Dumped and work together

[Maldives]

Hahaha you're right once again.

 

I've spent more time actually ruminating about "If she and I didn't work out (she was sweet, had a great family background and was supposedly very values-driven and religious), what the hell kind of hope do I have for other relationships with other girls?", and have been questioning every relationship I come across now - when I used to believe in the Disney sort of unconditional love.

 

Will definitely look for a therapist like you did, and we're all in this together - be here checking in on your progress too.

 

It' was her decision in the end I must say I find this quiet consistent with woman. In most the relationships I've had they are not as patient or loyal as men. Again, I don't wanna stereotype but it does seem to be the case. I think what they tend to do is come to the conclusion they want a better fit or there needs aren't being met I think it's more so the needs and there emotional so they aren't logical like us. Then what I think happens is when a potential prospect comes on the horizon they get to know them and of they feel they are a better fit for whatever they're needs are it may be money attention or security or whatever they then go. Most cases they overlap with you. Again not all woman do this my sisters never been like this maybe it's the ones with low self esteem or insecurity issues. Did she have either?

Maybe I shouldn't generalised I think it's more to do with woman that are insecure or have self esteem issues.

[Maldives]

Update--

 

The ex and her new bf had been off for a cpl days I looked at the roster and saw next to his name - attrition

 

To be honest I had to look the word up i knew it meant to reduce and Loh and behold I find out he's resigned and moving to the UK.

My life at work has suddenly become a whole less complicated as the ex and him both work in the same Co as me. If uve read my other threads ud know the challenges ive endured over the last 6 mths honestly ive hsd to get help wth two psychologist just to cope wth the work situation.

 

Well things got worse before they got better. He would sit down one end of the building and she the other near me rendering me wth nowhere to go. To say the last 2 or 3 mths have been torcher is an understatement seeing them interact in front of my eyes has been less than pleasantwo and incredibly painful. I prayed to god some days it wss answered and it wouldn't be so challenging other days I'd be left reaLing aftrr work. I've used a string of psychics to cope It has helped somewhat.

Wth him out of the picture I can now breathe a little easier at work. I never saw this coming but it's a blessing.

Not because I want her back altho I have kinda lately been obsessively remembering our times together and still trying to understand this terrible yr. To be honest, I just want it behind me and gone.

I can't believe I still care about her and wonder why after the hell she's put me thru not meaning I would want her back because the feelings get mixed wth a whole bunch of emotions anger being a big one loneliness sadness disappointment a feeling of being lied to but Id lov the ego boost of telling her to **** off if she did return well i say that but hope I am strong enoughif she ever did. Crazy thoughts.

It's a small win for me. Now it's her turn to really feel the reality to hit home for everything shes done wth her kids and this mess. I knew he was going to London but I had no idea it was to live. She must of known and I guess that somewhat makes sense of her not making things official and no photos of em on fb eloping.

 

Anyway I'm relieved but feel I'm coming to the conclusion to move back home. It's funny what once was a dream has felt like such a challenge and it's not been wat i thought it would be. It's been one hell of a lonely trip up here 4 yrs it feels like solitary confinement but wth freedom of movement. I still love it up here and see a better lifestyle u have the beach and cheap property who wouldnt, but boy it sure is hard to replace old friends and ur roots. I guess that the lesson for me maybe being here is home is where the heart is.

So to recap ex together 6 yrs apart 2 (ldr) she moves wth her son leaves daughter behind loses custody of son dumps me after feeding me all this bull**** about being soulmates etc.

Wow i just hope and pray the next experience in my lifes a little less crazy..one can only hope. Im Not even sure what I've learnt from all this. I've come full circle sold the house moved a thousand miles to go back to where I started from lol well maybe not exactly the same spot I don't plan on living there haha funny when I think about it that way....

i hope u enjoyed my story thus far..let's see what the next 6 mths bring...

