Hypothetical Scenario

[Envynot]

Hypothetical scenario:

You're dating this girl that you really like (4 months in). She tells you she’s going on a cabin trip with her friends for a few nights; alcohol and other substances are a given for said trip. You find out that a guy -lets call him ****boy, because he’s the definition of the word- is going on this trip. Girlfriend has told you before that her and ****boy have had sexual relations in the past. Two days before the trip, girlfriend sends you a screenshot of a text convo between her and ****boy:

****boy: "I don't think I'm going to make it to the cabin trip, they want me to work two days over the weekend"

Girlfriend: "Aw that's lame, I'll let everyone know"

****boy: "Thanks, I'm really pissed :/"

We'll skip a bit here because too much useless info (trip happens, 13 people go, girlfriend calls to say goodnight every night). A month later you're talking to girlfriend and she tells you:

Girlfriend: "****boy randomly texted me last night,"

you ask what he said.

****boy: "How are you?"

Girlfriend: "I'm good and you?"

****boy: "I just turned *insert age here* so I feel pretty old, jk, I've been feeling pretty good, felt like I haven't talked to you since the cabin"

Girlfriend: “Yeah I know but you're not too old lol".

That's the only screenshot she sends.

You: "So he did go to the cabin?"

Girlfriend: "Oh my god, he did, I didn't tell you cause I didn't want you to worry"

You: "So you lied to me?"

Girlfriend: "I'm sorry I didn't want you to worry, nothing happened though I swear, I'm sorry, don't be mad please".

You have yet to respond.

What goes through your head, and how do you handle this scenario?

Your feedback is greatly appreciated

[preraph]

To me, they just sound like friends. As he said, they haven't talked since the cabin. Still, I get why you'd be alarmed. I kind of think, though, that someone is trying to really hide an affair, they don't even tell you about ****boy to begin with much less share his texts with you. So I think they're just friends.

[MrDuck]

why does your gf send you screenshots of meaningless conversations??

 

I wouldnt be that concerned about the guy.

 

I would be **ssed she lied to me.

 

You need to assess whether she lied because shes dishonest, or whether she lied because she didnt feel like you would deal with it well..

[VeveCakes]

sooooooooooo why do I get the feeling this isn't hypothetical?

 

Yes, she hid it from you. Not cool.

[SevenCity]

She's dishonest. Whatever the reason she's proven she can lie to you. Poorly at that.

 

Tread carefully young man. When people tell you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.

 

Just because she's a bad liar doesn't mean she wasn't cheating or won't lie to you again. She most likely will.

[JamesM]

I have learned a few things here on LS and one is that nothing is really hypothetical.

 

Anyhow, IMO she made the mistake of not telling you that he went along. At my age, that is all it is. Forgetfulness. So no it wouldn't bother me especially since she is sharing the conversations with you.

 

However, there are two sides to sharing:

 

One, she shares to be open and honest with no secrets.

 

Or

 

Two, she shares to appear that she is open and honest so that she can carry on with him in secret.

 

I think it is the first at this point unless you see more red flags.

 

Has she made any recent changes in dress or appearance? Has her schedule changed so that she has more alone time or work time that is unaccounted for? Does she randomly let you look at her phone or does she keep control over it?