I want to establish a relationship with a girl I just met

January 27, 2017

I just met her in the beach and took her number then i texted her at night said "how she doing"

and she responded that she was at dinner with her friend and she just got back home and she asked

me "what about youself then i said i did the same with getting dinner with a friend and got back

home while ago. then i shoot another text said "My dog say hi" because when i met her she asked

me about my dog name so i thought it was sweet to say that then i asked her if she like the beach.

So she did not text me back after this last text since last night till now so its like 13 hours. So did i make anything wrong? does it weird to say my dog say hi? or do you like the beach?

January 27, 2017

So did i make anything wrong? does it weird to say my dog say hi? or do you like the beach?

Yes, you did. You got her number, Good job. The next step was to set up a date which you failed to do. Guys do what you did all the time and they end up in the friend zone or get Ghosted.

So yeah, next time, make sure you set up a date and ease up on the goofy stuff.

January 27, 2017

Yes, you did. You got her number, Good job. The next step was to set up a date which you failed to do. Guys do what you did all the time and they end up in the friend zone or get Ghosted.

So yeah, next time, make sure you set up a date and ease up on the goofy stuff.

hey, I just start the Conv last night and i just text 2 times thats it and she texted one time. and when i took the number we talked about making friends since me and her new in america.

my question is when i told her "my dog say hi" is that something stupid to say or its cute? Also I want to start the conv again and i do not know what to say since she did not respond to my last tex?

Edited January 27, 2017 by simpleman2017

January 27, 2017

I would suggest you ease back on your expectations. You say you want a relationship with this girl you just met. Simpleman, you barely know her - so how can you know you want a relationship? You may soon find out that she's a complete nutter.

Just focus on getting to know her. Don't think further ahead than this until you figure out if she's worth dating.

January 27, 2017

I would suggest you ease back on your expectations. You say you want a relationship with this girl you just met. Simpleman, you barely know her - so how can you know you want a relationship? You may soon find out that she's a complete nutter.

Just focus on getting to know her. Don't think further ahead than this until you figure out if she's worth dating.

You are right and thats what i meant. and i thought to have a relationship with her because she is good looking and pretty hot. and when i said i want a relationship with her thats not mean i would marry her but i like her and i want to go further with her to see if she worth it or not.

all i need to know if my last text about that dog saying hi to her is something an inappropriate to say?

January 27, 2017

What do you mean by "establish a relationship?"

It's way too early for exclusivity. You haven't even gone on a date.

It's only been 13 hours since you last had contact; probably more now. I don't know where you are but it's Friday night here. Do NOT text her.

The exception being if you already have plans to do something cool on Saturday & it's unquestionably a group activity, you can send a causal invitation for her & her friends to join. For example: "Hey, my friends & I are doing [xyz] tomorrow around [insert time] come by with your friends & check it out. I'd love to see you!" But after that if she doesn't respond leave it be.

I would wait until Sunday afternoon & call her (not text, use your voice, but you can send a text asking if you can call). When you get her on the phone set a timer for 5 minutes. Yes I'm serious. You don't want to have a long drawn out conversation. Mystery is a good thing.

After the preliminary hello how are you, point blank ask her on a date. Have a plan, a time, a place, be definitive. Since you met her at the beach say something like would you like to meet with me on Wednesday at 6 p.m. at [fill in the blank] bar for a drink or at [blank] ice cream parlor if that is more your style, even mini golf.

Start dating her before you press for a relationship.

January 28, 2017

yeah that wont happen need to see each other first . she will have zero feeling for you at this stage only attraction and you both dont know each other try get a date and see where things go

January 28, 2017

What do you mean by "establish a relationship?"

It's way too early for exclusivity. You haven't even gone on a date.

It's only been 13 hours since you last had contact; probably more now. I don't know where you are but it's Friday night here. Do NOT text her.

