I have finally done it

[Ellef36]

After a really fast whirl wind romance 5 years ago, I have finally cut the ties with my partner.

 

We met a very short 6 mths after my husband passed away, and the following 6 mths my partner and I moved from the uk to Spain.

 

I have been in the very lucky position of being financially secure (thanks to my late husband, although I would swap it all to have him back)

 

I was very foolish, and I suppose naive to think that after a wonderful 25 yr long marriage, that it was ok to meet someone who totally swept me off my feet.

 

My partner was everything my late husband wasn't .... a bit of a party animal ... a risk taker .... and so much fun, he made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. I really thought I was so lucky to be given another chance at the age of 47 .. meeting someone who made me feel so alive, so unexpected... and of course so rushed.

 

Had I known then what I know now, my life would have been totally different.

 

Now I'm in the same predicament that you are, finishing this verbally abusive / temperamental horrible relationship. This is the 3rd time that I have vowed to leave him, but this is by far the last and final chapter of what I can only describe as the worst 3 yrs of my life.(he has never laid a finger on me nor would he I might add)

 

All the signs where there 5 yrs ago, I saw them! I saw the way he yelled at his ex wife, I saw the way he treated her, I saw all the (what seemed at the time like "cute" differences. We come from totally different ends of the spectrum. His mind was messy, his life was messy, relationships where volatile.... I have never ever been in a volatile relationship, never have I had to walk on egg shells, scared if the slightest comment is going to "kick off" another huge row. My life for the most part, has been a good one, with a loving and supportive family. His life never had anything like this.

 

My biggest regret is I did not allow myself to be me alone after my husband died. I did not give myself the proper and healthy time to grieve, then move on, having to learn how to enjoy being alone.

 

In the past three yrs, I have left, come back like a yoyo, kidding myself that things would change. Hoping ... dreaming. Of course they didn't! How naive of me.

 

So this time it is done, my house is going on the market, I am moving to another part of Spain, close to my oldest friend, who I know will bring back the old me, who used to be bouncy, fun, and love life. I'm extremely excited about this new chapter, but am also fully aware that emotionally the worst is still to come ... my partner packing, selling up stuff ...all the nasty things we have to do.

 

I'm sharing my story too keep it in mind to allow yourself some time to heal, whether breaking up, morning a death ...the feelings are very similar, I also want to be here to share my bad days when they come, and hopefully some good days too. I am extremely lucky in having a handfu of really close friends who have been fabulous, but am also aware that at times they will probably think " not again...", if I spread my moans out, not one of them should feel like they are constantly getting an ear bashing from me

 

Let the fun begin !

[amaysngrace]

Good for you for being brave enough to go it alone and smart enough to recognize when you're being played.

 

Gold diggers aren't just women.

[Ellef36]

Good for you for being brave enough to go it alone and smart enough to recognize when you're being played.

 

Gold diggers aren't just women.

 

For my own sanity, I must move on, or next year I will be here again posting the same mundane thing .... I'm sick of loosing sleep, sick of crying all the time. I need peace and a totally new start No matter how much it hurts, time to use my head not my heart ....