enchanted771 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and he lives with me and my son. Whenever I want to take my son anywhere, I always include him not because I have to but because I think of us as family. Hr has two daughters. I have never met them. Their mom is unstable and I had to block her off social network due to her harassing messages. She just recently allowed him to see his daughters. He took them shopping for the holidays and put to eat. We were not included but I was okay with it since he didn't see them in a while. So this weekend we planned to run an errand after my son went to his grandparents sometime in the afternoon. We haven't gone out since NYE so I was looking forward to getting out. He calls me a few min ago to let me know his daughter is having troubles in school and getting transferred but is feeling down. So instead I can spend time with my son, and he's going to pick up his kids to run the errand and go out to eat. I expressed my wanting to meet his kids and he accused me of making it about me, how he thought I would be understanding, etc. i feel like a roommate and I don't feel like a priority and don't feel this relationship is ever going to progress since it seems he wants keep our relationship and his kids separate. It seems whenever an issue arise or his kids need him, I'll get put on the back burner since it seems to me that he has no desire to ever include me and my son in him and his kids life.
SevenCity Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Think long and hard before you end the relationship as often there is no way to go back. Before you do, I would communicate with him openly spelling out all your needs and requirements. Let him know that if these needs are not met you are going to leave. Nothing against him, but you have to have your needs met. If after a discussion nothing changes, then break it off as it will not get better.
LitTunnel Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I agree with SevenCity 100%, don't break up with him unless you are certain and/or have explored all options first because if you break up and later regret it you might lose him for sure and then you'll be in a world of hell like what I went through. Please heed our advice and save yourself needless pain. Try to work it out as best as you can and if in the end you see you really, really tried and he's not changing then at that point you know you did your best and can breakup with a clear conscious. Good luck and hope things work out for you.
Redhead14 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and he lives with me and my son. Whenever I want to take my son anywhere, I always include him not because I have to but because I think of us as family. Hr has two daughters. I have never met them. Their mom is unstable and I had to block her off social network due to her harassing messages. She just recently allowed him to see his daughters. He took them shopping for the holidays and put to eat. We were not included but I was okay with it since he didn't see them in a while. So this weekend we planned to run an errand after my son went to his grandparents sometime in the afternoon. We haven't gone out since NYE so I was looking forward to getting out. He calls me a few min ago to let me know his daughter is having troubles in school and getting transferred but is feeling down. So instead I can spend time with my son, and he's going to pick up his kids to run the errand and go out to eat. I expressed my wanting to meet his kids and he accused me of making it about me, how he thought I would be understanding, etc. i feel like a roommate and I don't feel like a priority and don't feel this relationship is ever going to progress since it seems he wants keep our relationship and his kids separate. It seems whenever an issue arise or his kids need him, I'll get put on the back burner since it seems to me that he has no desire to ever include me and my son in him and his kids life. He needs to re-establish his relationship with those kids first. He has apparently not been included in their lives for some time. They themselves would likely want to spend time with just their father for a while and that is the way it should be. There will be plenty of time for you to meet them. It isn't as though he's been in their lives all this time and cutting you out. It's kinda starting anew for them. Ask your BF to schedule something between just the two of you soon. I was looking forward to getting out -- Call a friend and go out . . . And, if he is a good father, you will always be the lesser priority.
Author enchanted771 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Posted February 3, 2017 Think long and hard before you end the relationship as often there is no way to go back. Before you do, I would communicate with him openly spelling out all your needs and requirements. Let him know that if these needs are not met you are going to leave. Nothing against him, but you have to have your needs met. If after a discussion nothing changes, then break it off as it will not get better. I did communicate my needs to him and when I did he accused me of not caring what he's going through, and I did in such a way where I was just expressing my needs. When I express my needs it's always I'm making it about me. I can never make anything about me because I'm always selfish if I do! How is that fair?
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