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Recurring theme of 'no spark'


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Posted
She's not attracted to you in person and is trying to say it in a nice way.

 

If this is a recurring theme for you then you must seem more awesome "on paper" than in real life, leaving people disappointed after the meeting. This can happen easily if you spend too much time interacting virtually before actually meeting.

 

It's not possible to gauge attraction online, so try to meet someone as soon as you are confident he or she isn't a serial killer. It prevents letting unreasonable fantasies develop.

 

To me spark is nothing more than a strong mutual attraction.

 

 

Suppose so, she was still calling me cutie and liking my instagram selfie pictures after the date but maybe i'm not as attractive in person ? I still think I screwed up by just not escalating at all so I was immediately friend zoned, something I could confidently And easily rectify on a second chance if I had the chance which seems like won't happen from what she said. :/

Posted

To me, I have to feel that spark. I go home happy/a little giddy (beyond any possible wine) after the date. I have to be physically attracted to the guy to want to have sex with him (at some point) AND have a good conversation that's funny and shows he's interested in getting to know me.

 

I'm not saying you didn't have a good conversation with her, but "spark" means different things for different people. The above is what it means to me, and sometimes a girl is just "eh" about a date ("eh/nope" for me is: he asked me about bumble/how it's treating me, talks about "how long it's been" since he dated, complains about all his friends being married/kids, swears too much, doesn't seem educated, no real interests, no ambition)

 

Too much texting before meeting up for the first time can conjure up a false image about someone and then you're let down when they don't live up to whatever was conjured up.

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