[Maldives]

Hey guys

 

I guess at this stage of the game it's been 9 mths since me n my ex broke up and I guess I'm just looking for ways to cope wth this situation or coping techniques.

 

I've posted here before about working wth the ex and I thought things were finally looking up for me.

 

My ex started dating a work colleague where we work and it's been hell the last couple of months. Well I finally had some positive news and turn of events where he resigned and moved overseas to work and live.

I felt so relieved because after that I thought working wth her now would be a walk in the park after watching them get close.

 

Well, she seems to have a pattern of meeting men at work and looks like she just can't be alone even for a few weeks.

 

It's hard not to not notice her as i have to sit next to her team literally mtres away. Management don't care or wanna know about it either or help.

 

Since that colleague left it's become more and more obvious this other colleague seems to be the replacement where we work.

 

But Instead of being u know professional she just doesn't care wether I see this or not. Well that's how it appears.

 

Tonight she stays back an hour after her shift and I see that he's helping her out wth some problem wth her car while I'm leaving the office going to my car in the carpark. So now I just have this dreadful feeling im gonna go thru the same **** i did a few mths back seeing her Date this other work colleague which mind u makes things very akward at work because I know him quiet well.

She's quiet selfish having left all her kids interstate for a better lifestyle to give u some perspective.

 

I just want i guess some advice on how to deal wth this because unfortunately I'm stuck where I am at the moment and don't wanna go thru that same crap I went thru mths ago.

I can't just leave the place we live in is a tourist destination and it's not so easy to find a good job or company as where Im at.

 

I'm seeing g a psychologist well ive started to help wth coping strategies but I would really love some advice about how to cope wth this or if anyone has been in this position I really appreciate the community here and am quiet active in giving others my imput but really I guess need it now myself.

 

I just can't believe the kind of woman I was wth and the way shes turned out. Who does that dates one guy after another at the same work place it's like a nightmare she is that won't go away. Trust me I just wanna put her and her **** behind me for good

[NopeNah]

I just can't believe the kind of woman I was with and the way shes turned out. Who does that dates one guy after another at the same work place it's like a nightmare she is that won't go away. Trust me I just wanna put her and her **** behind me for good

Focus on this frame of mind/image of her.

[frigginlost]

Focus on this frame of mind/image of her.

 

^^^^

 

That.

 

How well did her last relationship work out? It didn't.

 

Most likely, this one wont either.

 

Focus on her patterns. She's empty within trying to fill a hole she never will. Don't think you were the man with the shovel that could. No man is.

[Maldives]

Focus on this frame of mind/image of her.

 

Thanks dude thats actually a really good tip for reminding myself in those painful moments that I'm better off

[Maldives]

^^^^

 

That.

 

How well did her last relationship work out? It didn't.

 

Most likely, this one wont either.

 

Focus on her patterns. She's empty within trying to fill a hole she never will. Don't think you were the man with the shovel that could. No man is.

 

 

Thanks dude..I think thats very helpful wen u have those moments those reminders are a good way of reminding ureself wat she's like. No one's perfect and I certainly had my issues but never in a million yrs thought I'd be dealing wth these scenarios where I work.

I saw the red flags but I guess wanted to believe all the stuff she used to say about us soulmates etc. Anyway really good advice thanks for a really clever way of i think calming the mind in a tricky situation

[preraph]

There is no reason she shouldn't be seeing other guys. There is good reason you should not be focusing on her and should just ignore her except if you have to interact professionally at work. You have no platform to be upset about this. You dated a coworker. Now you can't handle it. She can and she's doing it again. And again. Of course, you're just assuming every guy she talks to she's dating. But it's no longer any of your business.

 

You keep going to the psychologist because this isn't a short-term fix. This is a problem you have getting past stuff. I worked side by side closely with the last guy I was in love with for 10 years and through 2 marriages (his). It sucks, but I cared more about my career and learned to deal with it. I didn't always do great (neither did he) but this was us working right up under each other, not just seeing each other in the same building. You keep seeing the counselor and focus on that and also you need to stay busy socially away from the office so your whole life isn't wrapped up in this one bad situation at work. If you go have a life, this thing won't seem so big. You're not getting her back, so you need to get used to it and get past it. Good luck.