The exception being if you already have plans to do something cool on Saturday & it's unquestionably a group activity, you can send a causal invitation for her & her friends to join. For example: "Hey, my friends & I are doing [xyz] tomorrow around [insert time] come by with your friends & check it out. I'd love to see you!" But after that if she doesn't respond leave it be.

I would wait until Sunday afternoon & call her (not text, use your voice, but you can send a text asking if you can call). When you get her on the phone set a timer for 5 minutes. Yes I'm serious. You don't want to have a long drawn out conversation. Mystery is a good thing.

After the preliminary hello how are you, point blank ask her on a date. Have a plan, a time, a place, be definitive. Since you met her at the beach say something like would you like to meet with me on Wednesday at 6 p.m. at [fill in the blank] bar for a drink or at [blank] ice cream parlor if that is more your style, even mini golf.

Start dating her before you press for a relationship.

Hi, I am in Los Angeles. I Actually texted her yesterday by the afternoon said "Hey Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner" but still no respond. and i am not gonna text anymore. do you think i can wait for a few days then call her or it over now??

January 28, 2017

Hi, I am in Los Angeles. I Actually texted her yesterday by the afternoon said "Hey Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner" but still no respond. and i am not gonna text anymore. do you think i can wait for a few days then call her or it over now??

Ugh. These vague wanna hang out sometime Qs are awful Women respond better to a confident man. That is the guy with a plan. Instead of this wishy ashy . . maybe . . . would you consider. . a better approach would have been:

" Hey. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to meet for a quick bite on Wednesday at [insert name of casual restaurant] my treat? Hit me back & we can pick a time. I'

m

thinking 6:30 p.

m

."

In NY I would have said 7 -8 but LA is an early town.

You can call her in a few days but I'm not optimistic about your chances.

January 28, 2017

Ugh. These vague wanna hang out sometime Qs are awful Women respond better to a confident man. That is the guy with a plan. Instead of this wishy ashy . . maybe . . . would you consider. . a better approach would have been:

" Hey. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you like to meet for a quick bite on Wednesday at [insert name of casual restaurant] my treat? Hit me back & we can pick a time. I'
m
thinking 6:30 p.
m
."

In NY I would have said 7 -8 but LA is an early town.

You can call her in a few days but I'm not optimistic about your chances.

I did not understand this part "These vague wanna hang out sometime Qs are awful Women respond better to a confident man"

and I think the text is better than calling at this stage since she changed her mind for whatever reason about me, But i do not think more texts will make her change her mind. it actually worked before with my past girl friend but it not usually works.

by the way she is not american. she is European girl

Edited January 28, 2017 by simpleman2017

January 28, 2017

I did not understand this part "These vague wanna hang out sometime Qs are awful Women respond better to a confident man"

and I think the text is better than calling at this stage since she changed her mind for whatever reason about me, But i do not think more texts will make her change her mind. it actually worked before with my past girl friend but it not usually works.

by the way she is not american. she is European girl

A European woman is going to be even less forgiving of indecision. American woman are used to guys who say "wanna hang out?" Still it's an awful way to start.

You wrote her a text. It said:

"Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner"

That is vague, indecisive & imo smacks of insecurity. It seems like you are hedging your bets & you don't have a plan. You want her to come up with one which is not sexy.

The better Q would have included specifics where you give her a date, a time, a place & an activity. Something you put thought into.

This is only my opinion. Many women are OK with the approach you used but when I hear men say stuff like this I conclude the guy has no game

January 28, 2017

A European woman is going to be even less forgiving of indecision. American woman are used to guys who say "wanna hang out?" Still it's an awful way to start.

You wrote her a text. It said:

"Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner"

That is vague, indecisive & imo smacks of insecurity. It seems like you are hedging your bets & you don't have a plan. You want her to come up with one which is not sexy.

The better Q would have included specifics where you give her a date, a time, a place & an activity. Something you put thought into.

