Ex boyfriend of almost 4 years unfollows me out of no where months later..why?

[Britt Michelle]

This has been the longest 2 months of my life. I've been with my ex for almost 4 years and we finally called it quits when neither one of us would change. We weren't clicking like we use to. He's the only guy I met who had so much in common with me but now so much resentment between us has built up we couldn't get back where we were. We were a huge part of each other's lives. I admit I'm still in love with him but I don't really want him back on these terms. Its like losing a family member or someone who was with you everyday. All of that has changed. I do miss him and wanted to make it work but I'm slowly healing and moving on with my life. Can't dwell on something I cannot change:( . I still wanted him apart of my life in some form so i didn't block him. I know it's somewhat small and tedious (being friends on social media) but I thought maybe one day we would get over it and at least be friendly towards another. I've lost some hope of that today as I got an alert from an app on my phone that he unfollowed me. He know's I have the app so he know i will see it. He has the app as well. I haven't heard from him since maybe mid December after we broke up November 26th. He apologized for the things he said in the heat of the moment and said he'll always be a friend but I guess not. Last time, he was just asking me for different things. I haven't talked to him or even posted anything to poke at him. I've distracted myself with my work and promoting myself on instagram. Question is why now? Why unfollow me NOW? Why not just block me completely and unfriend me on Facebook as well if you want me out of your life? he's blocked me on everything before so why not do it again. Why just instagram? I felt it was the best thing to do by ignoring him and his new girlfriend he jumped in a relationship with immediately after breaking up with me. He JUST met her. They're even living together already. Its CRAZY but enough about "them", back to me

 

I also didn't unfollow him because he'll see it and I didn't want to show him he got to me as much as I wanted to unfollow him at times because it felt almost unbearable for me to scroll and see him and his new gf. He would post a picture doing things or of them talking about things we use to talk about.

 

He's post video of him taking her somewhere we'd always go, a video of them singing our song or post a status that he likes about her which distinctly was what he gave me a hard time about in our relationship. (I.e I'd always invite him to church and most of the time he'd not come but he posted a status about loving a woman who invites him to church but doesn't like going)

 

BUT I tried to just give him the benefit of the doubt and say to myself he must be really happy/in love and just maybe just love being in love or love the certain place and song and to stop making it about me.... which helps me move on I guess. Sometimes I felt like he did it to provoke a reaction out of me ...(usually I was the one who would react but I've learned a lot of self-control this time apart. I do not react at all. When I see him in public I walk past him like he never existed)

 

I'm trying to see what are the possible reasons for doing this. What's your perspective? Why unfollow your ex on instagram but not block me? To get my attention because he know's I'll see it? To poke at me again because I haven't given any reaction? To not see my pictures but has no problem with me seeing what he's up to? Why not block me on everything like He's done before?

[d0nnivain]

It doesn't matter. He's an EX. Perhaps he has a new SO who doesn't like it.

[Gus Grimly]

You need to move on with your life, and stop putting so much energy into a past relationship.

 

You should block him and go NC, that way you won't be tempted to spy on him, which is exactly what you are doing.

[Whodatdog]

Good grief stop with all the wondering about him. He surely isnt wondering about you. He's moved on. You need to too.

[Satu]

He's moved on.

 

So should you.

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete him from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.

 

Take care.

[ExpatInItaly]

His girlfriend might have asked him to do it.

 

And he clearly needed to; you're spending too much time and emotional energy keeping updated on them. You should know essentially nothing about them.

 

Your future, healed self with thank him for doing this. It will help you to finally accept that this relationship is over.