In love with bf's best friend... (sorta complicated)

[RoseSapphire24]

Hello, I didn't really know where to put this so if it's in the wrong place or inappropriate, please delete or move, I just had to get it out.

 

I've been with my other half, we'll call him David, for 3 years now and it has been good. The bad times are few and far between. But, when the bad times hit, they hit pretty hard. I have depression and David doesn't seem to understand that I need some emotional support sometimes. In fact, he sometimes thinks my crying is annoying (but that's another issue for another time).

 

Anyway, about 2 years ago I met his best friend and team leader (let's call him Tom). We hit it off pretty well, hung out with David and some other friends, nothing weird at all. After a year/year and a half, Tom had a position open on his team and offered me a job, working along side David. As I was (and still am) in a financial situation, I took it. It's an amazing job. But about 2 months later, things, sorta changed...

 

Me and David were getting frustrated, which made me more depressed. Tom noticed and talked to me about it. He was way more understanding about it than David and we instantly became better friends. We started chatting more, working together more, that sort of thing.

 

Anyway, long story short, I've basically fallen in love with him. I keep thinking about him. It's not that I don't love David, I do. I really do. And I don't talk about my depression to Tom anymore, I stopped that about 3 or four months ago in the hope my feelings would go away, but they haven't.

 

I can't stop seeing Tom, I work for him and I can't leave my job. If I tell him, I run the risk of ruining my relationship, his and David's relationship, his own romantic relationship (his gf is very possessive) and our friendship. I feel guilty and sick and horrible. What do I do? Thanks

[preraph]

What you do is you put on your big girl panties and make yourself do the right thing, and as you know, the right thing is not to upset the lives of three people and risk your job.

 

This guy is human too. If you were the one having to pick up his socks or whatever, he probably wouldn't seem as tempting to you as he does at work. You just be a mature person with ethics and boundaries, and you detach yourself and take a step back to where you can deal with this. You do not want to be the person who went after your boyfriend's fest friend because nobody likes that person.

[Sweetfish]

Hello, I didn't really know where to put this so if it's in the wrong place or inappropriate, please delete or move, I just had to get it out.

 

I've been with my other half, we'll call him David, for 3 years now and it has been good. The bad times are few and far between. But, when the bad times hit, they hit pretty hard. I have depression and David doesn't seem to understand that I need some emotional support sometimes. In fact, he sometimes thinks my crying is annoying (but that's another issue for another time).

 

Anyway, about 2 years ago I met his best friend and team leader (let's call him Tom). We hit it off pretty well, hung out with David and some other friends, nothing weird at all. After a year/year and a half, Tom had a position open on his team and offered me a job, working along side David. As I was (and still am) in a financial situation, I took it. It's an amazing job. But about 2 months later, things, sorta changed...

 

Me and David were getting frustrated, which made me more depressed. Tom noticed and talked to me about it. He was way more understanding about it than David and we instantly became better friends. We started chatting more, working together more, that sort of thing.

 

Anyway, long story short, I've basically fallen in love with him. I keep thinking about him. It's not that I don't love David, I do. I really do. And I don't talk about my depression to Tom anymore, I stopped that about 3 or four months ago in the hope my feelings would go away, but they haven't.

 

I can't stop seeing Tom, I work for him and I can't leave my job. If I tell him, I run the risk of ruining my relationship, his and David's relationship, his own romantic relationship (his gf is very possessive) and our friendship. I feel guilty and sick and horrible. What do I do? Thanks

 

So Rose can I give you my take on whats going down? You are monkey branching to another guy. If you weren't so happy with David you would have left him. I understand you have emotional needs; however, I going to take a wild guest your boyfriend has been very supportive and loves you. You call him your other half. Right now your taking your boyfriend for granted and have your eyes set on Tom willing to destory friendships and love interest. David has also taken you for granted as well so it taked two to tango.

 

You suffer from depression.. is getting with Tom going to fix it. Is jumping into the arms of Tom going to make all your problems go away? What happens if om gets tired of your crying... what now?

 

Are you in love... or is this just a new anti-depression. Any time you feel sad you run off to Tom? How about you see whats wrong with you first instead of trying to find an outside supply to support your internal issues.

 

If you don't love david than you need to leave him and work on you. Not jump on board the next bus thats new and shiny.

[Chica80]

Personally I think you need to leave Tom alone.

Break up with David.

 

Get in to counseling...and give yourself sometime to clear your head. Being away from both will put things in a better perspective.

[TheAntiHero]

Have a threesome.

[d0nnivain]

Get a new job.

 

 

Then break up with your BF.

 

 

Regardless of whether you get to date his BFF after that, you are still in no position to continue a relationship with your BF.

[thefooloftheyear]

3.5 Billion other males on the planet......and you picked the worst one ever...as far as he is concerned...

 

Oh well...

 

TFY