This is only my opinion. Many women are OK with the approach you used but when I hear men say stuff like this I conclude the guy has no game

I see. I actually do not mean to be awful,rude or whatever i just talk normal and tried to be polite.

What do you mean by saying "The guy has no game"? is that something good or bad?

So what is the best possible chance to get her respond back? and when should i take this step.

January 28, 2017

No game is a bad thing. I used the phrase to characterize somebody who doesn't plan, can't organize, isn't interesting, doesn't put forth effort, & does not make decisions well.

At this point, stick to your plan. Call her during the week. However, the longer this goes without her reaching out to you in response to the messages & texts you already left her the less likely that she is interested.

Sorry. But part of this is reading the signs to know when to give up before you cross into stalker territory.

January 28, 2017

No game is a bad thing. I used the phrase to characterize somebody who doesn't plan, can't organize, isn't interesting, doesn't put forth effort, & does not make decisions well.

At this point, stick to your plan. Call her during the week. However, the longer this goes without her reaching out to you in response to the messages & texts you already left her the less likely that she is interested.

Sorry. But part of this is reading the signs to know when to give up before you cross into stalker territory.

how to be a guy with a game? we did not even have a conversation yet for her to decide if i am a gamer or not. right?

January 28, 2017

how to be a guy with a game? we did not even have a conversation yet for her to decide if i am a gamer or not. right?

You & I are using the word game differently.

You think it means a bad guy who is not honest with women. You are correct. That is a bad thing & she had no basis upon which to judge whether you are a player.

When I said a "man who has got game" I meant a man who is self confident. My basis for questioning whether you have any (& what I'm sharing with you would have been my conclusion that you do not have self confidence) is your choice to text her

"Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner"

As a woman, if I received that text from a guy I just met I would draw negative conclusions about him & not want to give him a chance. I would think he can't plan or organize a date because he didn't offer a specific activity, date or time.

January 28, 2017

You & I are using the word game differently.

You think it means a bad guy who is not honest with women. You are correct. That is a bad thing & she had no basis upon which to judge whether you are a player.

When I said a "man who has got game" I meant a man who is self confident. My basis for questioning whether you have any (& what I'm sharing with you would have been my conclusion that you do not have self confidence) is your choice to text her

"Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner"

As a woman, if I received that text from a guy I just met I would draw negative conclusions about him & not want to give him a chance. I would think he can't plan or organize a date because he didn't offer a specific activity, date or time.

I see your point but may be i am thinking different. i usually do not like to setup a day or time because I like to give the girl little space to choose whenever she is available (Thats how i am thinking cuz i do not want her to see me as a demanding) but later when we are officialy in relationship then i mostly offer place and time or anything else. I remember my last date with a girl I asked (yes) if we can hangout today and have dinner and i gave her the chance to decide the place and the time.

January 28, 2017

Hi, I am in Los Angeles. I Actually texted her yesterday by the afternoon said "Hey Whats up would you like to hangout sometimes and have dinner" but still no respond. and i am not gonna text anymore. do you think i can wait for a few days then call her or it over now??

She dropped the first text conversation, and she's ignoring the second. I think you're wasting your time contacting her again. She's not really interested.

January 28, 2017

She dropped the first text conversation, and she's ignoring the second. I think you're wasting your time contacting her again. She's not really interested.

Yes Its true. But its weird behavior to give me the number and texting me then disappear thats why i wonder lol !!!

Edited January 28, 2017 by simpleman2017

January 28, 2017

I agree that she is showing very little interest though it sounds like she might have been at the start. I can't see that you have anything to lose by sending one more final text. I would suggest you say something like:

"Hey, I'm really interested in you and would like to get to know you better. Would you like to meet for a coffee/ice cream (whatever you think she likes) sometime soon? If I don't hear from you, I will assume not, but I'm looking forward to your reply."

January 28, 2017

I know you ignored me, but I'm trying again anyway. Let me know if you're ignoring me...

Sorry, this just reeks of social cluelessness which renders him even more unattractive. Silence/ignoring = not interested.