[SevenCity]

I worked with an ex (though not as closely) and it took me a full 2 years to get past her as a result (RL was one year). I would see her all the time and it killed me.

 

What helped was her leaving the job and me finding a new girl.

 

Are you dating now? Finding a new girl will help divert your attention. I understand that you can't find another job easily but you sure can find another girl. Also think of all the crap you no longer have to worry about. It doesn't take much reflection to realize she was not perfect.

[Maldives]

There is no reason she shouldn't be seeing other guys. There is good reason you should not be focusing on her and should just ignore her except if you have to interact professionally at work. You have no platform to be upset about this. You dated a coworker. Now you can't handle it. She can and she's doing it again. And again. Of course, you're just assuming every guy she talks to she's dating. But it's no longer any of your business.

 

You keep going to the psychologist because this isn't a short-term fix. This is a problem you have getting past stuff. I worked side by side closely with the last guy I was in love with for 10 years and through 2 marriages (his). It sucks, but I cared more about my career and learned to deal with it. I didn't always do great (neither did he) but this was us working right up under each other, not just seeing each other in the same building. You keep seeing the counselor and focus on that and also you need to stay busy socially away from the office so your whole life isn't wrapped up in this one bad situation at work. If you go have a life, this thing won't seem so big. You're not getting her back, so you need to get used to it and get past it. Good luck.

 

 

Trur that thanks for ur valued input prepath yes I know ur story too. Believe me tho the 1st opportunity I get to leave i will lol.

 

It's hard to not get close to the situation having been involved wth her but that the whole point for me in this post to get tips in the meantime to cope wth it and come out of it intact.

Itd be so much better if I didn't have to see it or work together.

 

She's not the most compassionate of people wen it comes to others that's wat im dealing wth I still do feel she wants to rub it in my face I understand the dating thing just not the vengeful part ...it wss hard enough being let go and then working together I just don't get the vengeful part I didn't take away her kids she did that part herself. Hence the post it's more so how to cope but yes I need to accept she can date wherever.

[Maldives]

I worked with an ex (though not as closely) and it took me a full 2 years to get past her as a result (RL was one year). I would see her all the time and it killed me.

 

What helped was her leaving the job and me finding a new girl.

 

Are you dating now? Finding a new girl will help divert your attention. I understand that you can't find another job easily but you sure can find another girl. Also think of all the crap you no longer have to worry about. It doesn't take much reflection to realize she was not perfect.

 

Hi Sevencity

 

Thanks for ur reply

 

I haven't dated yet I joined a few dating sites like zoosk bit nothings come of em which I'm not too worried about at this stage I feel like i'm still recovering from this terrible situation and trying to heal. I'm definatly not in tg he right headspace yet for a relationship but wouldn't mind just going out meeting new people. I got some baggage too to work thru I think that kinda followed me thru some relationships like trust issues I'd like to really work on. I've done the whole rebound thing and sometimes it was good sometimes it wasn't lol im not kinds that keen to head down that path again as I never really dealt wth these trust issues. But u r right they r a good way to get over someone.

Wow 2 yrs is tough did it get easher?

 

I've found that it does get a little easier but there'll be times like last night where wounds are reopened. Unfortunately that's what I'm dealing wth she tends to hang around after her shift finishes and I tend to see her sometimes as I'm exiting to go home and u see things ud rather not. She's not as i mentioned above the most discreet of people. Haha it kinda reminds me because before she joined me up here i had fears of this exact thing happenning and she was like oh it wouldnt and if it ever did she'd act all professional she's been anything but that.

[preraph]

Trur that thanks for ur valued input prepath yes I know ur story too. Believe me tho the 1st opportunity I get to leave i will lol.

