiles and me and initiates conversation - we've gone out for coffee twice (once initiated by me during a free lesson we both had, once after school the next day, at his suggestion) - he came to after-work drinks with a group of people from work on Friday and sat next to me. - When he had to leave the after work drinks on Friday early, I said to him that if he didn't have to leave, we could have gone out for dinner after. He said that he'd make sure he was free next Friday and that dinner would be good. - He asked when my free lessons were (seeing if any matched up with his). - He accepted my facebook friend request immediately - my mother (who works at my school too) says we have a really good vibe (but isn't that what all mothers say?) I have a few questions: 1) Him keeping next Friday free - was that him kinda asking me out? 2) Yes, I'm being friendly because he's new - but I kinda *like* him too - so how can I make sure he knows that, without coming on too strong (esp. because of the workplace environment)? 3) He's 23, I'm 27 - is the age gap a factor?
SoulCat Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Regardless of the small age gap, it's never a good idea to date someone from work. As the old saying goes, don't $hit where you eat. Just imagine how awkward things could become if things between you two don't work out, or fall out with each other. You'd still have to see him every day, work with him in close proximity and keep things entirely professional without letting personal feelings cloud matters. Do you think you can do that?
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 The age gap doesn't bother me. I'm 5 years older than my husband. Dating somebody from work has pitfalls. What is your plan if things don't work? How are you going to keep this out of school during the day?
Author the_entertainer1 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 Regardless of the small age gap, it's never a good idea to date someone from work. As the old saying goes, don't $hit where you eat. Just imagine how awkward things could become if things between you two don't work out, or fall out with each other. You'd still have to see him every day, work with him in close proximity and keep things entirely professional without letting personal feelings cloud matters. Do you think you can do that? I know, but I really feel like it's becoming increasingly difficult to meet nice, decent guys. My work doesn't have a policy against coworkers dating (there are a few couples in our school, in fact). If things didn't work out, I don't think it would be a huge problem. Even though we're in close proximity, we're in different faculties and year level groups, and I think we're both sensible enough to not let personal feelings impede work productivity.
Author the_entertainer1 Posted February 5, 2017 Author Posted February 5, 2017 The age gap doesn't bother me. I'm 5 years older than my husband. Dating somebody from work has pitfalls. What is your plan if things don't work? How are you going to keep this out of school during the day? I think I'm ok with the age gap - my only reservation is that he, at age 23, might not have the same 'relationship goals' as me, at age 27. Good question about keeping it out of school during the day. I'd like to be friendly with him like any other colleague, regardless of whether we're 'dating' or not. When I say friendly, I mean going out for coffee or sitting together at lunch, or something like that. That's what I do with my other work friends. However, it would probably be best to follow the lead of the deputy principal and his wife - no-one new even knows that they're married until someone else tells them! So my biggest issue, I think, is the potential for gossip, even if nothing is actually going on. Is there a way to still cultivate things with the new guy, without attracting the attention and gossip of others? Or is the only way to basically minimise our interactions (within reason) at work?
Erik30 Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 The age gap might be a factor... he's still a young guy. Maybe he doesn't want to settle down yet and just wants to have some fun
OnlyHonesty Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 I know, but I really feel like it's becoming increasingly difficult to meet nice, decent guys. My work doesn't have a policy against coworkers dating (there are a few couples in our school, in fact). If things didn't work out, I don't think it would be a huge problem. Even though we're in close proximity, we're in different faculties and year level groups, and I think we're both sensible enough to not let personal feelings impede work productivity. That's what everyone thinks because doing the smart thing, or keeping boundaries means you don't get what you want. Your comment about it being increasingly difficult to meet nice guys...how does this apply? You don't know him. The age gap isn't a problem but it will probably become one, once you really get beyond the first impressions, the excitement and the butterflies that are undoubtedly beginning to emerge.
coolheadal Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 Make sure he's who he said he is. I know you can check him out on your administration system. But that age gap is minor. Look all of us going after 10 years older or 10 years younger.. Your only talking about 4 years gap. I am glad to see you happy and excited over someone you just met. I hope it all works out for you. 1
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 When I started dating my husband he just turned 20, I'm 6 years older. So not everyone is hung up on a number. Secondly YOU JUST MET. Calm down and let nature take it's course. When you go with the flow, you increase your chances. 1
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