Hatelove_1 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Hi everyone, I am here asking for advice to maybe someone who's been in this situation before. My boyfriend and I just mutually broke up for the second time around. Second chance failed because I was not ready. I love him very deeply, however we have had some bad history in the past year. We became extremely toxic for each other. One year ago, I was dumped with very little knowledge of WHY. No real reason, basically he just couldn't be in a relationship and he told me he no longer loved me. As you can imagine, I was devastated, I begged, cried and did everything everyone here says you should'nt do. I do not regret it because, It was simply all emotions and when we break up we all have our own ways to deal with it. I was VERY hurt although the months prior we had been going through a rough patch I did not see it coming. I am very committed and I believe that people can always work through issues together. Sadly he broke it off and I had no say in the matter. While I was devastated crying myself to sleep every night, he began a relationship with someone about two months after. This provided me closure and in a way helped me move on. I was mad, angry, sad, hurt, and all the emotions you can think of but it helped me move on. At the 6 month mark, he- reinitiates contact and all my progress went out the window. He came back asking for another chance and saying he was ready to give me the world. Although I loved him, I was not ready to take that step but I was scared to loose him forever and jumped ship. We then began dating again, not very good as I did not let go of the past, we moved in together, I still had lots of resentment towards him, basically I knew i loved him but I still hated him at the same time. While living together was great, for a new couple living together we did not have issues rather than the issues we already had regarding the past, things became so bad. We became so toxic. I wanted him to feel bad, I continued to guilt him about his RS, then he began digging into my past, things got worse and worse by the day. He was in so much emotional pain he said he rather be dead. Things got really toxic. About three weeks ago I see that the only way out is to leave because it was so toxic. I pack some clothes and go to my parents. I tell my family that im back because things are not going very well. I hear from him the next day and he is in a muchhhhh better state. He didn't eat 48 hours prior because he was hurt and depressed and he would not talk to me. We spoke and tried to kind of work things out but there is so much resentment from both sides we simply know there is no way to make it work right now. I love him and I know he loves me, but we are also grown and know its best to part ways which we did for good today. Im having a very difficult time as I love him with all my heart but we did hurt each other very much and im not even close to being over the pain. Im nowhere near being able to open to anyone. How do you let go someone you still love? I hope to reunite one day not in the near future, and maybe when we are different people we can work out. Im not counting on this at all, but I guess if its meant to be it will be. Any input will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 It's hard to break up but that doesn't mean it's bad. You already know all the intellectual reasons it doesn't work. It's OK to be sad. Change is also scary but you know you need to move on. Grieve for the loss of something that once was precious to you but don't stay out of sentimentality. 1
Author Hatelove_1 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Posted January 30, 2017 Thank you for your input d0nnivain. It's just so sad. I wish we would have worked out. We were once so perfect for one another.
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