guild11 Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Hey guys, we broke up about 2 month ago, she insists it was mutual but honestly she brought it up and we basically agreed to split. The relationship was a bit messy from the start, She let our boss (her close girlfriend) to say bad stuff about me without defending me. She also revealed that she was planning to leave me if she had got the new job in different city. When we started dating she asked if I will ever consider converting my religion (I'm not religious) so we could marry. At some point of our relationship I run into financial problems and I moved back with my parents for 3 month to solve the issues, she got angry said I'm not a man and she is ashamed by the fact that her 26 yo boyfriend lives with his parents. At the end she simply said she wants to progress with her life and we "agreed" that we should break up. Overall I felt I did my best for her to make her life easier but she seems to do the opposite. After the break up we had sex few times, I also had sex with 3 other women and she has no clue about it. After about a month being single she started saying she miss me and that she still loves me, we met pretty much every day and had sex. I really started missing her even tho we had physical interaction and asked her to give another chance so maybe we could work it out, but everytime she simply would turn me down right away. About 2 weeks ago I decided it's time to move on, I told her I'm sorry for everything and that I wish the best for her We agreed to stop seeing each other. A week ago she called me crying and said she wants to see me, I told her that I don't want to anymore, but she literally begged me and said she wants us together and that we could work it out. We met again, I told her that I got distant from her, that I don't trust her no more and it won't change. She said she will do everything to earn my trust and that she realized how bad she loves me. Now we are basically in the same spot, we meet occasion act as if we are still friends and I have no clue where we are heading, she says daily that she misses me and keeps she loves me. Should I give it another chance?
LitTunnel Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 haha, bro, you're awesome! You slept with 3 women while apart from your ex, AWESOME!! And now she's on her hands and knees begging you back, AWESOME!!! Seems like you have the major upper hand in this relationship. You just do what you feel is right in your heart. If you want to be with her then be with her but don't cheat on her if you do end up with her. No one deserves to be cheated on. Handle biz bro, you da man. I wish I was in your shoes with my ex but unfortunately I dropped the ball big time. Good luck!! 3
Sweetfish Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Hey guys, we broke up about 2 month ago, she insists it was mutual but honestly she brought it up and we basically agreed to split. The relationship was a bit messy from the start, She let our boss (her close girlfriend) to say bad stuff about me without defending me. She also revealed that she was planning to leave me if she had got the new job in different city. When we started dating she asked if I will ever consider converting my religion (I'm not religious) so we could marry. At some point of our relationship I run into financial problems and I moved back with my parents for 3 month to solve the issues, she got angry said I'm not a man and she is ashamed by the fact that her 26 yo boyfriend lives with his parents. At the end she simply said she wants to progress with her life and we "agreed" that we should break up. Overall I felt I did my best for her to make her life easier but she seems to do the opposite. After the break up we had sex few times, I also had sex with 3 other women and she has no clue about it. After about a month being single she started saying she miss me and that she still loves me, we met pretty much every day and had sex. I really started missing her even tho we had physical interaction and asked her to give another chance so maybe we could work it out, but everytime she simply would turn me down right away. About 2 weeks ago I decided it's time to move on, I told her I'm sorry for everything and that I wish the best for her We agreed to stop seeing each other. A week ago she called me crying and said she wants to see me, I told her that I don't want to anymore, but she literally begged me and said she wants us together and that we could work it out. We met again, I told her that I got distant from her, that I don't trust her no more and it won't change. She said she will do everything to earn my trust and that she realized how bad she loves me. Now we are basically in the same spot, we meet occasion act as if we are still friends and I have no clue where we are heading, she says daily that she misses me and keeps she loves me. Should I give it another chance? how long was the relationship
ty10 Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Major upper hand in the relationship? That's not how relationships work! It's not a competition. No OP, I don't think you should give it another chance, the issues that were there are unresolved. Until they are - no relationship will last.
BAcK Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 No. Don't even think about getting back with her. Of all the posts on this forum, I've seen one similarity in all break ups. The dumper tries to come back if they think that they have lost their power over the dumpee or if they have not found anyone better. In your case, both the reasons above apply. You are in a much better condition emotionally, mentally and financially. Why would you even consider giving her a second chance when she did not! 1
Author guild11 Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 how long was the relationship About 2 years
keiji Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 At some point of our relationship I run into financial problems and I moved back with my parents for 3 month to solve the issues, she got angry said I'm not a man and she is ashamed by the fact that her 26 yo boyfriend lives with his parents. Her reaction when you're in trouble is feeling ashamed? Run like hell. 2
mystificatecg Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Agreed with all above, She isn't worth it. Honestly, I'd hit it good again then tell her no and push her away, then repeat the process until she stops coming back.
lolablue17 Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 (edited) The timing is very disturbing. It's alright if a girl regrets the break up, but she finally wants you after rejecting you few times, and only after you started to move on. 1. Most chances that her ego took control over her feelings. She became addicted to the status in which you're running after her, and she's rejecting you over and over. Now it's been taken from her, there's no one to boost her ego, So she wants you back, but of course until she finds another guy\s who will boost her ego. 2. She found your true value only after you no longer want her. These are rules for the trade market of bid\ask. The very fact that you're moving on, doubles your value in her eyes. It means that when she'll have you, your value will immediately drop significantly. Don't fall for that. Edited January 31, 2017 by lolablue17 1
jamili Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Give it another chance. What's the harm? I know 3 married couples irl who broke up and got back together, it can work. You never know until you try. People change after a breakup. 2
HeartCease Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Major upper hand in the relationship? That's not how relationships work! It's not a competition. No OP, I don't think you should give it another chance, the issues that were there are unresolved. Until they are - no relationship will last. I agree that "having the upper hand" is a poor way to assess a valued relationship. And I agree that a relationship won't work with unresolved issues. But I would add that if both parties are willing to work to resolve those issues, then there may be hope. That said, it does seem that both individuals have reason to distrust the other. He's entertaining the possibility of being in a relationship with her despite apparently viewing his liaisons with the other women as some kind of "secret". And she outright admitted that she had every intention of leaving him had her other plans worked out. On a list of difficult issues to overcome, trust has to be near the very top.
Sweetfish Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 About 2 years I think its too soon... I believe if you get back with her too soon she may take you for granted. If you do get back together hear what her plans are first. Do you want to marry her? Have kids?
Author guild11 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 I think its too soon... I believe if you get back with her too soon she may take you for granted. If you do get back together hear what her plans are first. Do you want to marry her? Have kids? She is the first woman I fell in love with, even tho now I feel less for her, the way she rejected me multiple times pushed me far away from her but I still love her very much. After I got over her and accepted it I changed, I noticed I'm not that naive anymore and became more confident. I didn't have sex with other women to cheat on her I just wanted my mind off her. If we are going to get back in the future and if she will change I won't see a reason why wouldn't marry.
fromheart Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 IF she will change. What steps has she taken to change in your time apart? As she has been may well be the way she always is. Just to reiterate her behavior to you, she lets people disrespect you without standing up to them, talks about leaving you due to work. And this is 2 years in, when everything is relatively fresh and new. You honestly see this getting better in 10-20 years? Look at the steps she's made to change and the results from that. Be aware that getting back with her may well lead to her getting comfortable with you again, and dishing out the same treatment.
MovingOnIsHard Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 She broke up with you because she was ashamed that you moved back in with my your parents? You know she's not going to be there to stick it out with you during hard times. All she thinks about is herself. Don't take her back
Been Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 HELL NO. She went running at the first sign of trouble. You could really trust someone like that?Not to mention she said she was ashamed about you.
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