rachelg12 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 I dont even know where to start. My ex and I are both 21. We fell in love when we were 17. He was my first boyfriend and first love, and I was his second relationship (he dated a girl for two years in high school). Since the beggining of our relationship it has been a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. In the first two years, it was because of his weed addiction, which i was not ok with. He would quit, then relapse, break up with me, hate his life, then come crawling back after about two weeks, and I would always let him because I loved him. In the most recent two years, weed is no longer in the picture,however he has been craving a life that he thinks he needs to be happy. He wants to be single and travel with his friends and even though he hasn’t said it, I believe he wants to sleep with other girls because he has only ever slept with me and his ex. He feels like he is too young to be in a serious relationship and that I am holding him back from what he wants to do. He has said this everytime he has broken up with me, which seems to be every four months. He lives wildly for about two weeks (clubbing every weekend etc.) then comes crawling back to me when he realizes it doesn’t actually make him that happy. He has recently started at a new job at Flight Centre, where the culture there is very party orientated. Since he has started he seems to be very influenced by his colleagues, who encourage him to party hard and “live life to the max”. Since he has started, I knew it was only a matter of time before he left me again. Sure enough, two and a half weeks ago he broke up with me, saying that his heart wasn’t in it anymore and that I was holding him back. I took it very well and told him i understood and just wanted him to be happy. When he left i broke down in tears and I have been absolutely shattered since. Ads by Kiosked I kept telling myself its just like every other time, and he will come back, but its been nearly three weeks and I havent heard a word from him. I havent tried to contact him because I know he needs space. I miss him so so much. I found out from a friend of a friend that he joined tinder the day after we broke up and has been talking to many girls on there. I found out last night that he went on a date with a girl, and took her to my favourite spot by the river. I am so devastated. I dont understand what is going through his head or how he could forget about me so quickly. I dont understand why he isn’t upset, or why he doesn’t miss me. Do you think he will still come back this time? I really want to fix things
Pumpingiron34 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Yea, i do think he will come back because he is a guy. Why not come back when you know you can get laid again and again. Things get slow in the club, o let me call my gf who will keep taking me back. Dump this loser/user and tell him to have fun in the club, never speak to him again. Theres guys out there like me who could only wish for a girl that wanted to make things work. Go find one and say goodbye to that scumbag.
Author rachelg12 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 Yea, i do think he will come back because he is a guy. Why not come back when you know you can get laid again and again. Things get slow in the club, o let me call my gf who will keep taking me back. Dump this loser/user and tell him to have fun in the club, never speak to him again. Theres guys out there like me who could only wish for a girl that wanted to make things work. Go find one and say goodbye to that scumbag. Do you really think he will get sick of it? The thing I am the most confused about is that he said he wants to be single and free yet he went on a date last night with a girl and took her to my favourite spot near the river. I dont understand why he is looking for something serious two weeks after we broke up. Do you think its his way of coping with the breakup?
divegrl Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Do you really think he will get sick of it? The thing I am the most confused about is that he said he wants to be single and free yet he went on a date last night with a girl and took her to my favourite spot near the river. I dont understand why he is looking for something serious two weeks after we broke up. Do you think its his way of coping with the breakup? I'm so sorry OP. This must be really difficult for you. He's telling you he wants to be single and free .... so let him. This is a very unhealthy relationship. True love, joy and peace come from within; not from another person. Take care my friend. Hugs.
Pumpingiron34 Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Do you really think he will get sick of it? The thing I am the most confused about is that he said he wants to be single and free yet he went on a date last night with a girl and took her to my favourite spot near the river. I dont understand why he is looking for something serious two weeks after we broke up. Do you think its his way of coping with the breakup? Do i really think he will get sick of it? yes. Do i think he took that girl to your favorite spot because he wants to get serious with her? I highly doubt it. Listen, im 23 my ex is 22. I was with her for five years and she was the only girl i had ever had sex with. Did i think about wanting to sleep with other people because i had only been with her? Yes, when it became truly toxic i pondered what it would be like to be with some one else. Would i have broke up with her to go bang some other chick? No, because I still loved her. My point being is its quite possible he has found the relationship to have become suffocating and is wanting to be with other woman that are not going to hold back his now partying life style. You have now set your self as a backup plan in case this situation fails for him. By always taking him back. You need to remove your self from his life and go get your self a date with another guy. You have the ultimate power and dont know it because, your being blinded with basic manipulation of not being good enough for him making you want to be good enough. Go get your self a date, take a cute Instagram pic with him and it will wreck him on 1000 different levels. Its not revenge hes moving on with other woman, now your just doing what hes doing. When he blows your phone up you probably should not answer but, your going to. You say, Tommy im moving on theirs guys out there who are not going to leave me when there bored ive had enough of your bull**** go have fun your free now then hang up. There is no confusion here does not matter if he got bored, loves you or is thinking about you. What matters is that hes a piece of **** and will regret it on a billion levels if you disappear from his life for good. If he truly still did love you, he'd be sitting next to you and you would not be typing this. Funny, but my situation was the opposite. She left me after 5 years when she turned 21 for the partying lifestyle to. She wanted a man she could drink with, her words. I was not against drinking but, i did not want to spend every night in the club. Should i change my views on life because of that no. Did it hurt not bending, still does. But, would i have been truly happy if i just stfu and went to the club every night, not at all. So if your going to make things work by offering to party with him. Do not at all. Theres another guy out there waiting to be yours who wants a similar lifestyle to yours. Tell that douche to f off. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Do you really think he will get sick of it? The thing I am the most confused about is that he said he wants to be single and free yet he went on a date last night with a girl and took her to my favourite spot near the river. I dont understand why he is looking for something serious two weeks after we broke up. Do you think its his way of coping with the breakup? Honestly? No, because he doesn't feel the way you do. He hasn't been invested in you for quite a long time. He isn't hurting the way you are because he didn't take your relationship very seriously. So, he's not "coping" by dating another girl. He's out exploring his options now that your relationship is over, sad to say. Many dumpers say they want to be single, but change their minds when someone comes along who they're attracted to. You need to finally let this go. You two did not have a healthy or stable relationship and you deserve so much more than some guy who feels the urge to be single all the time. The right guy for you won't have this problem.
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