FastHands Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Why do some girls expect their potential bfs to have many friends? Why do much value in friends? Some girls are very impressed that I had friends in every corner. I know the question is kind of odd, but is it an evolutionary reason? They kind of expect that I have a day with my friends and keep her at bay. Of course this makes more attraction, because she can't always have you.
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 I am wary of people who have no friends. It makes me wonder if they can share parts of themselves with others. My husband has very few local friends. Before I knew about the long distance guys I was worded about his emotional health; I feared he was too closed off to have a relationship. Younger women also want their BF to have lots of buddies so her female friends can date the buddies. 1
Lilyana76 Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Having friends shows someone you can form emotional bonds to people. It also shows that you won't be spending 100% of your time with me, I think some time apart with friends is needed in a relationship. 2
Gaeta Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Always makes me wonder the age of the OP when they refer to women as 'girls'. Are you an adult or a teen? As a 51 yo woman I have very few friends but they are good friends. I have a truck load of acquaintances but I would not call them friends. Nowadays we use the word 'friend' to every sauce. Having 500 contacts on your FB does not mean you have 500 friends. I see nothing wrong in an adult having 1 or 2 friends only. It would indicates he prefers few relationships but relationships with depth compare to having 500 friends that are in reality friends but only acquaintances.
OatsAndHall Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I don't worry about a girlfriend that doesn't have a lot of friends as I am kind of introverted and have a few close friends that I keep in contact with. She has a narrow comfort zone which I am okay with as it is just a part of who she is. She doesn't need a lot of social interaction and big social functions make her uncomfortable. She has gone out of her way to make more friends and the relationships she has developed are solid. However, my hackles raise when I meet a woman who has a revolving door of friends. Generally speaking, it tells me that they are in desperate need of continual social interaction but are saying/doing things that are driving people away. This means that I am either blind to what they are saying/doing when we're together or they are acting very differently when we're not together. My ex-wife was like this. You would assume that she was an absolute social butterfly with exceptional people skills when you looked at her social media accounts. But, she only had three close friends and none of them lived close to us. And, she didn't spend much time with them when they were around..She would befriend someone, hang out for a few weeks and then that friend would disappear. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. I finally realized that she was a very different person when interacting with these people. She hung out with the wife of a close friend of mine twice but then all communication ceased between them. I found out later on that my ex-wife was a very different, very childish person when it came to my friend's wife. She was sending my friend's wife some very immature and inappropriate memes via social media and text. Some of the things she said while they were hanging out floored me. I have the utmost respect for my friend and his wife and was not happy with my ex-wife's actions nor words. I didn't find out about all of this until we split but I always wondered why communication ceased between them.
preraph Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 If you can't keep friends, what are the chances you could keep a girlfriend? Being social, even if it's in a counterculture, is healthy. Someone who is social and surrounded by friends looks friendly and interesting. Someone who doesn't have a circle of friends may look unfriendly and anxious and be without social skills. So having friends is a desirable thing.
OatsAndHall Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I wouldn't be too hard on a significant other that doesn't have a plethora of friends. It's the quality of the friendships that count. I go to a few social functions each year where I am perfectly sociable and pleasant but the rest of my social interaction is spent with a select group of friends who I enjoy and am comfortable around. It's just how I am wired. I would rather spend time alone, enjoying my hobbies than hang around with people that I have superficial relationships with. Generally speaking, my closest friends are those that I share hobbies with: coaching, lifting, fishing, etc.. 2
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