Author jav100 Posted February 2, 2017 Author Posted February 2, 2017 Thank you for your response. We actually talked about some counseling as I think I also have some cold feet about marriage which might be causing me to use these issues as justifications. But on the other hand I think do have valid concerns - in general I am very indecisive and marriage decision is wrecking havoc on me. I feel every minute I go from she's been good the last few years and has changed, the challenges can be managed but then go to what the heck am I thinking being with her - I would be crazy to marry her as others have said. I know that no one is perfect including me and even if we break up the next gal will have new challenges. It sounds like there are many different parts to this relationship that your have questions about. Maybe the best thing for you to proceed in doing is to explore each piece by itself, and then proceed with an across the board decision, once you have done your "homework" on the issues at hand. For instance, if children are a deal breaker for you...is your significant other willing to pursue other methods of having children-surrogacy, IVF, adoption, etc. Another issue that is very closely related to the pregnancy/having children discussion is that herpes can be passed to children through the birth canal, but it might be possible to have a C-Section to avoid this. Please check with your health care provider to be sure. When considering marriage, its really best to have pre-marital counseling to explore the many areas with your SO that might have been forgotten about when considering the serious step of marriage. Studies show that pre-marital counseling increases the success of marriages overall, so maybe you could explore that free service as well if you attend a church or have access to some materials from the library or online with a trusted friend/family member/spiritual advisor. My prayers are with you as you go forward evaluating your relationship. Here are some free resources to get you started:Marriage Preparation 101 | Focus on the Family ~Prayers and Blessings Friend!
ashy555 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Ok so it has been 5 years. She has clearly lied to you on numerous occasions. She may have been good the past few years. What about in 10-15 years time when she get bored. She has already cheated before and gotten away with it. She'll do it again. Even if she doesn't, any slight sign will set you off as you DON"T TRUST HER. You can't have a healthy marriage without trust. You wouldn't be making this post if you DIDN'T have cold feet. Trust your gut. You may love her now but it won't get easier because you decided to get married. It just makes it really messy if you break up. Especially if you have a child. I really hope you can make the right decision here. Marriage does not take away your problems. Neither does having children.
OatsAndHall Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 I will not date someone that gives me cause to question their judgment. The STDs and sleeping around would be far to much for me to handle as I could not see a stable future together. I would have called it off with this woman a long time ago. To be blunt, I wouldn't have any respect for her when I found out about the promiscuous behavior and the STDs. I have gone through phases where I have dated more than one woman in a time period but I don't jump in the sack with them when I'm doing so. It's risky behavior given the prevalence of STDs in our world today.
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