DarkyBoy Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Hey all, Looking for a bit of advice... So recently I met this girl, she is 23 and I am 25... We have been on 3 dates and I have yet to make a move and kiss her. I am a nice guy, always caring and respectful and I do not want to come across like all I am looking for is a quick hook up. She is a very closed girl, she doesn't give much away because she has been hurt in the past by guys and so now she has a pretty big barrier up. When we first met, I took her to a nice restaurant in London, dinner lasted about 3 hours, we were talking and talking, which was cool because on the way to the restaurant whilst we were in my car, she told me she doesn't talk much and is more of a listener, but she was constantly taking to me, so I saw this as a good sign. After a good first date, I just dropped her home. Now she has told me that she does not have many girl friends and hangs out and gets on with guys a lot better as she finds them more loyal as mates. She hasn't been in a relationship for 3 years and says that she hasn't dated much. She said she never dates but went on a date with me because I was cute, charming and approached her differently than most guys. From my side, because she has a lot of male friends, I do not want to get friend zoned... so I purely take her out, then wait for her to reach out to me by text and then I just arrange the next date to meet, I don't want to act like all of her other male friends... I really like her. Date 2 and we went out for dinner again. This time we were talking about our first date, she told me how comfortable she felt around me and that she was so surprised how she was just talking to me constantly. On our first date I told her I didn't like girls that were fake, as in fake hair, eyelashes etc... I like natural girls. On the 2nd date, she mentioned that she got her 'Breasts Enlarged' when she was 21 for confidence boost. I said, it doesn't bother me. She said, well you said you don't like girls that are fake... So to me, this was another sign that she was not trying to be my friend, otherwise she wouldn't have brought up what I said I liked in a girl. After the date; I took her home and we just chatted in my car. She said she was tired and so I expected her to just get out, but she didn't leave and just kept talking and talking to me. I wanted to make a move, but am afraid of getting rejected, or coming across like I'm a bit of a lad... She knows I'm not, she said so herself. As I arranged the first 2 dates, it was her turn to arrange the 3rd, we went to dinner and then to the Theatre. Dinner was great, we always get on and she told me that I even seemed more comfortable around her. She was now sharing my drink and would challenge me to guess what she would have for dinner to see how well I know her. Anyway, after a great night, I dropped her back again. This time she stayed in my car for an hour and a half and we were chatting about her and why she is so closed. I told her she was really hard to read and didn't show much emotion. She she gets told that all the time. She told me she really likes being with me and then went... 'pheww that was hard to say', which to me was an indication that she liked me and that was her way of saying it whilst protecting herself. As we were talking about previous relationships, I didn't want to just make a move, so I didn't, even though she was leaning closer to me than usual, but didn't touch me or have any physical contact, so just hugged. As she left, I said if she was free tomorrow, she could come to mine. I then realised that on our first date, she said she didn't like guys that just ask her to go to their place. So when I got home I dropped her a message saying that I like her, but she doesn't give much away so I don't want to force anything on her and told her she doesn't have to come over if she doesn't want to. She responded saying I was different and she would be completely comfortable with coming to mine. Next day, she said she wanted to come over for a movie night, but didn't feel well and so I told her we could meet next week instead, which she replied.. I will always be free. How does this seem to you guys? We have seen each other 3 times in 2 weeks.. Should I have made my move by now? I really don't want to be another one of her guy mates. We met on Instagram and so where never friends and have only met for dates... Am I playing it right, as she seems like she is starting to open up to me more without showing all of her cards... I don't want her to feel like I'm not into her or for her to lose interest in me or think i just want to be friends. Should I of just 'man'd up' and gone in for this kiss, or is showing respect, taking my time and then making a move when she is at my place or something a better way? Have I ruined my chances? Thanks...
Sara1989 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 You are way overthinking this, she has guy friends so why would she keep agreeing to dates if you were going to be friend zoned. I say she has been waiting for you to make a move, hanging about in your car is indication of that. "we were chatting about her and why she is so closed. I told her she was really hard to read and didn't show much emotion" Did you really have to tell her that? cringe, from what I read she seemed be quite open with you. IF you get a fourth date...man 4th date and no kiss? you better go for the kiss or SHE will write you off. 1
hercules22 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 yep when you expect her to leave again and she waits to stall and talk about random stuff just kiss her get the awkwardness out of the way then u will start to kiss each other more often
BaileyB Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 She's giving you all the signs that she likes you, go for the kiss on the next date. Good luck!
lionlover1973 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 How does this seem to you guys? We have seen each other 3 times in 2 weeks.. Should I have made my move by now? I really don't want to be another one of her guy mates. We met on Instagram and so where never friends and have only met for dates... Am I playing it right, as she seems like she is starting to open up to me more without showing all of her cards... I don't want her to feel like I'm not into her or for her to lose interest in me or think i just want to be friends. Should I of just 'man'd up' and gone in for this kiss, or is showing respect, taking my time and then making a move when she is at my place or something a better way? Have I ruined my chances? Thanks... She sounds interested romantically but may be confused by your actions, or lack thereof. Sometimes people take a step back when he/she feels vulnerable and it comes off as 'guarded'. Put it this way, if she considered you only in a platonic manner, there is no risk involved. She would have no reason to be guarded because you don't pose a threat to her emotionally. Let it happen naturally. If you feel like kissing her, kiss her... Don't hold back.
honeybeesunrise Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Should I of just 'man'd up' and gone in for this kiss, or is showing respect, taking my time and then making a move when she is at my place or something a better way? Have I ruined my chances? I certainly don't think you are wrong or at risk of being "friend zoned" for waiting to kiss her. It seems like she is interested, and her interest is growing. You will know when the time is right, but even if you judge incorrectly I don't think you'll send her running to the hills. You could even talk about how you feel. Tell you that you want to kiss her but not offend her, and see what she says. You sound like a respectful guy. Best of luck.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 OP, baby steps. Go to a museum or something and when you're walking around, bump your hand into hers and grab it. If she squeezes back you're good. Honestly start anywhere, get her comfortable with you touching her, and at the end of the night, go in for the kiss. Depending on the date activity and if you have somewhat privacy, you can always kiss her during the date as well, but it's a bit riskier since she might not be expecting it. Good luck.
Jj66 Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 You haven't ruined a thing yet, but you do need to kiss her soon.
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