kunaka1000 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Hie I have been with my girlfriend for a year now its long distance but same country. for the past week weve had not sure if its a fight or misunderstanding but things havent been same.started when i suggested that i come see her since she couldnt cause of work its been 5 months now since i saw her, and she got angry because she told me she would make a plan before and thought i was being impatient or wasnt listening but was just suggesting. weve talked during the week but its been full of heartache mostly cause she's been easily irritable having attitude towards me. So i stopped talking to her went almost two days and she called last night she was now calm her normal self but emotional and we talked and felt shes didnt think she can make me happy cause of the fights we have and maybe we need space from each other but she didnt want to breakup or any of this and we talked and i explained to her and we sort of worked things out and i asked her so many questions if she loved me? wanted to still be with me? wanted this relationship? she all answered Yes but i just feel im forcing this on her i love this woman so much shes changed me and honestly dont want to lose her but i dont want to be with someone that feels forced or scared to tell me the truth because she will hurt me and i keep thinking that i would like any advise on everything what to do.
GemmaUK Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 felt shes didnt think she can make me happy cause of the fights we have What fights do you have? It sounds like she is the only in trouble with you if she Is saying she can't make you happy. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 If she can't come to you due to work commitments & you offered to come to her because you miss her after 5 months and that caused a fight, I'd say don't waste the money on travel because this woman only likes being in a relationship with you in theory, not reality. A woman in love would have been jumping for joy that her guy was willing to travel to her. This business about her not being sure she can make you happy, is bs. She simply doesn't have the backbone to tell you the truth, that this relationship has no future. Cut your losses. Explain that you too think the distance damaged things beyond repair. Wish her well but end this. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 If she can't come to you due to work commitments & you offered to come to her because you miss her after 5 months and that caused a fight, I'd say don't waste the money on travel because this woman only likes being in a relationship with you in theory, not reality. A woman in love would have been jumping for joy that her guy was willing to travel to her. This business about her not being sure she can make you happy, is bs. She simply doesn't have the backbone to tell you the truth, that this relationship has no future. Cut your losses. Explain that you too think the distance damaged things beyond repair. Wish her well but end this. This and that she could be hiding something...her response was a NO-confidence vote for the relationship, I'm afraid.
Author kunaka1000 Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 What fights do you have? It sounds like she is the only in trouble with you if she Is saying she can't make you happy. Thank u all for the reply she has had issues with her temper but weve been workin on it and its been better, usually we fight about 90% mostly because she is insecure but not only her i also have my moment cause we both are scared of losing each other one thing ive noticed. and she usually has this problem of misinterpreting and assuming things what i may say and it becomes an issue because u try explain but already she'll would have made up her mind and her emotional side comes out its hard to make things normal and i always try correct her so all these times shes assumes at shes always causing problem.
Author kunaka1000 Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 If she can't come to you due to work commitments & you offered to come to her because you miss her after 5 months and that caused a fight, I'd say don't waste the money on travel because this woman only likes being in a relationship with you in theory, not reality. A woman in love would have been jumping for joy that her guy was willing to travel to her. This business about her not being sure she can make you happy, is bs. She simply doesn't have the backbone to tell you the truth, that this relationship has no future. Cut your losses. Explain that you too think the distance damaged things beyond repair. Wish her well but end this. thank you for you reply shes has a daughter and currently staying with a family shes rents a room in there house so shes says its hard and complicated because its a family home and wouldnt feel free having me locked up in a room while shes at work i wanted to suggest maybe booking a B&B for somedays but its a no starter just cause more problems
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Something is very wrong here. If I had not seen my boyfriend in 5 months and he offered to fly to me and book separate accommodations, I would be thrilled and so touched. The fact that she is the exact opposite is very telling. Add to that her telling you that she's worried she can't make you happy? She's on her way out of this relationship. Have you been to visit her before? Where did you stay?
Redhead14 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 (edited) Hie I have been with my girlfriend for a year now its long distance but same country. for the past week weve had not sure if its a fight or misunderstanding but things havent been same.started when i suggested that i come see her since she couldnt cause of work its been 5 months now since i saw her, and she got angry because she told me she would make a plan before and thought i was being impatient or wasnt listening but was just suggesting. weve talked during the week but its been full of heartache mostly cause she's been easily irritable having attitude towards me. So i stopped talking to her went almost two days and she called last night she was now calm her normal self but emotional and we talked and felt shes didnt think she can make me happy cause of the fights we have and maybe we need space from each other but she didnt want to breakup or any of this and we talked and i explained to her and we sort of worked things out and i asked her so many questions if she loved me? wanted to still be with me? wanted this relationship? she all answered Yes but i just feel im forcing this on her i love this woman so much shes changed me and honestly dont want to lose her but i dont want to be with someone that feels forced or scared to tell me the truth because she will hurt me and i keep thinking that i would like any advise on everything what to do. maybe we need space -- SPACE!!!! You have not seen her in 5 months!!! When someone tells me they want space, I become NASA. They can contact Houston when they figure out/resolve what their problem is. If they take too long, they may find that they do not have a place to land their aircraft, assuming they do want to land. Given the circumstances, I'd say, she's going to use the "space" to move on. You should too. You aren't forcing her into anything. She's trying to force you to break up with her. Space is often a "sabotage" tactic. "I can't end it, but I want to, so I'll just do something that will make you so unhappy as to cause you to end it. You do the dirty work, ok?" She wants space, let her get Lost in Space. Edited January 28, 2017 by Redhead14
honeybeesunrise Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 The other posters could be right, this could be a bad sign for your relationship, but I think this could easily be a misunderstanding. Did you know that men and women actually speak and think and rationalize very differently? Its truly like you are speaking different languages. But what you each are trying to say is that you (the man) want to feel respected and she wants to feel loved. You can learn to speak each other's languages if you want to. I don't know how you feel about faith/religion, but there is a great book I would recommend if you are not adverse to getting this advice from a christian author. The book is Called Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. I read it a year ago and it was very eye opening. If you want to save your relationship, this could really help. I pray that you and her find peace no matter what happens.
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