Danielsbrokenheart Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Hello guys, i'm 19 years old and i have been in a LDR relationship for around 8 months. Around 19 december we saw each other for the second time, and i stayed at her home for a week and everything went pretty and awesome. We both had the time of our lives, no fighting at all, just love and love.. everything was really perfect, from kissing to anything. But prior to that, she never really gave me much attention and i felt being played by her since she only had a limited time to talk to me or sometimes even ignored me. But all of that changed when i came back home from my trip to her, she was lovesick and she was crying for a couple of days because she missed me but a few days after that... it was completely gone. She became what she was before, i felt used as a doormat. She went back to ignoring me, going out with her friends and basically not making enough time for me. And if she had time i would have to beg her to make time for me and it all felt so fake. 3 Weeks after my trip i got sick of how she was treating me, and i called her and told her if she cannot change this i will break up with her and then she started to talk about my flaws and how unsatisfied she is.. How she needs a boyfriend all the time because she sees other girls with their boyfriends, and such attention type of stuff. We both agreed LDR was hard, but we both said we would do it and work for each other... in the end it was all me, it was so one sided that i just couldn't do it anymore. So we got into a argument how her school and parents won't let her make time (which is utter bull****) and then i realized she doesn't truly love me.. because if she did she would make time for me, and not go on facebook and talk to her friends for instance when she has time to talk to me. So i told her it would be the best for us to break up so she can focus on her goals in her life if she can't prioritize me because in the end all it would do is make me wait and wait and wait and wait, i prioritized her.. i go to uni in amsterdam and she goes to school and yet i have more time than her (i go to the gym and have a puppy also). I put her as my first priority in life, worked a couple of jobs to have money to go and see her on a trip. I was crazy in love, and still am.. I still love her with all of my heart, and i felt betrayed. I put a lot of money, time and effort into this relationship and how she blew it away amazes me.. A few days after the break up she kept crying and calling me why we can't just stay friends till the time is right (aka put me on the backburner while she goes party, kiss and **** other guys and have me as a backup plan) because she knows i would do anything for her.. she just was using me. Then i ignored her for a couple of days and told her that i need to block her off of everything, unless she wants to make everything right and give me more time and not just be there when shes free.. "10" minutes before she goes to sleep.. And she said she can't do that, so i said this is it. Then she got angry and told me that she has 3 exs now and how i treated her like **** and that she can't do that because she doesn't feel like "i'm the one" and how she was "never in love with me" and that she just played me for a while. So i got angry and swore at her and told her to **** her self and never ever contact me.. I also told her how she could look me in the eye, kiss me and tell me she loves me? Cry in each others arms that she loves me? Cry at the airport that she loves me and actually doesn't want me to go home? And then she says she doesn't love me? How can a woman be so heartless? I'm really broken, and i have been crying every single day since the break up (3 weeks ago) And since the fight where i swore at her she basically is ignoring me, saying im filthy and stuff and eventually i did apologize to her that i hurt her by saying nasty words to her and that she should put her feet in my shoes and see how it would feel. Basically i'm so broken at this point that i don't know what to do, she kept saying after our big last fight that shes talking to other men and she never ever felt something for me and that kind of bull****. She just wants to hurt me the way i hurt her, and being immature and telling how such good times she had with other men etc etc... and that she never was "attached" to me and thats why its so easy for her to move on I just want to know, how could i be played for such a long time? I should of deleted her a long time ago and not spent 2000 euros on a trip to her and treat her like a queen.. I was stupid. Now i'm broken, felt used, lovesick and everything while she has fun with another dude and me here crying because i lost a lot of money, time and effort in something that turns out like this.
