ElaineShallott Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I met this guy online and we hit it off instantly, talking and texting nonstop. I really liked him. Im divorced (he is too) and it had been so long since I'd talked to a guy on the phone for hours. I felt so comfortable with him that in retrospect I may have been too open. I talked about another guy I was seeing and how I'd feel uncomfortable being intimate with two guys simultaneously. And we live a bit of a distance away so I talked about logistics. We exchanged pictures, we both liked what we saw and planned to meet. We met and spent an hour talking and holding hands. In remembering I was the one who took his hand. So at the end I asked about seeing each other again and he said he didn't want to break my heart but he didn't think it would work. At first he said the logistics would be a problem and that I was worried about exclusivity. Finally though he said he just wasn't as attracted to me in person, even though he wanted to be. So that was a blow to the ego. He agreed my pictures weren't misleading so it's hard for me to understand but okay, he's not into me. A week or so later though he posted a comment on one of my Facebook posts and I texted him a reply and we ended up on the phone for an hour. We were flirting and he was turned on which I don't understand at all since he said he's not attracted to me. He even mentioned me coming to see him but I said I couldn't because my confidence around him is completely shaken at this point. The thing is, I think he misunderstood what I want from a relationship. I think I came off as wanting a serious thing right away when what I really want is someone to talk to and have sexy time with. So, my question is, do you think it's still possible to have that with this guy? Should I not initiate contact and see if he writes to me? Sometimes I can be overly flirtatious I think, which to me is fun but to guys might take away the chase? Normally if someone blows me off I just move on, but this guy and I are Facebook friends in a group together so it's hard to see his posts and not want to talk to him. Also it's hard to believe he isn't attracted to me when his body reacts to me. I'm so confused.
Jj66 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 When you answer my question Why do you want to be with someone who says he isn't attracted to you in person? You will answer your own question 3
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Anyone can be turned on by someone online that they are not attracted to in person. It is just a fantasy. I would be very careful about falling into that trap. He has already expressed is lack of attraction in person, which is brutal enough. To allow anything to continue at this point will just make you appear desperate. You may think there is a good connection there, but I think it is going to do more damage to your self esteem in the long run. Is it really worth it? 3
Ronnys93 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 This is more about you and your self respect. If someone says they aren't attracted to you outright after an hour, you need to realize that it's probably not going to get much further. He seems to not want any kind of connection with you because he realized this within the time that you both were hanging out in person. Take his words as a "Thank you for not wasting my time" and find someone that is INTO you. You deserve that, for yourself.
ElizabethIII Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Finally though he said he just wasn't as attracted to me in person, even though he wanted to be. Why are you confused? At that point, I would have walked away and literally said goodbye then and left him standing there. I did exactly that on a date a couple of week ago when a man was rude to me, if you search for the thread here, you'll find it. He would have been unfriended on facebook and any messages he sent me ignored. Why are you confused. He has told you straight up he isnt attracted to you. 1
stillafool Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 he said he didn't want to break my heart but he didn't think it would work. At first he said the logistics would be a problem and that I was worried about exclusivity. Finally though he said he just wasn't as attracted to me in person, even though he wanted to be. I don't know why you would want sexy time with a man who has made it clear he isn't attracted to you and would break your heart. Don't you think you deserve better?
Ronnys93 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Why are you confused? At that point, I would have walked away and literally said goodbye then and left him standing there. I did exactly that on a date a couple of week ago when a man was rude to me, if you search for the thread here, you'll find it. He would have been unfriended on facebook and any messages he sent me ignored. Why are you confused. He has told you straight up he isnt attracted to you. This is exactly my problem too. Like within the first hour of the date? I would have ran out of there faster than ever. 1
Recommended Posts