Confuzed456 Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 I have been off and on with a woman for almost 4 years. And when I say "off and on" I mean that she breaks up with me and we get back together. She's cheated, lied, She's not always the nicest person to me but... I love her. I even asked her to marry me. She said yes, but then said she hated the way I proposed, hated the ring, and started seeing someone else. BUT.... we eventually got back together. So here's the problem. She wants to go back to being my fiance. However after the brake up everyone that I told including some family members hate her. They don't even understand why I still speak to her. But I love her. And I do want to marry her It's just difficult breaking people back into that idea so I've just been saying that we're dating again. Yesterday I had to go to my dad's funeral. . I invited her to come with me and when she did I introduced her to some new family members as my girlfriend. She says that I'm not proud to claim her as anything more and after the funeral she sent me a text message dumping me. Again. I love her and maybe she's right I should have said fiance again. I want to marry her and be proud to tell people about us but honestly it scares me. She's always leaving me for one thing or the other and I feel like a fool every time she does it. This time I want people to like her.... and take the time to love her and get to know her again before I start throwing words around like marriage. I don't want to lose her.
Marc878 Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 You're the problem here. Why do you hang onto this? You have more value than to keep clinging onto someone who isn't a good choice. You'd be smart to block her and go complete no contact. Your life is what you'll make it. 4
heyall Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 She doesnt have an ounce of respect for you, at all. Funeral is a moment that one should be more tolerant about you, yet she was mad for something so trivial. This is an abusive relationship, please, move on.
remyjacobs Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 You need your space brother and you definitely need to show her that you are not afraid to take your own space:mad: You need the courage to cut off contact for a good while until you feel the air has cleared up, In the meantime, hit some casual bars up, meet new people ( of both genders) and you never know what happens next. Sometimes the spark is gone because of us men and not necessarily because of her cheers:D
Redhead14 Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 I have been off and on with a woman for almost 4 years. And when I say "off and on" I mean that she breaks up with me and we get back together. She's cheated, lied, She's not always the nicest person to me but... I love her. I even asked her to marry me. She said yes, but then said she hated the way I proposed, hated the ring, and started seeing someone else. BUT.... we eventually got back together. So here's the problem. She wants to go back to being my fiance. However after the brake up everyone that I told including some family members hate her. They don't even understand why I still speak to her. But I love her. And I do want to marry her It's just difficult breaking people back into that idea so I've just been saying that we're dating again. Yesterday I had to go to my dad's funeral. . I invited her to come with me and when she did I introduced her to some new family members as my girlfriend. She says that I'm not proud to claim her as anything more and after the funeral she sent me a text message dumping me. Again. I love her and maybe she's right I should have said fiance again. I want to marry her and be proud to tell people about us but honestly it scares me. She's always leaving me for one thing or the other and I feel like a fool every time she does it. This time I want people to like her.... and take the time to love her and get to know her again before I start throwing words around like marriage. I don't want to lose her. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. And, yeah, you should be scared. So scared, that you run far away from her. And, you're not proud to introduce her as more, because, you aren't proud of the situation and how she's been treating you and it. Most everyone is aware of how she's treated/treating you and, I'd think you be a little embarrassed. End this once and for all. You don't love HER, you love the idea of her and a relationship and the same is true for her.
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 The people who love you want the best for you. It's not her. She has been horrible to you but you keep coming back. Why? It's got to be more than you love her, because she certainly doesn't even like or respect you. Question is do you love & respect yourself enough to get off this unhealthy merry-go-round?
Author Confuzed456 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Posted January 30, 2017 I don't know why I go back. I know she isn't perfect. She's had some issues in the past that have caused her to be the way that she is. I'm paying for some of the sins of hr ex's. And I try to look past all that or at least understand her but she does NOT make that easy.
Sweetfish Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I don't know why I go back. I know she isn't perfect. She's had some issues in the past that have caused her to be the way that she is. I'm paying for some of the sins of hr ex's. And I try to look past all that or at least understand her but she does NOT make that easy. No your paying for the sins of YOUR actions and your need to co-exist with someone else is your greatest sin. You've been disrespected in every form and fashion. She keeps coming back because guys are pumping and dumping and she comes back to you because they don't want to deal with her.
PinkElephants Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 She's had some issues in the past that have caused her to be the way that she is. What has caused you to be the way you are? What causes you to accept her abandonment and disrespect? No your paying for the sins of YOUR actions Absolutely. Her exes aren't making you go back for another helping of mistreatment.
Whodatdog Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 When people show you who they are, believe them. She is showing you over and over and over. She isnt going to change. Is that what you want with your life? 1
Frozensushi Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 She's had some issues in the past that have caused her to be the way that she is. I'm paying for some of the sins of hr ex's. Stop making excuses for her bad behavior. I can only imagine how you enable her appalling attitude and behavior. I don't want to lose her. Uh, she sounds terrible. Absolutely terrible. You seem to lack self-respect and have no boundaries with her. You've put this hideous woman on such a high pedestal. You really need to identify what is causing you to continually return for more, over and over again. One more thing. Unfortunately, no one, except you, is going to love and respect her. That's just a fact of life and you are absolutely fooling yourself if you think otherwise. She's repulsive.
elaine567 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I have been off and on with a woman for almost 4 years. And when I say "off and on" I mean that she breaks up with me and we get back together. She's cheated, (she's) lied, She's not always the nicest person to me but... I love her. I even asked her to marry me. She said yes, but then said she hated the way I proposed, (she)hated the ring, and (she) started seeing someone else. What on earth happened in your life to make you accept such awful treatment from her?
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