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Why is my friend controlling my love life?


beachlover_96

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beachlover_96

My friend that I knew for a few months is telling me how to live my life. She asks if I'm seeing any guys and I tell her that I am and I tell her that I'm hooking up with these guys I'm seeing and she told me that I shouldn't be dating several guys and hooking up with them right away but I really want to continue hooking up and dating different guys and seeing them because I want to live my life the way I want to and not the way she wants me to. When me and her hang out, she doesn't want me bringing any guys that I'm dating. She told me to focus on school and not focus on guys but the thing is, I want to date guys and focus on school. I want to continue dating guys and focus on school at the same time. What should I do about my friend controlling my love life?

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she may be right if your schoolwork slides

 

but, dominant people perceive something in their target that makes them a candidate for control, am short, often pushed around

 

maybe there is something about you that she perceives too

 

keep out of her life if she does not listen to you, you have no choice, tbh

 

spoiler alert, they tend not to want to be left, they get insistent, so keep your assertion skills at the ready, just repeat the word "no" to her requests til she hears you

Edited by darkmoon
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How exactly is she controlling your life? By offering her opinion? Is she forcing you to take her advice?

 

If you don't like unsolicited advice, ignore it. If you don't like her, stop being friends with her.

 

As for your choices, we live with the consequences of our choices in life.

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My friend that I knew for a few months is telling me how to live my life. She asks if I'm seeing any guys and I tell her that I am and I tell her that I'm hooking up with these guys I'm seeing and she told me that I shouldn't be dating several guys and hooking up with them right away but I really want to continue hooking up and dating different guys and seeing them because I want to live my life the way I want to and not the way she wants me to. When me and her hang out, she doesn't want me bringing any guys that I'm dating. She told me to focus on school and not focus on guys but the thing is, I want to date guys and focus on school. I want to continue dating guys and focus on school at the same time. What should I do about my friend controlling my love life?

I don't see where she is controlling anything since you keep being the college's lambda promiscuous girl.

 

But she is clearly disaprooving of your sleeping around with whomever.

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It sounds like she is losing respect for you.

 

You can do whatever you want...she's not telling you what to do but offering what I'd call good advice.

 

You will do as you will ...and should, but i wouldn't be surprised if she drops you because your lifestyles may be too different.

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Well, I would say you shouldn't make plans with her and then bring a date along. That isn't right. Then she feels like a third wheel.

 

Other than that, stop telling her what you do and just keep her in the dark and separated from your hooking up times.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Based off your posting history - maybe she just has your best interest in mind?

 

I see that you are 20, living at home, your parents seem concerned about you, and do not want you to have Tinder etc. You claim you want Tinder because you are looking for a relationship - yet you have posts wondering why guys have ditched out when it was very clear you were planning on sex with them on the first meeting.

 

That doesn't really sound like you are looking for a relationship, but rather to have sex with guys you just met online.

 

Maybe she finds things like this concerning:

 

I went out to lunch with a guy that I just met online. We went out to lunch on our date. I asked if I can go over his house after we eat lunch and he agreed to....

 

I asked to go over his house because I wanted to hook up with him

 

Look. I have no problem with casual sex. Just make sure you are being SMART about it. Like maybe getting to know someone a bit more than one lunch before trying to have sex with them. Improve your communication skills and ability to read people - you seem confused by pretty blanant actions. Like if you ask to have sex with a guy, and he looks at his phone and says "gotta go" that's a pretty big hint he isn't into you.

 

I am not going to chalk this up to jealousy. It's pretty easy for college girls to get laid. Just be smart about it.

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