KBob Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 So I'm recently single again and thinking about OLD'ing. I'm not really too keen on that, but since all of my friends are married (and so are their friends) and my job is 90% male staffed, it's the only time efficient option I have right now. So I figured since I'm on LS, I might as well see if I can get some tips to step up my OLD game. I would like to know what women look for on a dating profile? Last time I was looking I used Tinder and Bumble, and it seems like profile descriptions are short and sweet. Is there anything specific you want to see about how a man describes himself?
Mkn1010 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) Hey there, I guess it depends on your age and what you're looking for! I'm a 30 year old single female and I used Tinder and Bumble on and off for around a year before throwing in the towel. I was personally looking to make meaningful connections (and some people said those particular apps are not the right ones for that). If you genuinely want to get to know people with the intention of it leading to something meaningful, then I would definitely recommend not leaving your profile description blank. Those were an automatic no for me. Also, don't say a bunch of generic cr*p, eg the most common interests listed are these: travel, fitness, BRUNCH (that's a hugely common, unimaginative one), family and friends (like no sh*t, who doesn't like those things). Be yourself, but don't describe yourself as 'funny', a 'top bloke' or anything similar. SHOW not tell. For example, don't say that you enjoy banter, just write something witty and that will be evident! And when starting a convo or responding to a girl's first message (eg on Bumble), try to tailor it to something on her profile. If that hasn't got much to work with, ask a totally random question, don't go with 'hey, how was your day' or anything boring like that!! Shirtless photos are a no no, unless you want to attract the kind of insecure girls that really only want to date arseholes deep down. Good luck, it's a jungle! (PS I've been criticised for being picky so you can probably get some dates by not subscribing to all the above tips haha) Edited February 1, 2017 by Mkn1010 3
Author KBob Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 Hey there, I guess it depends on your age and what you're looking for! I'm a 30 year old single female and I used Tinder and Bumble on and off for around a year before throwing in the towel. I was personally looking to make meaningful connections (and some people said those particular apps are not the right ones for that). If you genuinely want to get to know people with the intention of it leading to something meaningful, then I would definitely recommend not leaving your profile description blank. Those were an automatic no for me. Also, don't say a bunch of generic cr*p, eg the most common interests listed are these: travel, fitness, BRUNCH (that's a hugely common, unimaginative one), family and friends (like no sh*t, who doesn't like those things). Be yourself, but don't describe yourself as 'funny', a 'top bloke' or anything similar. SHOW not tell. For example, don't say that you enjoy banter, just write something witty and that will be evident! And when starting a convo or responding to a girl's first message (eg on Bumble), try to tailor it to something on her profile. If that hasn't got much to work with, ask a totally random question, don't go with 'hey, how was your day' or anything boring like that!! Shirtless photos are a no no, unless you want to attract the kind of insecure girls that really only want to date arseholes deep down. Good luck, it's a jungle! (PS I've been criticised for being picky so you can probably get some dates by not subscribing to all the above tips haha) Thanks for the response! I'm glad you did, everything you said is how I go about OLD with profiles and conversation, so I'm doing something right! I'm with you on being picky, I think you have to be on Tinder and Bumble! I'm a 32 year old male looking for a relationship. You're in the same demographic as me, it seems. If you threw in the towel on those two apps, what are you using for OLD?
Mkn1010 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Oh good, then you'll do just fine Well I'm actually not doing any OLD. I moved to a big city early last year and so I didn't really have a network of contacts, OLD was therefore helpful. I had a recent experience with a Bumble guy, posted about it here, who was very charming but attempted to charm the pants off me (quite literally haha). Even though I was aware of his games and didn't give him what he wanted, the experience was disappointing and kinda the last straw on the OLD thing for me! So I deleted my profile. There are a lot of cool things to do anyway in my area so I'm just going to get out n about more and see what happens! I'm not in any great rush. Hopefully, you'll have more luck! I think guys like you with genuine intentions are rare in that realm so it should serve you well!
TheTraveler Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Thanks for the response! I'm glad you did, everything you said is how I go about OLD with profiles and conversation, so I'm doing something right! I'm with you on being picky, I think you have to be on Tinder and Bumble! I'm a 32 year old male looking for a relationship. You're in the same demographic as me, it seems. If you threw in the towel on those two apps, what are you using for OLD? Guy here If you're not in shape, get in shape. It will up your matches. Remember they are looking at your pictures and that's the 1st thing they see. Add a good bio and you're good to go. Nothing wrong with looking for a relationship via apps, but be aware and take advantage of ONS and short-term relationships while you pursue what you want. Good luck!
