Lauren24xo Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) Okay so, long story summed up. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. In the beginning, he lied about how many people he was talking to and he hid some information from me like sleeping with people while him and I were talking, but I got over that. My ex and I were together for 4.5 years and I still continued to message my ex just as friends though, which was still wrong. I told my boyfriend, and eventually he got over it and I learned my lesson and never contacted my ex ever again. Whenever my boyfriend expresses his dislike about someone one my social media I follow, I automatically delete them off my Facebook or whatever social media site I use, because I know it will prevent another fight down the road. I don't argue with him, I just do it because I love him and want him to be happy. But when I delete a friend request off of his Facebook when he doesn't even know the woman, apparently I'm immature and he wants to break up. To me it looks like he doesn't care about making me happy, and would rather have random people on his Facebook then care about my feelings. Also, his ex called him numerous times and he's hid it from me and she was actually the one that told me, although he claims it was just him telling her to get out of his life cause he's in a relationship. He won't admit fault to anything, and when he does he says "I can't talk to my ex but you can talk to yours?" To me that's immature because him and I already doubt with that and I learnt my lesson and never did it again, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he is in the right? It's just so bothersome because he just got his license back a few days ago, and here I am for 5 months driving an hour commute to see him whenever he wants me to. I miss work so I can drive him to appointments or miss school so I can take his dogs to the vet for him cause he has no ride, but when it's his turn to come see my family for a birthday, he can't drive out Here because work is his priory and work comes first even though he works from home and had all day to work. I'm sure insecure about this relationship especially since he has cheated on multiple partners before Him and I got into a major fight the other night and he broke up with me for the day, and when we got back together we promised to try harder to make it work since we are both so different from one another. As soon as him and I make up, he goes to hang out with a guy I asked him to not meet without me. Reason being, the guy said, and I quote "next time I see you I'll bring some hot sluts over" And my boyfriend said "okay sounds good" Apparently not reading what the guy wrote. Then my boyfriend said "my girl and I will come see you soon". So of course, he goes to see him without me, and his "friend" wrote "I had some hot hoe who will drive you home tonight" As my boyfriend is on his way to this guys house. I was so disappointed with him because it seemed like my boyfriends word to this random guy was more important than keeping his word with me. I ended up driving my boyfriend home that night because he needed me to pick up blankets since his laundry wasn't done. So he never got a ride with that "hot hoe" and apparently told the guy that he's loyal to me and doesn't hang out with other girls. Am I freaking out, do I have a reason to feel like this? Edited February 3, 2017 by Lauren24xo Forgot I had more information to put in.
central Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Yes, there is a double standard, and yes, you are in the wrong. It's wrong to delete friend requests on HIS facebook account. You should ask him to do so himself, and he should do so on his own. Of course, if he doesn't, yet expects you to delete requests or existing friends on your account, then there is a double standard and that needs to be discussed until a mutual standard is agreed upon.
Gaeta Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 What in the heck am I reading here...are you both 12? This is just a collection of incidents filled with jealousy, control and immaturity --> on both part. You, young lady, need to stop missing work for a 'boyfriend'. Who misses work to drive a 5 month boyfriend around??? And he just got his license back so you date someone that drinks and drive! You've got a lot of maturing to do, so does he, but I don't care about him, I care about you posting here. None of you are fit to be in a relationship. When you are mature enough to let go of exs, mature enough to conduct yourself with respect on social media, mature enough to not use control and manipulation THEN you can start dating. 2
lionlover1973 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Am I freaking out, do I have a reason to feel like this? Yes. I'm sure insecure about this relationship especially since he has cheated on multiple partners before. If he's cheated on multiple partners, he is the common denominator. No wonder why you are feeling insecure. 1
mikeylo Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 It's more than just double standards. He is a serial cheater and you are with him because ? 1
Author Lauren24xo Posted February 3, 2017 Author Posted February 3, 2017 He claims he's changed, and I wanted to give him benefit of the doubt without judging his past. If that makes sense
Author Lauren24xo Posted February 3, 2017 Author Posted February 3, 2017 I appreciate the feed back, so thank you. And yes, I am immature and I know I'm not the best in a relationship especially when I'm insecure in it. Thanks for the advice!
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I wouldn't even let this guy take me for meatballs at the IKEA food court let alone actually date him. 4
lionlover1973 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Immature or not, feeling insecure must feel awful. Behaviors: he lied about how many people he was talking to he hid some information from me his ex called him numerous times and he's hid it from me He won't admit fault to anything There is a recurring pattern here. Hope you're able to avoid the pitfall of losing the ability to trust over time.
smackie9 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 IMO I don't blame him for losing his mind when you went into his FB account to delete someone. Hey hun, it's not your job to do that. Why are you going in there messing around with his stuff. If there is something you are questioning you have a discussion about it with him. You have no right to do that. Secondly, if you feel insecure in your relationship, just simply end it. Just for your own piece of mind, never date anyone with a shady past or has shady behavior, and never ever give someone like that the benefit of a doubt. You are just setting yourself up for more anxiety and headache. LEARN TO MAKE BETTER CHOICES. Next time someone threatens you to breakup, breakup with them right then. That's abuse, and that says a lot about how little they actually respect and value you. 2
Author Lauren24xo Posted February 3, 2017 Author Posted February 3, 2017 The only reason I deleted someone is because he constantly is on my Facebook doing the same and constantly replying to any guy that messages me even if it's a guy friend I've known for years that he's met. Even though it's not an excuse for me to do the same. Thank you for the advice still, everyone!
Zahara Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 The only reason I deleted someone is because he constantly is on my Facebook doing the same and constantly replying to any guy that messages me even if it's a guy friend I've known for years that he's met. Even though it's not an excuse for me to do the same. Thank you for the advice still, everyone! You my dear, in your desperate need to receive validation from him, have turned yourself into a doormat. I think if you dig deep you'll agree with that because there's a lot in your post that comes off as you trying to pacify and appease him even when it's going against your instincts and boundaries. 2
smackie9 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 The only reason I deleted someone is because he constantly is on my Facebook doing the same and constantly replying to any guy that messages me even if it's a guy friend I've known for years that he's met. Even though it's not an excuse for me to do the same. Thank you for the advice still, everyone! Then you change your pw, and keep him out of it. Why are you sharing pw's?? Everyone deserves privacy.
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