 

It's hard to not get close to the situation having been involved wth her but that the whole point for me in this post to get tips in the meantime to cope wth it and come out of it intact.

Itd be so much better if I didn't have to see it or work together.

 

She's not the most compassionate of people wen it comes to others that's wat im dealing wth I still do feel she wants to rub it in my face I understand the dating thing just not the vengeful part ...it wss hard enough being let go and then working together I just don't get the vengeful part I didn't take away her kids she did that part herself. Hence the post it's more so how to cope but yes I need to accept she can date wherever.

 

 

By far your best advice to cope with it will be from your psychologist once they understand you and the situation. Meanwhile, her rubbing it in your face, there is only once innoculation for that and that is for you to: Stop caring what she thinks or what she's doing. Take that little tidbit and integrate it into your prior image of her and say to yourself "I thought she was wonderful, but now look how she's kind of vengeful or maybe enjoying this as revenge -- so maybe I was totally wrong about her and for sure she is NOT the woman I HOPED she was." When a person OR a situation is toxic like this, you have to at least stop holding onto whatever idealized image you had of her that made it so hard to let her go. From where I sit, she's a person who doesn't run very deep and doesn't take things very seriously evidenced by her apparently having no problems dating around the office and it not affecting her. So she's not a very emotional character. You have to accept she is not who you hoped she'd be and that THAT fictional person is who you fell in love with and not this real-life one.

 

But you've got to get busy in real life out of the office and change your behavior in that way to go do fun things and have more to think about than just this situation. Trust me, it will help innoculate you from caring as much if you're having an otherwise good life. I got through my two biggest love traumas by staying busy doing the things I loved. I might have been off my feet a few time or for a few weeks, but then I got out and saw my friends and went to see bands and did all the stuff I loved and balanced the bad with the good -- and that is within your power so don't put it off. You can make yourself go do fun things to distract and redirect your focus.

Go do it. Probably being on this board this long on the subject is only making you more focused on it. Good luck.

[Maldives]

By far your best advice to cope with it will be from your psychologist once they understand you and the situation. Meanwhile, her rubbing it in your face, there is only once innoculation for that and that is for you to: Stop caring what she thinks or what she's doing. Take that little tidbit and integrate it into your prior image of her and say to yourself "I thought she was wonderful, but now look how she's kind of vengeful or maybe enjoying this as revenge -- so maybe I was totally wrong about her and for sure she is NOT the woman I HOPED she was." When a person OR a situation is toxic like this, you have to at least stop holding onto whatever idealized image you had of her that made it so hard to let her go. From where I sit, she's a person who doesn't run very deep and doesn't take things very seriously evidenced by her apparently having no problems dating around the office and it not affecting her. So she's not a very emotional character. You have to accept she is not who you hoped she'd be and that THAT fictional person is who you fell in love with and not this real-life one.

 

But you've got to get busy in real life out of the office and change your behavior in that way to go do fun things and have more to think about than just this situation. Trust me, it will help innoculate you from caring as much if you're having an otherwise good life. I got through my two biggest love traumas by staying busy doing the things I loved. I might have been off my feet a few time or for a few weeks, but then I got out and saw my friends and went to see bands and did all the stuff I loved and balanced the bad with the good -- and that is within your power so don't put it off. You can make yourself go do fun things to distract and redirect your focus.

Go do it. Probably being on this board this long on the subject is only making you more focused on it. Good luck.

 

 

Thanks prepath I really love that advice yes it's becoming a lot clearer now her nature and that's helping me let go i guess it still hurts to see it in front of ur eyes.

