Pinkbutterfly941 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Hey I stumbled across this on google and realised this is the perfect place for me to be. Last night/tonight my ex officially ended it. (I need to say that we're 4 states away from each other & both late 30's.) We'd been on & off for MONTHS. Stopped talking/NC for weeks at times, but always came back to each other. I started talking to someone else in December, (I'll call him S) and although it was just messaging it did put a smile on my face. On New Years Day my ex called me and asked if I was prepared to give this one more go. He invited me to his, said we'd chat, iron out all the problems and move forward together. I agreed. I spent last weekend with my ex, yes, it was good. On the Thursday night I got there we both went to a bar got drunk. He told me that he still cared, in a huge way. S rang to find out if I was in a bar in my town as he was heading there with a few friends. My ex answered the phone while I was at the bar and told S that he needs to back off as I'm "his girl" and he's not having anyone else talking to me. When I left my ex, he asked to see me again this weekend. I agreed and drove back home smiling. Anyway, long story short. My ex messaged me on Tuesday & told me that was it. We can't go any further. His heart is saying no & he's sorry if he led me on at any point during the weekend. He also said what he said when he was drunk was 'all sh*t' because he was too drunk for it to mean anything He messaged me yesterday. We had a text argument lasting from 1pm - 10.30 last night! It went on & on. He said he cares, but not in the way I want him too, he's moving on and so should I. So I told him I had, but he put an end to that! I sent my ex a message from S saying what my ex said on the phone to S. He said (& this is an actual message from my ex) "Already told you that I don't remember anything so it's all sh*t!!! Just shows you what he really thinks of you. He's a moron!!!" We went around in circles for hours. But occasionally my ex would say something like "it's just best we don't see each other. That's all " At one point he said "I knew it was a bad idea!" (Seeing me) So I put "YOU were the one who invited me to stay at yours. I would never have invited myself to stay with you' His reply "Do it. Anytime. You know you can." S has now blocked me on everything and refuses to speak to me as he says that my ex was sober enough to warn him off therefore that means there's something there. My ex ended last nights messages with "you care too much about me, that's exactly why nothing can happen!" So now I feel rubbish about myself. I've blocked my ex on everything and deleted all social media. I just don't know where else to go from here? We've been backwards and forwards so many times now, but I'm actually really really sad that this time it's done for good.
AT15 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Your ex is not stable. Would you do and say those things? No one in a healthy productive state of mind would do those things. The problem isn't with you, it's with him. Please don't allow him to drag you along on his emotional roller coaster rides. Give yourself mental space. I know you're searching for an explanation, but you can't make sense out of something that doesn't make sense.
elaine567 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Seems he probably got all nostalgic and maudlin over the holiday, maybe a bit horny, maybe another relationship/date/crush didn't work out, maybe he just had a panic about you finding someone else, and on New Years day decided he would call you up. Maybe he even planned it to sabotage your burgeoning relationship with S. (Some men may not want you for themselves but are determined no-one else will have you.) BUT after the weekend, he changed his mind and went back into "this will never work" mode. There may be plenty of reasons for that, from his crush now showing some interest, to a genuine feeling that you are NOT "the one" for him, but whatever the reason you need to accept it is over YOU cannot afford to waste time with a guy who is at best wishy washy about you and who changes his mind like the weather. He has told you to move on, listen to him, and just do it. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 You are not rubbish. A relationship ended. It happens. The relationship had been over for months & you know it. This just makes it official & that is sad. You are allowed to mourn. You can even on Feb 14. But there's nothing to feel bad about yourself for. Be happy you have finality. You had this other guy who made you happy by just talking. Now that you are free to date imagine how great a new romance will feel.
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