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I want him to ask me out/ not sure if he's interested

lightie07

By lightie07
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lightie07 New Member

lightie07

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There is that guy I had a one night stand with a few years ago, for a good 2 years he was chasing me and asking out (without success).

 

I didn't want to meet him mostly because I put a little on weight and I didn't feel comfortable. I actually told him about it but he still wanted to meet me, I was too scared, though. Last time he asked me out was about 1,5 years ago (since then I hit the gym and got in shape and everything), we follow each other on instagram (we're both kind of active, but he's more into it, I just post pictures from time to time), I like his posts and he likes mine (so I guess he likes what he sees) but no approach!

 

I mean, if he liked me he would still message me, right? I even messaged him saying he is looking nice and still nothing, not even thank you. The other day, I have messaged just simple "hey" and no response.

 

So, does it mean he's not interested anymore or he's taken?? Should I message him or leave it like that? But I keep thinking and dreaming of him :laugh: Should I ask him out? Or should I ask if he has a gf maybe? I know this is not a real issue but I usually don't approach guys like that... And we've never really been close friends so it's kind of awkward. ��

 

Hehe, I feel like I'm 16 again �� Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated sometimes. :rolleyes::confused::)

Edited by lightie07
phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted

You rejected him multiple times and you expect him to keep trying? :confused:

 

uh-uh. if a woman rejects me twice I will never ask her out again.

It's up to her to ask me out.

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Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
There is that guy I had a one night stand with a few years ago, for a good 2 years he was chasing me and asking out (without success).

 

I didn't want to meet him mostly because I put a little on weight and I didn't feel comfortable. I actually told him about it but he still wanted to meet me, I was too scared, though. Last time he asked me out was about 1,5 years ago (since then I hit the gym and got in shape and everything), we follow each other on instagram (we're both kind of active, but he's more into it, I just post pictures from time to time), I like his posts and he likes mine (so I guess he likes what he sees) but no approach!

 

I mean, if he liked me he would still message me, right? I even messaged him saying he is looking nice and still nothing, not even thank you. The other day, I have messaged just simple "hey" and no response.

 

So, does it mean he's not interested anymore or he's taken?? Should I message him or leave it like that? But I keep thinking and dreaming of him :laugh: Should I ask him out? Or should I ask if he has a gf maybe? I know this is not a real issue but I usually don't approach guys like that... And we've never really been close friends so it's kind of awkward. ��

 

Hehe, I feel like I'm 16 again �� Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated sometimes. :rolleyes::confused::)

 

There is very low interest, for sure. And, remember, you had a one-night stand with this guy. If he did ask you out, and now that you've maybe "chased" him a little, he's likely looking for another ONS with you if he does ask you out. You rejected him a number of times. That had to burn him. He's not likely going to meet you again with respectful intentions.

 

On top of that, when men have come back around after a long time of not seeing them, I've often wondered whether that was a result of not having many options and/or the ones he had were dry at the moment -- desperate. I'm just saying that he's going to be wondering what's up with you.

Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

Posted
Posted

Why on earth would he want to be rejected again? You'll have to face your own fear of rejection and ask him out.

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lightie07 New Member

lightie07

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Why on earth would he want to be rejected again? You'll have to face your own fear of rejection and ask him out.

 

Well, didn't think about that. :) I will message him then :)

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lightie07 New Member

lightie07

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You rejected him multiple times and you expect him to keep trying? :confused:

 

uh-uh. if a woman rejects me twice I will never ask her out again.

It's up to her to ask me out.

 

Would you agree?

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lightie07 New Member

lightie07

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I'm just saying that he's going to be wondering what's up with you.

 

That's for sure :laugh: It's not so difficult to figure out why I wanna see him again. :-) Okay, maybe that's not the main reason but mostly...

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

I think if you said "hey" and he ignored it...that's a rejection. There's a small chance he thinks it's a 'breadcrumb' ie you're just messing with him for attention. The only way you will find out if that's the case is by being more direct and facing a more direct rejection. This guy is probably not going to ask you out again, so you have to take action if anything is to come of it.

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planb1973 Established Member

planb1973

Posted
Posted

I roll my eyes and ignore any message that is just "Hey" Its weak and a bit passive. If you have something to say then say it. You rejected him more than once, he's done. I would be more direct, and therefor take you more seriously.

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phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
Would you agree?

 

It depends on why she changed her mind.

I would ask and i'd expect a non-BS answer.

 

I've had women who decided online dating was a better option than me and end up with some real scumbags then hit me up out of the blue.

No thanks.

 

I've had women who rejected me then were interested after i lost 40lbs.

IF they didn't play games or flake on me i'd hear them out and give them a chance but the effort will be on them 100% until i can trust they arn't just looking for my attention.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Well, first, be sure that all the photos you're posting on Instagram are from the last month or so so he can at least see whether he is attracted or not. I am not sure why he's liking stuff but not responding, but maybe he just follows a lot of people or maybe has a girlfriend or maybe just thinks of you as a friendly acquaintance or worse, a notch on his belt.

 

But don't set yourself up for hurt by posting anything but very current photos. I realize there's other reasons you like other photos that are legit, but when it's posted where someone might date you, save embarrassment by being very clear what you look like now, because seems like neither men nor women are at all forgiving or flexible about it these days.

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