 

That's really gold advice I really will take that on board

 

The other part I know has been the problem is the place where I live I don't know many people I haven't had much success meeting new people I know a lot of people but they r kind a like casual acquaintances like staff at the local iga store that sort of thing. believe me i am fully aware of that about getting busy that's where I've had it tough about moving back but I recently went back and it actually made me realise im in a pretty nice part of the world just need to make it work up here somehow. Thanks prepath

 

Believe it or not but these boards have been really insightful and more help than not. It's helped me tremendously just knowing there are others out there going through the same journey I find it incredibly therapeutic and informative

Edited June 21, 2017 by Goodguy05

[Maldives]

By far your best advice to cope with it will be from your psychologist once they understand you and the situation. Meanwhile, her rubbing it in your face, there is only once innoculation for that and that is for you to: Stop caring what she thinks or what she's doing. Take that little tidbit and integrate it into your prior image of her and say to yourself "I thought she was wonderful, but now look how she's kind of vengeful or maybe enjoying this as revenge -- so maybe I was totally wrong about her and for sure she is NOT the woman I HOPED she was." When a person OR a situation is toxic like this, you have to at least stop holding onto whatever idealized image you had of her that made it so hard to let her go. From where I sit, she's a person who doesn't run very deep and doesn't take things very seriously evidenced by her apparently having no problems dating around the office and it not affecting her. So she's not a very emotional character. You have to accept she is not who you hoped she'd be and that THAT fictional person is who you fell in love with and not this real-life one.

 

But you've got to get busy in real life out of the office and change your behavior in that way to go do fun things and have more to think about than just this situation. Trust me, it will help innoculate you from caring as much if you're having an otherwise good life. I got through my two biggest love traumas by staying busy doing the things I loved. I might have been off my feet a few time or for a few weeks, but then I got out and saw my friends and went to see bands and did all the stuff I loved and balanced the bad with the good -- and that is within your power so don't put it off. You can make yourself go do fun things to distract and redirect your focus.

Go do it. Probably being on this board this long on the subject is only making you more focused on it. Good luck.

 

By far the most peroeful advice I've been given thanks prepath this has no joke empowered me reading ur words and advice. Today I felt a part of me not care anymore about her from ur advice.

 

This was pure gold it hit me hard but in a good empowering way.I never thought to look at it from the perspective u advocated about the real her that was gold ...

 

Thank you Prepath

[SevenCity]

Hi Sevencity

Hi Sevencity

 

Thanks for ur reply

 

I haven't dated yet I joined a few dating sites like zoosk bit nothings come of em which I'm not too worried about at this stage I feel like i'm still recovering from this terrible situation and trying to heal. I'm definatly not in tg he right headspace yet for a relationship but wouldn't mind just going out meeting new people. I got some baggage too to work thru I think that kinda followed me thru some relationships like trust issues I'd like to really work on. I've done the whole rebound thing and sometimes it was good sometimes it wasn't lol im not kinds that keen to head down that path again as I never really dealt wth these trust issues. But u r right they r a good way to get over someone.

Wow 2 yrs is tough did it get easher?

 

I've found that it does get a little easier but there'll be times like last night where wounds are reopened. Unfortunately that's what I'm dealing wth she tends to hang around after her shift finishes and I tend to see her sometimes as I'm exiting to go home and u see things ud rather not. She's not as i mentioned above the most discreet of people. Haha it kinda reminds me because before she joined me up here i had fears of this exact thing happenning and she was like oh it wouldnt and if it ever did she'd act all professional she's been anything but that.

 

Well my referenced situation was a long time ago but suffice it to say I wouldn't piss on her to put her out if she was on fire. Not because I hate her, but I simply no longer care.

 

Contrast that one with my recent ex of 7 years (same job lol - I no longer work there thank god). I'm doing much better at the 9 month mark (despite wanting to spend the rest of my life with her) than I was with the previous girl. The only reason is because I have not seen or heard from her as she moved back to her house 160 miles away.

 

What you are in now is the opposite of no contact. Whereas NC will quicken your recovery, constant contact will slow it down. It's difficult to get over someone when you see them 40 hours a week.

