katty Posted July 22, 2005 Posted July 22, 2005 He called again early this morning, I just don't get this. I have been in lots of rs's but none quite like this one. He confuses the he-- out of me. I never learn bc you would think after I cursed myself yesterday for picking up that I would see his # and not pick up but no not Kat, she loves to torture herself so I picked up. Please tell me what you think. Here is how it went Me "Hello" Him Good Morning Me Good Morning Him What are you up to? Me Just heading out of the house to work, what about you? Him Me to, where do you have to go this early me Oakboro Him Didn't you go there yesterday me Yes but I still have some stuff there to take care of, but thats ok bc I really like OB Him what are you going to do this weekend? Me I haven't decided yet, I have an opportunity to go to the Central Ballet but I am unsure if I want to go I think we made a little more small talk and then Him Well, I am about to pull up at the office, can I call you tnite, or in the morning and talk to you about getting together tomorrow night, if you dont' go out of town. I must have made some type of giggling noise not really sure what I did, I was kind of taken back by what he had just said. Him " Why are you laughing like that? It's not like we haven't went out on plenty of dates before? Me " Sorry didn't realize I laughed, just think it is kind of weird thats all Him Whats weird about it Me Well for one you broke up with me remember? and I know I didn't wake up Catholic this morning so I know we still have the same problem. He got really quiet for a minute and then started to tell me a bunch of nonsense and I interrupted him and said Look I know you are at the office and I can't get into this right now, we can talk about it later Him "so you will think about it Me I didn't say that I just know we don't need to talk about it right now Him I will call you later ok Me OK Bye Sorry to bore all of you with all this minor stuff but I don't want to leave part of it out in hopes that someone out there can tell me what the he-- is going on. This is driving me nuts. What should I do? If someone has a clue as to what is going on please let me know. I mean he wanted to break up and I even ask him if he was sure and he was so sure and said it wasn't fair to either of us and that being together any longer would just make it harder later on. So if this is how he felt why is he all of a sudden wanting us to spend time together. Help me.
SilentLucidity Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 He realizes he has messed up, but that's only an assumption here because we don't know what you broke up from to begin with. So unless you wanna post that so I can gain some more insight then I'm afraid I can't offer up much advice. Other than he feels he has messed up and regrets it and he doesn't want to dare think of you with someone else.
katty Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 SilentLucidity. To answer your question and give you more prospective, he broke up with me last Saturday. We were getting along great, so the breakup was a shock to me. I didn't call him, plead, etc. or anything, I just tried to heal. He then called me on Sunday to tell me about a rumor he had heard about me. We talked for a bit. He then called again on Wed. and then called again on Thursday morning am. He even talked about us going out. He would ask me personal question that I felt were inappropriate since we were no longer dating. He was mad at me for going out on dates. Well he called on Friday and then he called again yesterday (Saturday) and talked about coming over, etc. He ended up almost convincing me that we should get together and then changed his mind after I said it wasn't a good idea bc we might have a set back. By the time I got off the phone with him yesterday I was totally fed up. I know I keep saying I am going to stop picking up but like an idiot I always pick up. Any help you could give me would be appreciated.
SilentLucidity Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Altogether. He needs to think about what he is doing before doing it again. I think what he is doing is playing mind games. He wants to see if he can still have you, this is a normal type thing for many men and women. How old is this guy anyhow? Get fed up! You should be fed up! And stay that way until he can change his ways, and if he doesn't then oh well at least you know what he is about. Honestly don't stick yourself out there for this type of behavior and as for you dating other people I don't see a problem with that at all. It is your life, you two are broken up and thats just the way it is. If he has a problem with it then he can deal with it. What did you two break up from anyhow?
katty Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 The only reason he could give me for breaking up is bc he is Catholic and I am not. I know you are right I should be fed up. The problem is I still care a great deal for this jerk. He is 27.
SilentLucidity Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Originally posted by katty The only reason he could give me for breaking up is bc he is Catholic and I am not. I know you are right I should be fed up. The problem is I still care a great deal for this jerk. He is 27. You're kidding right? He actually said that?! Thats a cheap cop out. Sounds like this guy is still very immature. Being Catholic has nothing to do with it. Tell him to give you a real reason. You deserve it. If he can't then I say lose this guy and move onto someone that accepts you totally as you are because that is what real love is about. Real love knows no boundaries including religion. I can't believe he said that to you. My boyfriend now is Catholic and I am not and he knows it. It's a lame excuse Katty. The problem is he is getting away with it and you know what else? He is also calling you to make sure you're at home, it is a convenience thing for him. He wants you when he wants and thats it. Well I say give this jerk a dose of his own medication. I can guarantee you that if you reverse these tables on him that he will either A.) Wake up and stop his bs or B.) Move on. Make yourself unavailable to his antics. Go out, have a good time, keep busy, exercise and get yourself away from him for awhile. I know you still love him and it takes awhile but I can tell you that it will get better. Just totally not be within his reach. He'll either straighten up or get lost. In either case it's still your gain. If he straightens up then you'll have a better boyfriend, if he gets lost then you don't need him anyway. You deserve more than this.
katty Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 SilentLucidity , I know it was a lame excuse. The thing is he knows that I dated the same guy for over 6 years and he was Catholic, however in his defense I will say that he does go to mass alot more than my previous ex, and he is very close to his family and he goes to mass alot with his mother. I think she had a lot to do with our breakup even though she is a very nice lady and has always treated me nicely. The more time that goes by the more I think that he must have someone else he is interested in. I know everything you have told me is right, and I have gotten over harder things in life. I will survive, its just the first few months after a breakup are the hardest. I have had breakups and I thought it was horrible that I didn't hear from them but now I am wondering if that isn't better. I just need to have more willpower. Thank you again for all of your insightful help.
SilentLucidity Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Originally posted by katty SilentLucidity , I know it was a lame excuse. The thing is he knows that I dated the same guy for over 6 years and he was Catholic, however in his defense I will say that he does go to mass alot more than my previous ex, and he is very close to his family and he goes to mass alot with his mother. I think she had a lot to do with our breakup even though she is a very nice lady and has always treated me nicely. The more time that goes by the more I think that he must have someone else he is interested in. I know everything you have told me is right, and I have gotten over harder things in life. I will survive, its just the first few months after a breakup are the hardest. I have had breakups and I thought it was horrible that I didn't hear from them but now I am wondering if that isn't better. I just need to have more willpower. Thank you again for all of your insightful help. Yes breakups are hard and again it really has nothing to do with religion, much like you, I was starting to think the same thing. It must be someone else. If he really loved you even his mother wouldn't be able to come in between the two of you. He would have to tell her that it's his life and his decisions. My boyfriends mother is really bad, but he tells her just what I told you. That it's none of her business and he makes his own choices. Goodluck to you Katty and if you ever need anything just pm me.
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