Yes Its true. But its weird behavior to give me the number and texting me then disappear thats why i wonder lol !!!

Whatever. It's irrelevant. She's not interested now as she's ignoring you. Ignoring someone is pretty rude and sends the clear message that you really don't care what the person thinks.

Try again with someone else.

January 28, 2017

how to be a guy with a game? we did not even have a conversation yet for her to decide if i am a gamer or not. right?

You said you met her at the beach though. If you and she didn't have a conversation, how did you get her #?

Meanwhile OP a phone number is not a contract for a date. Especially after such a brief and strange text interaction on your part. I get that it seems unfair that she wrote you off for that but what else does she have to go by.

A much smoother way to have handled it would have been to get her into a (brief!) text conversation and then set up a date.

January 28, 2017

I agree that she is showing very little interest though it sounds like she might have been at the start. I can't see that you have anything to lose by sending one more final text. I would suggest you say something like:

"Hey, I'm really interested in you and would like to get to know you better. Would you like to meet for a coffee/ice cream (whatever you think she likes) sometime soon? If I don't hear from you, I will assume not, but I'm looking forward to your reply."

I actually felt to send something came to my mind like "Alright Hun that sounds awesome lol" cuz her reaction is weird

January 28, 2017

I suspect she thought they were going to be friends. His angle at the beach was they were both new in town and knew no one. From the first text exchange, it became obvious, he wanted something romantic, not friendship, at which point, she stopped responding. She doesn't see him that way. Friends? Yes. Date? Nah.

The easiest, cleanest way to deal with a random stranger who misinterpreted your friendliness as romantic interest? Ignore him. That sends a clear, unambiguous message. No risk of mixed messages in that. Bonus points since you don't have to deal with his refusal to accept your lack of interest, his anger at being rejected, his disingenuous offers of friendship with an ulterior motive, etc.

You said you met her at the beach though. If you and she didn't have a conversation, how did you get her #?

Meanwhile OP a phone number is not a contract for a date. Especially after such a brief and strange text interaction on your part. I get that it seems unfair that she wrote you off for that but what else does she have to go by.

A much smoother way to have handled it would have been to get her into a (brief!) text conversation and then set up a date.

Edited January 28, 2017 by angel.eyes

January 28, 2017

You said you met her at the beach though. If you and she didn't have a conversation, how did you get her #?

Meanwhile OP a phone number is not a contract for a date. Especially after such a brief and strange text interaction on your part. I get that it seems unfair that she wrote you off for that but what else does she have to go by.

A much smoother way to have handled it would have been to get her into a (brief!) text conversation and then set up a date.

yes we did not have that conv we just got to know each others names and what she do her and what i do, then taking numbers because both of us are new here in the state and we need to have some friends (so we not actually asked for a dating). and i never said the # is a contract for a date but her first text to me shows some interested like she asked what did i do tonight and how i doing. i assume since she is foreigner so she got my last text about my dog wrong or disrespectful, May be because her culture is different or something. people here always feel not safe or gets back off when somebody trying to get to know them. thats what a lot friends told me about here specialty in LA.

January 28, 2017

I suspect she thought they were going to be friends. His angle at the beach was they were both new in town and knew no one. From the first text exchange, it became obvious, he wanted something romantic, not friendship, at which point, she stopped responding. She doesn't see him that way. Friends? Yes. Date? Nah.

The easiest, cleanest way to deal with a random stranger who misinterpreted your friendliness as romantic interest? Ignore him. That sends a clear, unambiguous message. No risk of mixed messages in that. Bonus points since you don't have to deal with his refusal to accept your lack of interest, his anger at being rejected, his disingenuous offers of friendship with an ulterior motive, etc.

I did not mention to anything romantic at my second text that she ignored. even if we do not match to be in relationship then i wont gonna lose her as a friend. i do not like to lose people. so no i did not mention anything romantic.

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