Sad state of affairs

[SUPERBARRY]

So,

I recently started seeing this new girl, had a second date after the first which went well.

 

The second date went pretty well.

 

So afterwards she said to me that really enjoyed my company and she felt that it was a more platonic feeling as opposed to the first date which she felt what was more romantic, what did i think? I was floored. I've never had anyone be that direct with me-i was lost for words. Then she said message me about it.

 

I would message her but I don't even know what to say or even do. The only thing i can think to message her is saying to leave at platonic as i've no idea what to say or do.

 

I do realise that this makes me sounds pretty pathetic and weak and i'm just quite generally annoyed and frustrated with myself.

 

Any advice/thoughts is appreciated.

[Knix]

Well it's not your fault, or hers. Attraction is attraction, sometimes it's amazing and sometimes it just sucks.

 

Why she would need to explain in more detail through a message is beyond me. Sounds like you were looking for romance, so keep looking and move on. Don't try to let her friend zone you.

[BaileyB]

It is what it is...

 

Perhaps, she wasn't sure she was feeling it on the first date and decided on the second date that it wasn't meant to be. At least she was honest and told you that she would rather be friends, than just to walk away and leave you wondering...

 

These things happen - lots - when you are dating. It's not likely to be the only time. That's why you don't get too invested on those first few dates - both people are trying to get to know each other to see if there is enough of a connection to take it further. This is what dating is all about...

 

So, chin up! Find another woman and try again...

[coolheadal]

She's not into you. So now you know that and it's time to pull yourself together and move on. Or you could say this to her. Well I am only interested in relationship with you and not one where we are just hanging out as friends. If you decide otherwise you just let me know? Until then Goodbye!

[WaitingForBardot]

It's not your fault, nor is it her fault. She told you what she's feeling. Could you change it, perhaps, but the odds are very, very slim.

 

Personally I would send one last message to thank her for being so candid and move on.

[BaileyB]

Agreed. The graceful thing to do is to reply and thank her for her honesty. Tell her that it was nice to meet her and wish her well.

 

It's neither your fault or hers. There is nothing wrong with you nor is it probably anything you did... It just wasn't meant to be. Just move on because maybe the next woman will be more interested.

[smackie9]

You don't have to have a date go bad to not feel attraction. A date can go perfectly well...just because you are feeling it, doesn't mean they will.

 

On the bright side, she gave you a shot, and she was honest with you. Most on here get ghosted on, blown off or strung along. They all WISH they were told straight up that he/she wasn't interested....so be thankful!

 

What to say? Gracefully tell her you are disappointed, but OK you wish her well, and you will be moving on then.

 

Tip: stop being so weak. You need to not invest so much so quickly, keep an open mind and just go with the flow...don't have such high expectations.