 

As far as the dating I think you are short changing yourself. I know everyone here disagrees with me but you have to get out and meet new chicks. Your ex was the last girl who gave you love and sex and will be associated with those good feelings until you replace her. If you lost your job would you pine over it for 9 months or would you get another?

 

The old me used to feel bad if I ended up hurting a girl but I no longer do. After all, that seems to be what they do to us right? I don't lie to them but I don't feel bad if I have to break it off as that's the way they are. Look at the dumpers / divorcers - it's overwhelmingly women.

 

And women are far more emotionally smart than us. They know they best way to get over a guy is to find a new one - just like your ex. You, on the other hand, have put your dating life on hold as a result of her.

 

As much as the thought of kissing / sleeping with another woman made my stomach turn, I vowed that I would not let my ex ruin that for me. You would be amazed at how your confidence grows when you have several women blowing up your phone who want to be with you. Im not saying dating isn't a pita (and expensive), but get some chicks all over you and you'll feel much better about your ex. You'll start to pity her as she goes from one guy to the next, then you just won't care at all. You also need practice and will make a lot mistakes at first.

 

So dont be a hermit dude and next time you're worried about hurting a girl think of what your ex did to you. All the "I'd never do that" and "I love yous" are bs. They only mean it at the time when they are being made to feel good and are happy. It doesn't mean forever and is usually lip service as you've learned.

 

And don't take this as bitterness - quite the opposite. I finally learned and I'm thankful for that. Now I know to take things one day at a time and don't have any expectations for the future. They might be here today and gone tomorrow. Once you realize and embrace that it all becomes so clear and much easier to deal with.

[Maldives]

Hi Sevencity

 

 

Well my referenced situation was a long time ago but suffice it to say I wouldn't piss on her to put her out if she was on fire. Not because I hate her, but I simply no longer care.

 

Contrast that one with my recent ex of 7 years (same job lol - I no longer work there thank god). I'm doing much better at the 9 month mark (despite wanting to spend the rest of my life with her) than I was with the previous girl. The only reason is because I have not seen or heard from her as she moved back to her house 160 miles away.

 

What you are in now is the opposite of no contact. Whereas NC will quicken your recovery, constant contact will slow it down. It's difficult to get over someone when you see them 40 hours a week.

 

As far as the dating I think you are short changing yourself. I know everyone here disagrees with me but you have to get out and meet new chicks. Your ex was the last girl who gave you love and sex and will be associated with those good feelings until you replace her. If you lost your job would you pine over it for 9 months or would you get another?

 

The old me used to feel bad if I ended up hurting a girl but I no longer do. After all, that seems to be what they do to us right? I don't lie to them but I don't feel bad if I have to break it off as that's the way they are. Look at the dumpers / divorcers - it's overwhelmingly women.

 

And women are far more emotionally smart than us. They know they best way to get over a guy is to find a new one - just like your ex. You, on the other hand, have put your dating life on hold as a result of her.

 

As much as the thought of kissing / sleeping with another woman made my stomach turn, I vowed that I would not let my ex ruin that for me. You would be amazed at how your confidence grows when you have several women blowing up your phone who want to be with you. Im not saying dating isn't a pita (and expensive), but get some chicks all over you and you'll feel much better about your ex. You'll start to pity her as she goes from one guy to the next, then you just won't care at all. You also need practice and will make a lot mistakes at first.

 

So dont be a hermit dude and next time you're worried about hurting a girl think of what your ex did to you. All the "I'd never do that" and "I love yous" are bs. They only mean it at the time when they are being made to feel good and are happy. It doesn't mean forever and is usually lip service as you've learned.

 

And don't take this as bitterness - quite the opposite. I finally learned and I'm thankful for that. Now I know to take things one day at a time and don't have any expectations for the future. They might be here today and gone tomorrow. Once you realize and embrace that it all becomes so clear and much easier to deal with.

 

 

Haha this made me smile and laugh...

 

U have some valid points. And ur right it does build ur self confidence.

