witmadskilllz Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 (edited) Hello folks. So I had met a girl who's a friend of a friend. We started off pretty well as friends until we got physical and started to wrestle. It got to the point where we cuddled for a bit. I took that as a hint where I should try to ask her out soon. However, to my surprise, she wasn't ready or it was too fast. The reason I had asked her during the span of 2-3 weeks? Was because she was also being chased/talking to 3-4 other dudes. So I've put in effort, went to her house and left food for her to eat and such. I invited her over to watch movies but she declined. I wish I could've done more when we cuddled but I didn't want a one night stand, I wanted a girlfriend and to be on the same page about it. Fast forward to the current situation now, she seems pretty okay about being friends but it's just so much weirder now to even talk to her. What should I do? Do I continue to just be friends? I don't have anymore feelings for her as I came to realized she wasn't exactly the type I want anymore. I don't want to put constant effort if she said it was too soon and prefers to build attraction over long period of time. I was afraid that by putting in constant effort, one day, someone else may take her so where would that leave me then right? There's a group we hang out with usually and I don't want the group to disperse because of me. Should I continue to just message her from time to time? I don't want to make it seem like I still like her in that way but just by messaging her, would it seem like that? Edited February 2, 2017 by witmadskilllz
basil67 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 You've come to the conclusion that she's not the right girl for you. This is good. So just treat her as you would any one of your mates. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 You made a friend. She didn't want to go on a date with you & you have since concluded she's not your type. I'm not sure what the problem is. You said she's a friend of a friend. So be cool when you all hang out. What else is there? 1
Lord Humungus Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Next she gets no more and no less respect, special treatment, attention or favours than any one of your man friends. If you can deal with that, then your assertion is correct, if you can't then you are lying to yourself about your feelings. 1
coolheadal Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Nope! Just go and find someone who wants you 100% an not like this one who just not really into you and now your not really into here! 1
EveryWomanJ2911 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 It sounds like you're ambivalent about your relationship with her as you like her, but since she's not on the same page that you're hoping that in the future something might work out. However, since that's not a sure thing...you don't want to waste your time either. Based on what you've said, it seems that you know this isn't a great match, but you like her and are still hoping for a different outcome somehow. Thing is are you really okay on missing out with a good fit with someone who is on the same page with you while you wait on this girl to possibly change her mind? If you truly want to hang out in the group and keep things platonic, just leave her alone. Texting isn't necessary, leave that to the girls in the group or someone else. And when you all are together, just focus on the group and let her be. Keep things relaxed and polite, and try to leave this in the past. Not all attractions lead to a relationship, and that's okay. When a solid match does show up, you'll know it and you'll be glad you didn't play games with this girl instead of moving forward with someone who wants what you want too. Having another person who wants the same relationship goals and who has the same values as you make a major difference in your happiness in a romantic relationship. Don't be afraid to have solid standards for yourself. Many people get hurt needlessly who don't have any standards for themselves in this area of their lives. The info below might be helpful to you. ~Peace and Blessings Friend Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott Is it True That Opposites Attract? - Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott 1
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