Author Dis Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 Dis, I saw you passed on coffee with this guy and I think that was a smart move. I agree completely with RC that this guy's story doesn't pass the smell test. He was fired? FIRED? Fired= being let go for cause (as opposed to being "let go" because the job is not needed). Plus, if he has a BA it's not clear why he'd be doing manual work in the first place nor why he hasn't found some other work since getting hurt. Anyway, I don't think it means it's "all about money" if you want to find someone who can be your partner in forming a life together. Yes,things could happen down the road that will render one of you less capable of contributing to the partnership, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to start out on a more-or-less even footing. And by that I don't mean that each person makes exactly the same amount or that chores are split exactly 50/50, but that each person has an oar in the water and is rowing toward the same end point. Hang in there. Maybe you can move once you finish your degree? Thanks so much introverted! Once I started chatting with him and his story didnt add up I immediately got flash backs of my two long-term relationships with 'The Same Type Of Guy'. Me begging them to get a job, me shifting through their half truths and lies, my doing all the work in the relationship, taking care of them so they won't fall apart, me finding out they're still on this drug or that drug I swear I started to cringe!!! Visceral reaction! But I'm responsible for the choices I made. I chose to be with those men, so I shouldnt have been surprised. I made my bed until I broke up with the last one in 2015. I would rather not move beause I really want to be around for my parents when they get older. They're coming to live with me when the time comes....which wont be for a while though I dont want to make it seem like every guy in CT is like this. Once I started dating again in 2015, all the men I dated had great jobs and were self sufficient. I met them on OLD. Unfortunately nothing panned out and I became to weary to continue The reason 'The Same Type Of Guy' is flocking to me now is just because of fb. I should be more careful about who I accept friend requests from. I'm not looking for a bf right now, I'm off OLD. I'm in nursing school so every Friday I'm in clinical at a massive hospital. I'm praying to all that is holy that I'll meet someone there. Lots of cute MDs, RNs, and PAs so hopefully something will pan out! There are plenty of professional guys where I live, but I seem to be attracting the 'Same Type Of Guy' Not sure how to change that....
Author Dis Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 I think something to remember is that if you (or we) are taking time to write on a message board questioning if you should go on a date with a specific guy, that is your gut telling you that you probably shouldn't. The answer is there before you even type it out. You did the right thing here. Even if all was good, you had doubts and they would linger. Hey girl! This is 100% correct. Like I told winny, I knew it was a bad idea and I didnt want to...I just wanted some validation I guess 1
Author Dis Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 Anyway, I don't think it means it's "all about money" if you want to find someone who can be your partner in forming a life together. Yes,things could happen down the road that will render one of you less capable of contributing to the partnership, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to start out on a more-or-less even footing. And by that I don't mean that each person makes exactly the same amount or that chores are split exactly 50/50, but that each person has an oar in the water and is rowing toward the same end point. I forgot to reply to this part I totally agree. Its not about money. Its about stablity and dependability I want to build a life with a man, get married, have kids, get a house etc. Now that I'm 30 I'm thinking long-term. I need a guy that will grow with me and contribute to a future together. Like you said, theres no guarantees down the road but I need to start out with someone who is on the same playing field as I am The last several guys I dated were financially stable and that is one of the criteria that my potential partner must meet in order for me to give it a shot Absolutely will not settle for anything less 2
Author Dis Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 I can't tell you how many times I've been pushed aside for a recovering alcoholic or an unemployed guy. I'm 50 and still never married and that's a big red flag to the ladies despite the fact that I have a nice four bedroom home in the nicest part of town all paid for. I'm sorry ututut The world of dating certainly isnt fair is it? Well, I can tell you I would much rather date a stable guy whos never been married than a recovering alcoholic....no contest!! Hands down!! To tell you the truth, if a woman choses a hot mess over a stable guy....then she's probably no prize herself lol 1
Recommended Posts