Stage5Clinger Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 I work with both my girlfriend and her friend who I think I love. I used to flirt with her before I got together with my current girlfriend -- but I thought she was not interested. Since then, my current girlfriend asked me out and I liked her a lot too so I said yes. Now that we have been dating for a full year, our differences are starting to show and I'm starting to think I missed my chance with her friend. Her friend also has since started dating someone but I don't think she's happy with him. Now I'm in this situation where I'm dating my girlfriend, my girlfriend is this girl's boss, and she is dating some other guy. At least I get to talk to her a little more these days because we all hang out sometimes. I think it's just going to grow more intense I'm starting to really daydream about her and I just kind of hope she feels that way about me too but she doesn't seem open to expressing it. She has a lot to lose but is it worth it if we are really compatible? Wondering how some older folks would proceed in this situation. Am I just being silly because I have a crush? Should I wait for her to ever make a move before considering this seriously? For now I am sort of in maintenance mode in my relationship. We get along really well and have a good time together but it's not going to work out long term and we both know that. We both have ideas on where we see ourselves in a few years and I'm starting to get older and need to get serious on my relationships. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Please be nice.
kendahke Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Just don't. You don't love her--you just want what you can't have. You made a choice and you chose the wrong one. Leave the friend alone. It's way too messy right now, even if you break up with your girlfriend, it's only a matter of time before you're outted. Find someone unknown to either of them to date. Never poop where you eat. 1
coolheadal Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 You could loose your job or even worst your girlfriend. You have to figure out what you really doing at your job. You can't have it all if you do something will be lost in that process. Think before you act? Choose wisely!
OnlyHonesty Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 You are confusing lust with love, and suffering from the grass is greener syndrome. It's all psychological and you will find anything short lived if you did make a move on it. This makes me wonder whether you have unchanneled mental and physical energy / emotions. Do you do exercise or have many hobbies?
Mrin Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Won't happen. Would require friend to violate rule #1 of girl/woman code: thou shalt not date or sleep with a guy your friend used to date.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Break up with your girlfriend. But don't even entertain the idea of dating her friend. That would be a really crappy thing for you to do.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 She isn't giving you any signs that she is interested but you hoping that she will dump her boyfriend and make an enemy of her friend/boss for you? Can you see how unrealistic that sounds? I don't think it helps that you are in a relationship with someone you don't see a future with. Perhaps that is why you are so infatuated with her friend. She may represent a fantasy of something you wished that you had. Before this crush gets too out of control you really need to make a decision about what to do about your current relationship. 1
Author Stage5Clinger Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 Jeez, nobody has hope for this eh? I know it is kind of hopeless. It's just hard when your feelings say one thing and logic says another. Obviously, she hasn't moved on me or anything but if she did I would be crazy about it. Whatever. Sucks.
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