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 and take advantage of ONS and short-term relationships while you pursue what you want. Don't listen to this advice. 2
Larryville Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 While there is an endless amount of OLD advice here what I will say is 1) read profiles something women clearly complain about often. 2) Don’t make it all about you, ask her questions act like you give a damn. 3) Be real in terms of who you are pursuing, I don’t know if dudes over-hype themselves, have an inflated view of themselves but look in the mirror and be honest about who you are. Pursue those that you have a chance at attracting. Or else you will soon start ranting about how OLD is jacked up. It is nothing more than a tool for meeting people. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 It's been a VERY long time since I was on OLD but there is a balance to writing any marketing document. Yes, you are marketing yourself. It has to ring true & exude confidence without crossing into arrogant. Like a work resume it should show the reader why you are qualified not just tell her. Keep it relatively light but not superficial and positive. Don't write a laundry list of what you don't want or your pet peeves. Be pithy & witty. Preferably have somebody who knows you & who writes well read it before you post. Also don't limit yourself to OLD alone. Ask your friends' wives if they have anybody to fix you up with. Go to in real life events to meet people too. 1
smackie9 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 From a female perspective, keep it simple, with some light humor, be easy going, open minded. One thing I have seen on here are guys profiles that come off as negative and forceful or read like a novel. I say be a little mysterious, and save the details for the date. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) There can be too much info and then there are guys who can't be bothered to even reveal the bare bone basics. Both are cause for red flags. I guess it depends on what you want. Are you the guy who is genuinely looking to date a girl and get to know her and are open to seeing how things unfold or are you just looking for a good time? Your answer will inevitably tailor your profile. If you're just looking for a good time (aka no strings, nothing serious) then I would be super honest about it but in a way that is both mature and respectful. There are far too many guys looking for just sex who either hide in disguise and mislead women or come off as insensitive horn dogs drooling at the mouth. I have a lot of respect for people who own their truths even if I don't share it. What do I look for? Fill out the damn profile. It's the least you can do for heaven's sake. Keep things simple but don't be so cryptic either. If you have a sense of humor, use it. Women love a guy who can be playful. Avoid the usual lines like "easy going guy", "drama-free", "looking for a good time", "don't know what to say so just ask..." Those are a dime a dozen. You don't need to write a novel describing yourself but you should at least make an effort in terms of being more creative when it comes to selling yourself. You're just one in a million other guys all looking for a nibble so it behooves you to set yourself apart from the rest. A variety of pics showing you in various situations is always good. I wouldn't have more than 4 or 5 otherwise you just look like your setting up house online permanently and one pic just isn't enough to take you seriously. And if you can, try staying away from posting pics of yourself shirtless holding a beer and leaning against some car, ugh. As for approaching women you fancy, I would strongly recommend that you READ their profiles. I know men are visual creatures and often go by pics only in terms of who they message. If you're looking for just sex then I suppose it works in your favor but if you're looking for someone with a shred of substance for dating, take the time to know a little about them and let them know it. The last thing I would advise is always be honest. It's unfortunate that honesty seems to be a rare commodity anymore, both in real life and especially online. All the best! Edited February 1, 2017 by Michelle ma Belle 1
Jj66 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 My Tinder profile had one line... "Some things I like:" followed by about a dozen emoticons. These included emoticons for sunshine, a tropical island, a couple dancing, wine, beer, some sports, hiking, the beach, a couple holding hands, etc. I also staged my pictures to tell a story. It seemed to work very well. The women I talked to about it liked the "mystery" of trying to figure out the emoticons. They had to stop swiping in order to "read" it. When I was on OK Cupid my profile was short. It combined self-deprecation and cockiness into a humorous mix and displayed just a hint of seriousness without exposing my soft underbelly too much. It was clear that I liked to laugh and wasn't taking OLD very seriously. Again, my photos were arranged to tell a story. Must have worked since I got unsolicited messages which I hear most guys don't get. I suggest you put up the best pictures you can and make them tell the story you want to tell. Get the viewer involved in your story. If she likes it, if she can envision herself in your story, she will be much more receptive when you message her. For good or mostly for bad, I am convinced that looks matter way more in OLD than they do in real life. You don't get a real chance to demonstrate your awesome personality. It's hard to communicate a welcoming and pleasant vibe with still pictures and a few words or emoticons. You are missing body language, sounds, smells, mannerisms and all sorts of things that contribute to attraction. I could easily see being attracted to someone in real life that I would have swiped left online. And visa versa.
scooby-philly Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Great advice so far. I'm 35, SWM, never married - but I've been engaged and have used a bunch of different apps on/off in between relationships. For the sake of clarity - here's a quick list of what I've found works - both from myself, from listening to other guys that have been successful, and from women who use it. 1. Decide what app/site you want to use based on your wants and the site. Tinder - great for casual, maybe long-term but not primary use Match/Eharmony - great for relationships - but not for hookups etc, etc, 2. As many said - create a good profile. Don't hide your personality. Be honest, frank, and be yourself. I'm using a site right now and women tell me they love my profile b/c while I did write a novel - though not too long by other site's profile parameters - I just let myself come through 3. Keep re-fining the profile. Go back to it once or twice and adjust 4. Photos - clear, fun, showing you doing stuff - but also what you look like 5. Yes, get in (better) shape. Not everyone has the time or interest in becoming "ripped". But if you got to the gym 2x a week - go 3x, if you're 225 go down to 210. 6. And all the time - be unique. Now that may be the same as "be yourself" - but I mean avoid cliche things - cliche lines in your profile, cliche conversation starters, cliche pick-up lines, cliche first dates or cliche second dates.
Newcitygirl Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Don't appear interested when you aren't actually interested!!! I had a guy recently cancel on me two hours before the date. Please don't waste a girls time!!!
Vinny1951 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 I have three friends who have successful found someone online, married then and are still married over 25 years. Two are males and one is a female. From my personal experience it seems that if someone is serious and can put up kissing a few frogs before finding your prince/princess, it can work. The key seems to be honesty. It may lower the number of people who respond to you but what you get is what you are looking for.
Author KBob Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 Don't appear interested when you aren't actually interested!!! I had a guy recently cancel on me two hours before the date. Please don't waste a girls time!!! I wouldn't do that. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's only guys that do this, though. I've had this sort of thing happen to me plenty of times. I have three friends who have successful found someone online, married then and are still married over 25 years. They met online over 25 years ago hey? Didn't think online dating existed back then. A lot of great info here, thanks to everyone that posted. A lot of it reinforced what I'm already doing with my profiles and interactions, so that makes me think I'm on the right track!
angel.eyes Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) OLD has been around a long time. I have a few colleagues who met their spouses on Match back in the mid-'90s. Still happily married! As far as your question, I was looking for someone compatible. The more info provided, the easier it was to determine that. So, write well and include details about yourself, your interests, etc. Edited February 1, 2017 by angel.eyes
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