I've done this in the past sometimes gone for girls I wasnt really into and spent half the that times trying to figure how to get out or it lol. I just don't want that I never said I wouldn't be into someone I really liked tho. I donno wat it is this time round Im not meeting or pulling them in like i use to 8 or so yrs ago. Before I met my current ex I'd dated two other girls one wss a lil immature but very hot and that didn't go anywhere but was a lot of fun and helped get me over the prior ex to this one and then the next one lasted about 2 mths but I just didon't really connect on a physical scale and then I met my current ex and hit it off all three in the space of 8 mths so I know duse I been there. This time round im I donno i guess wen I think about it i moved intestate and the people up here seem a lot harder to meet and connect even though it is a tourist destination.

 

The dating sites I been on have been crap. I've never used em before and thought to give it a try. They either respond back briefly and u try to carry the conversation and it goes nowhere because they don't reply.

I'm going overseas in a few mths and I know I'll hit it off then for sure.

Where I live is alot smaller to the citype I use to live in maybe it's got something to do wth that I don't know. I haven't really met anybody that's kinda done anything for me yet.

There was one but wen we spoke on the phn I learnt she had 5 kids and lived way way away like a cpl o thousand miles lol but I can tell she's available and she's nice enough but I kno like imagine if she lived here id only be getting involved for the wrong reasons u know just someone to talk to and get affection but if she seemed a commitment I wouldn't be open to it becauee 5 kids lol

[preraph]

It is hard when you feel you may have already "overfished the pond" in a small place, but with the aid of online dating and just doing activities and meeting and getting to know more people, someone will turn up. Remember new people will move to your area and there are people who are nearby but not right there that will be near enough to date. You'll be fine once you get past this rough patch.

[Maldives]

thanks Preraph,

 

Believe me if a hot girl turned up to my door and said can I come in for a little bit, I don't think id stand there looking at her going éerh let me think about that because I'm still getting over my ex lol'....id be straight onto her haha having a good time

[NopeNah]

I'll toss this in too,as far as dating goes; You DON'T need anyone! Sure we want a partner but, should never 'need' them. Take your time, just do your thing and it'll work out.

[Maldives]

I'll toss this in too,as far as dating goes; You DON'T need anyone! Sure we want a partner but, should never 'need' them. Take your time, just do your thing and it'll work out.

 

Hey thanks for ur reply..

 

Yes true but to clarify it's not me that stated need im cool at the moment if im not in a relationship im open to meeting people and if I did connect wth someone great.

 

Actually the more I see this situation and her actions the more it helps me let go.

I've realised I need to block her out and not care... I think thats the real key to this. Being able to move past this situation.

 

The positives of this is its certainly made me stronger. I feel I've come out of this from a difficult and akward position and remained civil wen it comes to her. I'm proud of the fact I never tried to rub it in her face even though at times I was absolutly reeling after work.

 

I remember times after seeing her and her bf interact just sitting at my work desk seething out wth pain and still being able to somehow get my work done and meet my work criteria.

 

Management have not been at all that helpful , there words it's there problem they don't wanna know about it and it's been very difficult because they won't allow me to sit over the other side of the office away from her because the roles are all team based so I'm forced to sit metres away from her. I'm sure

 

She knows that and takes advantage of it by laughing loud etc etc. It does get to me but I donno i feel like a switch has just turned off in my head an emotional switch particularly wen it comes to her.

 

It's really become evident to me her true character. She's a user and latches onto anyone to feed her void.

 

That seeing that has helped me move away form this situation somewhat psychologically.

Edited June 22, 2017 by Goodguy05

[preraph]

thanks Preraph,

 

Believe me if a hot girl turned up to my door and said can I come in for a little bit, I don't think id stand there looking at her going éerh let me think about that because I'm still getting over my ex lol'....id be straight onto her haha having a good time

 

Yes! Don't want to sit around getting rusty!