1111volcano Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 (edited) started seeing g this man who was interested in me, wanted to meet me told his daughter to tell my daughter he wanted and introduce us( both our daughters are cheerleaders for the same school, basketball). So we met and he was all I've been waiting for a bigger guy,he's a police officer,good dad,divorced for 7 years and was looking for love. I thought it was wonderful that he was interested in me. We hung out a few times went to dinner as well and have had sex like 6 times, mine and his house when the kids were at school and on his days off work. Anyways things were going good and then his ex wife found out about me. She came to one of the basketball games and sat on a bleacher. I've never seen his ex wife before in person just on Facebook and every time I would look over she would be sitting there staring at me and giving me dirty looks. I called ( let's say his name is Todd) and told him that I think I seen his ex wife at the game. So we talked a little bit. Then after about 2 weeks I get the cold shoulder from him and I didn't know why he was doing this, he wouldn't answer any of my texts and went to one of the games and he sat by his girls he has 3 and one of them the cheerleader. Then his ex wife came and sat right down in front of him by o e of his daughters. Avoided me the whole game then left w/ out saying good bye or nothing. Then he text me good night that night, im like are you and your wife back together? He said no she's not my wife and we're not back together and nor do I want her. I was starting get confused and wonder why he was ghosting me. Few days went by a text here and there but nothing like it was when we met, I finally called him and said OK what's going on. He said his ex wife says that I am trouble and she will keep his youngest daughter away from him if he dates me. They have been divorced 7 years and she then that wanted it but then gets to control his happiness. Yes I have a record but not one of them is for a DUI or any drug offensives. I don't do drugs and rarely drink. So in like OK what should we do now, he said we can still be friends and do things together as friends and see where that goes maybe deeper or not. So mind you his ex wife is very ill. She has stage 4 breast and bone cancer and I've talked to my mother about this and she said that a one point he loved her, idk how long that were married but have 3 daughters too. My mom said that maybe sense she's in the stage 4 of the cancer that she might want the ones that she loves and the ones that loved her close bye sense it's serious. So then im put on hold I should say. Im going to stay away because in going g let him figure out what he wants. Im not going to be mean to anybody and I'll respect the ex wife on what she wants. Idk what her docs said I really know nothing. But this is the reason why the cold shoulder issue. Should I wait for him to figure out what he wants to do? Should I move on? My feelings are hurt and still very strong for him. I want to be w/ him so bad and he was the one who started this. He wanted to meet me and then we did then now he's ghosting me. Srry this I so long and no paragraphs spacing im on my phone and it's hard. Plz tell me what I should or should not do. I have know one to really talk to about this and been holding it in. Thanks you. Edited February 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Redhead14 Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 (edited) He got caught . . . he was getting the only thing he wanted from you. You don't wait for any guy who ghosts you. He's lied to you and he's blowing you off. Keep moving. Edited February 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
coolheadal Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Looks like he's either still keen on his Ex or she has something on him. To just cut you off like that stop isn't fair to you. Then again way tolerate such behavior from police off and his ex-wife still in control. You don't need such drama in your life now. Just put yourself together don't call him or text. Just let it be and get out of this situation. When kids are involved you know that the Ex still have the upper hand. Your not married to him nor are you engaged to him. So you have to say in this matter what so ever. It's between the two parents not you. Either you wait it out which I wouldn't recommend you do. She found about about your past and using it against you and he's policeman so he's worried his career being with you. 2
lurker74 Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Sounds like a crazy situation so I would apply Lurker Rule 4: avoid crazy situations. 1
smackie9 Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 He has an exwife that uses the children as leverage to have control. Obviously he wants to keep things calm between them, and well she has terminal cancer...I agree she probably wants to be as a family for her last days. People who are that sick, dealing with treatments and whatnot, they have serious mood swings too. It sucks all around for them. It is what it is. He tried to have some normalcy by being with you, to be close to someone, maybe even as an escape, who knows. Right now he doesn't want any more drama. It's just bad timing. Let it go. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 (edited) Don't bother waiting for him. There is too much going on between them and it's not the right time for him to date. Edited February 2, 2017 by ExpatInItaly 1
Author 1111volcano Posted February 2, 2017 Author Posted February 2, 2017 Thank you to everyone who read my story. I just wish he would have just left me alone.
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