should I ask her out

[demonguy]

I am in a PR campaigns class( I'm a college senior). The group I was put in is 4 girls and me. I really like one girl, but hesitate to ask her out. I'll break down everything.

 

We sit next to each other in class. She usually sparks up the " How's it going? I need coffee lol" convo. I'll ask her about classes, etc. She's the one I talk the most to in the group.

 

The issue is 1) in our group sessions there isnt a lot of time for conversation. 2) there's no time to sneak in an " asking out". I'm p much handcuffed into doing it like as we're leaving class and doing it in the " hey, can I ask you something" type way 3) Have no idea how I'd word it. 4) Fear of the " no" because after all, I have to work with her until March. 5) she might not like me like that. 5) could create a weird group dynamic

 

Part of me says, " Go for it. Worst thing she can do is say no" other part says, " let's play safe, stay platonic"

 

Have no idea what to do.

Edited February 4, 2017 by demonguy

[demonguy]

or should i just keep it platonic?

[d0nnivain]

Fortune favors the bold.

 

 

Even if she says no, you can overcome the "awkward" by going forward as if nothing ever changed.

 

 

Since these people are in your group, why don't you have their #s or contact info? If you can't squeeze in the ask before class, call her. I don't see the problem with saying, "hey can I talk to you, a sec?" after class.

[demonguy]

I do have their numbers

[OatsAndHall]

Pull her aside after class and ask her out for coffee. Don't use school work as an excuse to get together: just ask her out, give her your number and see what happens. Most women like to see self-confidence in a guy and just being straight forward is always the best call.

 

The worst that can happen is she says "no".

[d0nnivain]

So call her. Open with a Q about class. Segway into asking her out. No need to wait for class.

[demonguy]

Call her? Don't just ask her at the end of a convo on the way out of class or group meeting?

[d0nnivain]

Call her? Don't just ask her at the end of a convo on the way out of class or group meeting?

 

 

Either. Whichever you are more comfortable with. My point is you have choices. You set the Q up with an incorrect premise that your only option was after class & you were worried that would be awkward

[demonguy]

Was gonna just ask her out at the end of my question of " any big plans next weekend?" If she says " yeah" I'd say " Sounds fun" if she says no I was gonna invite her to my part of town to go to bars

[demonguy]

Oh sorry about the premise issue, my fault

[OatsAndHall]

Was gonna just ask her out at the end of my question of " any big plans next weekend?" If she says " yeah" I'd say " Sounds fun" if she says no I was gonna invite her to my part of town to go to bars

 

Nah... My approach was always pretty straight forward and it worked.

 

"I think it'd be fun to hang out with you some time. Here's my number give me a call or shoot me a text if you want."

 

Sometimes they jump all over it and you make plans right there and then. Other times they wait and I here from them later. Sometimes I don't hear from them at all and life goes in.

[smackie9]

Go for it! and best of luck.

 

Confidence wins the girl.

[demonguy]

Should I just stick to " sometime" or can it be " sometime next weekend"?

[d0nnivain]

Specifics are better. Sometime is too vague. Have a plan. Would you like to do X with me on [specific date] at [specific place]

[smackie9]

Nah... My approach was always pretty straight forward and it worked.

 

"I think it'd be fun to hang out with you some time. Here's my number give me a call or shoot me a text if you want."

 

Sometimes they jump all over it and you make plans right there and then. Other times they wait and I here from them later. Sometimes I don't hear from them at all and life goes in.

Sorry but that isn't "direct" enough in my female eyes. You are leaving room for her to get out of it. Ya got to sell it..."Hey you like having fun? How about you and me go downtown tomorrow night and check out a couple of bars...one has this *sell, sell,sell* come on what do ya say....we will have a blast. Who doesn't like having fun?? I know I do? and I'm sure you do......make her laugh, tease her into it.

 

Teasing and making her laugh is the trick used to relax her, make her feel comfortable, and not pressured.

[demonguy]

Was just planning on next weekend because tomorrow is just busy plus we can't get sloshed cuz we got class Monday

[d0nnivain]

Smackie wasn't necessarily being literal when she said tomorrow. She was just showing you what concrete & specific looked like.

[OatsAndHall]

Sorry but that isn't "direct" enough in my female eyes. You are leaving room for her to get out of it. Ya got to sell it..."Hey you like having fun? How about you and me go downtown tomorrow night and check out a couple of bars...one has this *sell, sell,sell* come on what do ya say....we will have a blast. Who doesn't like having fun?? I know I do? and I'm sure you do......make her laugh, tease her into it.

 

Teasing and making her laugh is the trick used to relax her, make her feel comfortable, and not pressured.

 

Lol.. What's the point if she wants to "get out of it"?

 

I rarely ask a very specific time or place as I've found that gives them the out to "get out of it" if they're blind-sided by my asking them out. And, I found that, although many women love self-confidence, they are taken aback when they see get a dose of it, face to face. Plus, I don't ask a woman out until I have had a few interactions with them and gotten a laugh anyway. I vet them as much as they vet me. I've been tempted to ask a good-looking woman out on a date but I won't waste my time if I can't get them to chuckle at my sense of humor.

 

It's about a 33/33/33 split for me. A third of the time they jump at it when I ask, a third of the time they wait and text me later on and the rest just don't text.

[smackie9]

In the salesman's handbook.....you never ask a question that can be answered with a no, or leave room for them to say no.

 

Women make decisions emotionally, not visually like guys. You tickle them emotionally, what they saw before can be changed, and they end up seeing you in a more positive light.

 

I'm trying to breakdown the female code for you...........

[demonguy]

Said she wants to go boozing with the rest of the group. Feels like winning a silver medal. Was this positive or negative?