sina28 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 I (28) met a guy (27) on tinder about a year ago. I was not looking for anything serious as I knew that I would leave for a temporary job in Europe for half a year very soon. We went on a couple of dates and after around two months also started sleeping together. He told me that he wasn't looking for anything serious as he just got out of a relationship. I was fine with that too but after a while I think I caught feelings for him. I did not tell him about it though because I was embarrassed and I was going to leave abroad soon anyway. I also knew through a friend that he was still on tinder the whole time... When I left we didn't talk for about three months but then went back into contact exchanging emails and talking on skype from time to time. I then ended the contact because I felt confused and also just wanted to enjoy my time abroad rather than hang on to people from home. After two weeks of being back home, he texted me how I was doing. I responded friendly but kept my answers short because I felt like he was just trying to get me back for the "benefits" of our relationship. After yet another week he texted me again and tried to get me into a conversation. Since he was so nice I responded and we have been texting back and forth for a while now. I also asked my friend to check if he's still on tinder (since she lives close to him) and apparently he deleted it. The other day he asked if we will see each other again to which I have not answered yet. Basically, I don't know what to answer. I feel like I am wasting my time with this guy since he told me that he does not want a relationship while my feelings towards him got stronger. My head tells me I should cut him off but my heart desperately wants to see him again... What should I do?
PinkPampies Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Why can't you see him and talk with him but not sleep with him? Tell him where your head is at. You'll have your answer. If he doesn't want a relationship and you do, then move on. If he's not so clear, then move on. Don't accept what he's only willing to give. You're just going to set yourself up for a whole lot of hurt that could be avoided. 2
Author sina28 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 So just to make it clear, he asked me to go have lunch with him, so it's not about sex. The problem for me is that every time I am back in contact with him my feelings flare back up, making it impossible to move on and purse any type of relationship with another guy.
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Did you ever tell him that you developed feelings for him? If you have not, consider doing so. After all this time he's still reaching out. There are easier ways to get NSA sex. Perhaps he likes you too. If he does perhaps you two can really have something. If he does not have feelings for you once he knows you have feelings for him, he will be more likely to leave you alone. What you should not do is spend time with him & torture yourself by holding in your feelings. 1
ThisisIt606 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 If he said he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't. Don't waste time, energy, emotions, trying to change that. I agree you can do as other posters suggested and tell him you have feelings. If he's basically like "ok, cool" and doesn't reciprocate then move on. I wouldn't even meet him in a platonic setting as it would be too painful for you and the feelings you developed for him. No need giving someone your all if they give you nothing tangible to hold onto (in terms of a relationship/commitment) 1
Author sina28 Posted February 6, 2017 Author Posted February 6, 2017 I honestly don't know if I have the courage to tell him how I truly feel about him... I know it's stupid, but I feel like my pride is basically the only thing I have left lol! Thanks a lot for your replies though! It's great to get some perspective!
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