jaynesnow Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Hey guys.. My guy would always hesitate to help me financially as at the moment i have no job. However, when it comes to his family he never thinks twice to help out. Last week i asked him for some cash to go to the hospital and he said he was broke.. Later on his sister asked for money to go buy clothes and he did not hesitate to send her... I feel bad.. As much as family is important i am also important. What does it mean when he behaves this way??
VeveCakes Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 He's not an ATM? He has known his family his whole life, how long have you been together? Why do you not work, or have some sort of social assistance if you can't? It is no ones responsibility to carry you financially. Do you have family that can help you? 9
Redhead14 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 You've been dating this guy for about 7 months now. Two months ago you told us he was bad in bed and after that you complained that he wouldn't go to your aunt's funeral but wanted you to go his cousin's wedding. He doesn't sound to be a good partner for you. Nevertheless, a boyfriend isn't responsible for nor should he feel pressured to support you in any way whatsoever. You aren't married and are still two individuals who are responsible for themselves. What he does with his money is none of your business unless/until you are married. 8
mightycpa Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Hey guys.. My guy would always hesitate to help me financially as at the moment i have no job. However, when it comes to his family he never thinks twice to help out. Last week i asked him for some cash to go to the hospital and he said he was broke.. Later on his sister asked for money to go buy clothes and he did not hesitate to send her... I feel bad.. As much as family is important i am also important. What does it mean when he behaves this way?? To me, it means that either you've asked for too much, or you've asked too many times, or both. 5
Larryville Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Nevertheless, a boyfriend isn't responsible for nor should he feel pressured to support you in any way whatsoever. Absolutely! The first time anyone bought up money, showed any financial irresponsibility or showed that she did not respect my money she would be out! This is exactly why, I won’t date anyone broke, has a “job” they don’t like unemployed or underemployed. So these things would never be an issue. 3
stillafool Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 It's not his responsibility to help you financially. If you don't have a job you should be on unemployment and asking your own family for help while looking for any job possible. His sister is his family and it is his business if he wants to help her as she will always be in his life. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I could never ask a BF for money -- ever. Maybe I'd say buy me a soda or something but real money, never. The fact you ask -- repeatedly -- is the problem. The fact that he said no is not the problem IMO. 4
central Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Unless you have a lengthy, serious relationship, are living together, and you have previously shown financial responsibility and motivation to be employed, then in his situation my response would be the same. If all of those things apply, and I know you are actively looking for work, then I would help to some extent. It comes down to the facts and his perception of them and your character, I guess. Now, if all the good things I mentioned apply, and he's still unwilling to help a little in appropriate situations, then he is probably not a good match for your future. 1
carhill Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 OP, is it typical in your culture for the man to help out his woman, as example his girlfriend, financially in everyday life? Are women typically provided for in this manner? I ask because all cultures are different and this site tends to focus on what happens in the United States and American culture. Yours may differ. 1
amaysngrace Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Is it a loan or a gift or a payment for sexual favors? Maybe try to work the third angle more.
preraph Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 It means he doesn't want to be your sugar daddy. Family is family. He's known them his whole life. You could be gone tomorrow. And you shouldn't be relying on him for money. You're a grown woman. Why not go to YOUR family? 1
eightytwenty Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Doesn't matter what he gives his sister or family. You need to be able to support yourself. 1
smackie9 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 TBH I don't blame him. He wants to make sure he isn't taken for granted....sometimes it only takes once, then it is expected of him to....which seems to be already happening. There are other ways to get money, like selling something, pawning, or ask family for a loan, unemployment insurance, offer to clean someone's house (which I did to make extra money).
ElizabethIII Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Hey guys.. My guy would always hesitate to help me financially as at the moment i have no job. However, when it comes to his family he never thinks twice to help out. Last week i asked him for some cash to go to the hospital and he said he was broke.. Later on his sister asked for money to go buy clothes and he did not hesitate to send her... I feel bad.. As much as family is important i am also important. What does it mean when he behaves this way?? It means that you have been in his life for 7 months and his family are his family. You dont live together, have no commitment and i have to say I would not give a bf money either. Why dont you get a job? 1
Dis Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) Hey guys.. My guy would always hesitate to help me financially as at the moment i have no job. However, when it comes to his family he never thinks twice to help out. Last week i asked him for some cash to go to the hospital and he said he was broke.. Later on his sister asked for money to go buy clothes and he did not hesitate to send her... I feel bad.. As much as family is important i am also important. What does it mean when he behaves this way?? The bold doesnt add up. If you were going to be incurring medical bills you'd need a lot more than 'some cash'....so you mustve been asking for money for something else Never ever depend on a man financially. Be you're own woman, be self-sufficent and independant...get out there and get a job! I dont date guys that dont have their financials together....and I wouldnt expect a guy to date me if I didnt either Your mooching is going to get old very quickly for him Edited February 3, 2017 by Disillusionment373 1
coolheadal Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 How long do you know him? How much money have you asked him for? Are you two and exclusive couple? Are you two engaged? See a lot of men won't give their new girlfriend money right off the bat. If your less than 90 days into the relationship and your already asking for money that's a red-flag. Usually means that all you want from him. Also you can't compete with his family. That's his family flesh 'n blood. Your are a person he would consider to be in a relationship with only. Your not married, your not engaged and the rest you can fill in the blanks. 1
basil67 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 7 month girlfriend cannot be compared to family.
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