umirano Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 I was stupid. Now i'm broken, felt used, lovesick and everything while she has fun with another dude and me here crying because i lost a lot of money, time and effort in something that turns out like this. All right. Stop all of that. It's water under the bridge. Sunk costs. No amount of self pity and regret will change what happened. You've learned your lesson. Now pick yourself up and get back on the horse. You're not alone. Men and women of all walks of life go through bad relationships with terrible break ups. Sometimes not until they're in their 50s. Others never get into relationships all though they really want. No one is always truly happy with their love life. Most people are probably happy about 50% of the time, that's a fairly decent quota in my experience. Right now you're on a down swing. The next up will come. Just keep going. Congratulations on exiting a bad relationship. Now look forward. 1
amurb Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Hello guys, i'm 19 years old and i have been in a LDR relationship for around 8 months. Around 19 december we saw each other for the second time, and i stayed at her home for a week and everything went pretty and awesome. We both had the time of our lives, no fighting at all, just love and love.. everything was really perfect, from kissing to anything. But prior to that, she never really gave me much attention and i felt being played by her since she only had a limited time to talk to me or sometimes even ignored me. But all of that changed when i came back home from my trip to her, she was lovesick and she was crying for a couple of days because she missed me but a few days after that... it was completely gone. She became what she was before, i felt used as a doormat. She went back to ignoring me, going out with her friends and basically not making enough time for me. And if she had time i would have to beg her to make time for me and it all felt so fake. 3 Weeks after my trip i got sick of how she was treating me, and i called her and told her if she cannot change this i will break up with her and then she started to talk about my flaws and how unsatisfied she is.. How she needs a boyfriend all the time because she sees other girls with their boyfriends, and such attention type of stuff. We both agreed LDR was hard, but we both said we would do it and work for each other... in the end it was all me, it was so one sided that i just couldn't do it anymore. So we got into a argument how her school and parents won't let her make time (which is utter bull****) and then i realized she doesn't truly love me.. because if she did she would make time for me, and not go on facebook and talk to her friends for instance when she has time to talk to me. So i told her it would be the best for us to break up so she can focus on her goals in her life if she can't prioritize me because in the end all it would do is make me wait and wait and wait and wait, i prioritized her.. i go to uni in amsterdam and she goes to school and yet i have more time than her (i go to the gym and have a puppy also). I put her as my first priority in life, worked a couple of jobs to have money to go and see her on a trip. I was crazy in love, and still am.. I still love her with all of my heart, and i felt betrayed. I put a lot of money, time and effort into this relationship and how she blew it away amazes me.. A few days after the break up she kept crying and calling me why we can't just stay friends till the time is right (aka put me on the backburner while she goes party, kiss and **** other guys and have me as a backup plan) because she knows i would do anything for her.. she just was using me. Then i ignored her for a couple of days and told her that i need to block her off of everything, unless she wants to make everything right and give me more time and not just be there when shes free.. "10" minutes before she goes to sleep.. And she said she can't do that, so i said this is it. Then she got angry and told me that she has 3 exs now and how i treated her like **** and that she can't do that because she doesn't feel like "i'm the one" and how she was "never in love with me" and that she just played me for a while. So i got angry and swore at her and told her to **** her self and never ever contact me.. I also told her how she could look me in the eye, kiss me and tell me she loves me? Cry in each others arms that she loves me? Cry at the airport that she loves me and actually doesn't want me to go home? And then she says she doesn't love me? How can a woman be so heartless? I'm really broken, and i have been crying every single day since the break up (3 weeks ago) And since the fight where i swore at her she basically is ignoring me, saying im filthy and stuff and eventually i did apologize to her that i hurt her by saying nasty words to her and that she should put her feet in my shoes and see how it would feel. Basically i'm so broken at this point that i don't know what to do, she kept saying after our big last fight that shes talking to other men and she never ever felt something for me and that kind of bull****. She just wants to hurt me the way i hurt her, and being immature and telling how such good times she had with other men etc etc... and that she never was "attached" to me and thats why its so easy for her to move on I just want to know, how could i be played for such a long time? I should of deleted her a long time ago and not spent 2000 euros on a trip to her and treat her like a queen.. I was stupid. Now i'm broken, felt used, lovesick and everything while she has fun with another dude and me here crying because i lost a lot of money, time and effort in something that turns out like this. I'm sorry your going through this. Take a step back and look at things through fresh perspective. Don't make a decision about anything based on feelings. Good luck to you.
Author Danielsbrokenheart Posted February 7, 2017 Author Posted February 7, 2017 (edited) Out of the blue she messages me yesterday night and starts attacking me: She kept trying to hurt me, she said that i have small hands and that im tiny (shes 1,59m and i'm 1,79m) and funny part is my penis size is actually above average too (7,2") then she kept saying she has a new dude with also a huge dick and that it can't get bigger than that and it could choke her to death. She also said that i have a bad posture when i sit down and that i have greasy hair (i use wax, it might look greasy?) and she said her body "repels" me and that i smell like sweat (even though she kept telling her mum how great i smell and that my fragrance smells really good and she kept sniffing me when we cuddled which was super creepy). She also said im a bad kisser, even though she kept ramming her tongue inside my mouth. And to end it all up she eventually said she was the one who broke up our relationship and that i wasn't the one, even though i broke up and she cried upon me leaving. Then she kept saying she found a new dude that she truly loves and how she never ever loved me, and that she's finally "happy". Before she eventually blocked me she said i need to follow psychotherapy. I guess she said all of this to hurt my feelings cause i broke up with her.. Sigh, to even think i loved her.. My feelings have gone for her and so did my respect. I'm certainly not an insecure person, i gym everyday and i'm quite shredded (sixpack and all at around 8% body fat 68kg). About that i'm tiny, who gives a ****. 1,79m is quite tall compared to other men, even though i live in holland i'm most of the time the tallest around men and woman. And for my hands, i really don't give a **** if they are small or not. They're big enough to slap her some sense. **** immature girls, like i'm so sorry for my self to even waste my time and money on a girl like this. Edited February 7, 2017 by Danielsbrokenheart
Recommended Posts