Why is he doing this?

[Butterfly213]

Hello everyone. My boyfriend of one year broke up with me on December 30th , about one month ago. One Week before the breakup we were barely talking due to conflicting schedules, but I thought after one year we're strong enough to bare this predicament .

 

Well we had a fight, just like any relationship fight on December 29. We also ended it in a cold manner but I never saw the breakup coming on December 30th .

He broke up with me over a text, and insisted that he isn't letting me go ,that he just needs his "space" and needs break from relationships . He also lead me on by saying that once he gets better he'll talk to me again. We ended it on good terms, until days later he blocked me and removed me from every single social media site . Additionally, friends informed me that he went to the club 5 days after the breakup(with pictures)

 

On January 14th I confronted him, telling him that we need to discuss what happened and that it's so vague .He lead me on again by saying " will talk to you soon, but not today" . He also told me to not pressure him to speak to me . I kinda hugged him for few seconds and he hugged me back and said that he can't talk to me today.

 

Interestingly enough, when I saw him he couldn't look me in the eye, at all. In fact, he was looking at the ground.

 

Ever since then i've been progressing , I started no contact. In fact, I went on several dates and I actually am thinking about him for only few minutes throughout the day. I am not guilt shaming myself or blaming anyone . I really have progressed .

 

However certain thoughts take me steps backward, like why would he keep saying " will talk to you soon" and vague stuff like that ? My birthday was yesterday and I received no text from him(not that I was expecting one)

[d0nnivain]

He's saying all this stuff because he doesn't have the backbone to outright break up with you. He's hedging & trying to soften the blow.

 

 

Bottom line -- he wants to be free to go to clubs & what not. All you can do is let him go.

 

 

Even if he comes back don't take him back because you now know he sees you as disposable.

 

 

The friends who showed you him at a club did you a favor but once you set your mind to end this once & for all (no consultation with him required) & go NC ask those well meaning friends to stop updating you about him because it's simply too painful to hear.

 

 

Then you move on with your life. You will probably be over him by the time he realizes what he lost.

[Butterfly213]

He's saying all this stuff because he doesn't have the backbone to outright break up with you. He's hedging & trying to soften the blow.

 

 

Bottom line -- he wants to be free to go to clubs & what not. All you can do is let him go.

 

 

Even if he comes back don't take him back because you now know he sees you as disposable.

 

 

The friends who showed you him at a club did you a favor but once you set your mind to end this once & for all (no consultation with him required) & go NC ask those well meaning friends to stop updating you about him because it's simply too painful to hear.

 

 

Then you move on with your life. You will probably be over him by the time he realizes what he lost.

 

why couldn't he look me in the eye though? Does it mean that i was dating a cowardly man for one year?

[d0nnivain]

Not cowardly about everything just about this. It's actually harder than you think to break up with someone to look them in the eye, say it's over & know you are the source of pain to someone you once cared about. Very few people have the maturity, the vocabulary & the strength of character to rip off the proverbial Band-Aid.

 

 

He was most likely trying to be kind.

 

 

The end result is the same -- he wanted out

[Butterfly213]

Not cowardly about everything just about this. It's actually harder than you think to break up with someone to look them in the eye, say it's over & know you are the source of pain to someone you once cared about. Very few people have the maturity, the vocabulary & the strength of character to rip off the proverbial Band-Aid.

 

 

He was most likely trying to be kind.

 

 

The end result is the same -- he wanted out

 

 

His kindness resulted in misleading me, however after i realized that i was dumped over a text, disrespectfully and cold heartedly, and after i saw that he went clubbing while i was weeping, i could finally find a reason to move on. No one deserves my tears , especially those who let go of me in such a ruthless manner.

 

Funny thing, he said while breaking up with me that he will most probably regret his decision and beg for me, while i would have moved on . He knows it's coming. Oh well, i wish him goodluck in being free.

[stillafool]

why couldn't he look me in the eye though? Does it mean that i was dating a cowardly man for one year?

 

I think it's because he probably has been dating another girl and his guilt won't let him face you.

[Butterfly213]

I think it's because he probably has been dating another girl and his guilt won't let him face you.

 

the thought of it hurts so much