mightycpa Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 I'm been seeing a girl for about a month now, we usually go out once-twice per week. We've slept together very recently, so I know she's at least attracted to me, but one thing that's driving me crazy is her lack of affection. I feel like I make all the moves, initiate all the calls/texts (I've backed way off to the point I hardly do anymore besides to set a date), and the biggest issue is she doesn't reciprocate interest in me...if I tell her I had a great time with her, she doesn't say anything. If I tell her I'm really into her, she doesn't say anything...she never tries to hold my hand or show me she cares. basically she doesn't flirt/act like she's all that interested, but she still wants to get together to go on dates. I brought it up with her early on because I didn't think she was into me at all, and she told me she's just bad at talking about her feelings, but I felt like it was an excuse. Her best friends husband pulled me aside at the bar last night and told me she can be a "pain in the butt when it comes to men" and told me with this girl I need to go "super slow" and she usually rejects guys for small things (she broke up with the last guy because he had small hands he said lol). I'm not sure what to think about the conversation I had with this guy-it seemed like he was warning me about dating her...he didn't seem too positive about it. How do I proceed? I do enjoy being around her, but it's going on a month, and I see little progress in thingsEasy. Reject that advice. Be yourself. Let her be herself. See if it works out, if you like it. If it isn't all that, don't be afraid to call it off. Why would she be any different than anybody else in this respect?
preraph Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Thanks for the response, I don't doubt there are people that are like that, but this girl takes it to the extreme...if I text her she takes all day to respond and gives me one word answers, and when I ask her out she gets all wishy-washy usually..thing is, she always asks me out the day of and says she wants to get together then the cycle repeats. Even when she's around me, she doesn't seem "into me" at times. Zero affection and if I say something sweet, she won't acknowledge it. I'm just not sure what her motive is or if this is going anywhere...just don't want to be strung along if I'm some kind of back up guy. We've had a bunch of fun on these dates, but I feel like she's holding back on me for some reason. I want to bring it up again if things don't change soon, but I'm afraid it will backfire on me. How old are you guys? I know I've seen at least one other post on here and just remember from my school days that there are definitely some young girls who aren't mature enough to really be into sex and dating but like to "play house" and put up the front of having a boyfriend. It's a possibility if she's like school age and immature. She could be having sex just to tell her girlfriends she's doing what they're doing. But not if she's older, like over 20. I don't know what it is about some guys, but I knew some who were always after these statues who were cold as ice. I guess it's the challenge and the mystery, but the ones a couple of guys I knew were after were bad news. But these were big boys with lots of experience, so they may have just found her challenging and thought they would thaw her out. But she was messed up, probably a little sociopathic even.
stillafool Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 It sounds to me like you need someone who is open emotionally and this is a fundamental quality that you need in your partner. If you continue to pursue this girl, it will grate at you over time, so you are best cutting ties with her now before the relationship becomes too frustrating. It's interesting that she slept with you though. Her actions seem very masculine...very unusual. I sense some deep rooted issues there. Best avoid her and invest your time in someone more deserving. So if a woman isn't falling all over a man being needy for attention she is masculine?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 It's interesting that she slept with you though. Her actions seem very masculine...very unusual. I sense some deep rooted issues there. Best avoid her and invest your time in someone more deserving. GoldSparkz. Wow, this is a very interesting and fathomable observation. Not saying it's so with this lady, but my ex also described her personality as more masculine and had a terrible time making female friends. She had a terrible time making any friends, frankly. And she also had some serious issues/history/up-bringing that had layed the foundation of coldness (at first) and non-affection. It may sound funny to some, but I believ this is also a plausible observation.
Author Mjm1014 Posted February 13, 2017 Author Posted February 13, 2017 This is part 2 to the question I posted earlier. So I've been seeing this girl for about a month now, we've slept together (first time last night actually), and have a great time on our dates, but she's seemed cold/distant lately and doesn't even act that interested...she shows me little affection on dates and doesn't respond to half my texts. Anyways it's been bugging the **** out of me lately, so I texted her and asked her if she's even interested at this point, and said if she's not, I'll walk away. It's going on a month and things just aren't progressing. She texted me, "just taking things slow, your feelings are stronger than mine, I'm still trying to figure things out".. I didn't respond and feel like that's enough to just walk-especially after a month and tons of dates. Should I even respond? Should I keep giving things a chance or just walk away and not look back? We've gone on so many dates and she just acts cold anymore and I almost feel slightly used
Dis Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 Nut uh I would walk away No need to waste time on someone who feels meh about you Go find a girl whos crazy about you 1
Nowty V Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 just as a random speculation... She has an avoidant attachment style... when you're not in front of her you don't exist.. The guy she's with does. Move on or perpetuate a scenario that will be like having your balls rubbed with barbed wire time and time again. 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 I also think you should just walk away. Her attitude sucks, and I doubt it will improve.
ChatroomHero Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 I wouldn't find dating fun at all if the girl was acting like I was nobody to her. It's one thing if things don't progress but you look forward to dates and seeing her, it's another thing if you out in effort to be continually rejected at least on some level. It sounds like you are providing something for her to do when she is bored. I'd probably bail when I got to the point you are at.
SevenCity Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 Don't discount the fact she can be using you to take her out and have a good time. Or she's just not affectionate. Bottom line is she is not what you want. I've run into women like this. The last girl I dated would run out of my house at 9 am on Sunday. Most women would want to spend the day. She was very passionate durning sex but not so afterwards. I almost got yelled at for trying to cuddle whilst we slept. One night she kicked my leg and said "can I have some room please???" while I was sleeping. I was confused as to why she kept coming back. But fact of the matter is we were not a good match. I would cut your losses now. Oh, and she seemed to demonstrait masculine tendencies as well.
PogoStick Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 i don't think you should walk away. You should just stop making her a priority. Stop coming on so hard to her and telling her nice things. Let her come to you and ask for dates. Then make sure you have sex every time you meet up. In other words, turn her into a booty call. No reason to give up on sex with this girl. When the sex stops, then you can stop seeing her. Meanwhile, put your time in effort into chasing another girl. When you have options, you won't be so needy. When a girl proves to be worthy of commitment, then you can focus in on one girl. 1
basil67 Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 It sounds like she's more enthusiastic about skiing than about you. I also echo the sentiments of those who say "don't teach a friend to ski". And yes, it's a hugely expensive day. If you decide to go, simply tell her how much her half of the cost will be when you're planning it. "Ok, we'll be leaving at 7:00am. Pack X and Y. Lift ticket and gear hire will be approx $X dollars. Are you OK with all of that? 1
stillafool Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 It seems these are the type of women that men fall head over heels for.
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