jdann Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Hi guys, I just recieved a text from my ex today so I just want to go through my story 3 year relationship, Im 22 shes 19. Amazing 3 years for both of us, she had a BF before me who cheated on her a lot and I never did once. We travelled togther loved eachother so much and her parents loved me and her whole family loved me. Like I would go to meals with her mum and dad and I would drive ! We was honestly the perfect couple. She would always say Im the best BF and she would want to be with me for the rest of her life ect, I could go a lot more but I imagine you get the point. She started Uni in septemeber and things was great I visted and her and her came back and things was amaizng, She had to come back as she has problems with her heart and I was there to care and look after her. Then come late October whiles shes back at Uni she text me saying she feels different, she was coming back the following week, So I said come back and we will see whats going on and see if we can work on things, she said okay. She came back (Nov 1st) and it was 3 days before my bday and she dumped me. She cried and couldnt stop kissing me and said she needed space and time to miss me and said she was sure we would get back togther she just wanted to miss me. I did ask if there was anything I could do and she said not yet. So I agreed and gave her space. We did text that night and she said she loved me and I was the best Bf again and she hopes things change. She then texted me on my bday. (Start of Nov) Then I went NC for 4 weeks, she came back from Uni at Xmas and I did text her if she wanted to meet to catch up, she said yeah. We went to the local lake and we laughed, smiled and caught up. Was about an hour then we hugged and left. I did follow her up on that that night with a text saying was nice to see you, would love to do it again. She said Im not sure, I dont want feelings to get between us, she said it would be better to be friends. I said what happened happened, I cant be your friend as of what we had but If you ever change your mind let me know. She said okay. NC contact since then. (That was around 18th dec) Now I'm not going to lie its been so hard with the break up Im not healed at all, Ive done the right things going gym, seeing mates and going to clubs. Last week I bumped into one of her mates and she told me that she was with someone new, I kept my cool at the time, but when I got home I broke down felt fresh from break up again and honeslty felt so hurt. So what happened is she is now with a flat mate at her Uni and has been for a while. Thing is he had a GF when I visisted and was giving his number to girls at the time. So not the greatest guy. I still kept NC with my ex Now today I get a text from my EX saying shes with someone new and she thought she would let me know before I found out through anyone else (LOL) and wished me well. I know for a Fact this is GIGS. She has been broke up for just 2 months and is with her Flat mate at Uni ! Now I know this will not last as rebounds and also Flat mate relationships do not work. All my mates went Uni and they have said that. But why has she texted me this I dont know what to do I want to text back to say. Hi, yeah I found out through one of friends last week its **** (her new BF name) I hope he treats you well and your happy, all the best. I really wanna text that as I dont want to ignore it. I just feel so crushed by this when I thought I was starting to heal. ANy advice would be amazing Thank you for your read, any questions Please Ask !
Author jdann Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 Im sorry if I shouldnt of text but I did say this just as respect - Hey, yeah I did find out last weekend of one of your friends in town its *** (new BF name). As long as your happy, take care. Left it like that
springy Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 I would have likely said nothing in response to that, but what's done is done. Don't bother with any back and forth. So now you know it's over and time to move on. Doesn't matter if the new relationship lasts or not. Doesn't matter if you give it the GIGS title. This was most likely in the works when she broke up with you. Keep doing the usual things to heal including staying off all of her social media accounts. It's going to take time but keep busy and stay complete no contact. Take care.
Author jdann Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 Yeah kind of regret that I did know oh well I least I left with a bit of respect. She dd just reply saying who so now I am ignoring
springy Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Yeah kind of regret that I did know oh well I least I left with a bit of respect. She dd just reply saying who so now I am ignoring No harm to your respectability was done by responding. Not surprised she would want to know who. I'd leave it. Onward!
Blanco Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Time to focus on a few things here: 1) At her age, it was highly unlikely you were going to be her final boyfriend. People who get with their significant other while they're still a teenager usually seem to hit a point where they either outgrow the relationship or wonder if they're missing out by not exploring other people/relationships. This is less an indictment of either person's value and more just a natural course of things. She was still mostly a child when you two came together. She's barely an adult now. Things change and we usually grow quite a bit from adolescence to adulthood. Because of this, it's normal for relationships that start out in the teenage years to peter out eventually. 2) Now that you know she's with someone else, it'll be in your best interest to cut off ties and any potential sources of information about her. Knowledge about what she's doing will only make things feel worse for you. 3) You do not know that it was GIGS, so please don't hang on to that assumption, let alone view it as factual. You don't know how she arrived in her mind to end the relationship, so it's unfair to definitively state yourself what ended the relationship. 4) No, her new relationship will likely not last, but I pin that more on her age than the time in between your relationship ending and this one starting. You will keep yourself stuck if you cope with the new relationship by telling yourself it's doomed. You don't know that, unfortunately. I ended a three-year relationship a few years back. She had set her sights on a new person within a month of that, and within another couple of weeks, they were dating. To my knowledge, they are still together. So no, rebound relationships aren't doomed, and even if they do end, they don't always flame out quickly. 1
Author jdann Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Time to focus on a few things here: 1) At her age, it was highly unlikely you were going to be her final boyfriend. People who get with their significant other while they're still a teenager usually seem to hit a point where they either outgrow the relationship or wonder if they're missing out by not exploring other people/relationships. This is less an indictment of either person's value and more just a natural course of things. She was still mostly a child when you two came together. She's barely an adult now. Things change and we usually grow quite a bit from adolescence to adulthood. Because of this, it's normal for relationships that start out in the teenage years to peter out eventually. 2) Now that you know she's with someone else, it'll be in your best interest to cut off ties and any potential sources of information about her. Knowledge about what she's doing will only make things feel worse for you. 3) You do not know that it was GIGS, so please don't hang on to that assumption, let alone view it as factual. You don't know how she arrived in her mind to end the relationship, so it's unfair to definitively state yourself what ended the relationship. 4) No, her new relationship will likely not last, but I pin that more on her age than the time in between your relationship ending and this one starting. You will keep yourself stuck if you cope with the new relationship by telling yourself it's doomed. You don't know that, unfortunately. I ended a three-year relationship a few years back. She had set her sights on a new person within a month of that, and within another couple of weeks, they were dating. To my knowledge, they are still together. So no, rebound relationships aren't doomed, and even if they do end, they don't always flame out quickly. Thanks for the advise and yeah I am no longer holding on her to come back. I do care for her though and I dont want her to get hurt by this new guy but i guess she has to learn. I it hard for me just as it was my first relationship, right not Im not even thinking of "someone new" I just want to heal. I have deleted all photos texts memories and blocked on all social media, so I cant be reminded as much or find updates. I have been on the forums for weeks and weeks now, and do not get me wrong I love them and they help when times are so bad, but I want to get to the stage where I do have to vist everday cus Im hurt. Guess I just need more time to heal than normal
preraph Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 You're both young. When I was her age, meeting new friends and love interests happened really fast. She's moved on, sounds like. You shouldn't wait. I agree with Blanco totally. I'm sorry it's hurting you, but there was no way it was going to last. You have a lot more exploring to do. Good luck.
snowangel97 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I'm very sorry that you've had such a challenging relationship and breakup. Long distance relationships are hard on both parties and often it makes couples realize that one or both of them no longer want to be in the relationship. She asked for space and it's great that you gave it to her. Even if she's dating another guy, just try to keep it positive between you two and wish her the best. If the relationship is meant to be, then it will in due time. Who knows what God has planned for you both?! Maybe you'll wind up together or maybe God has someone even more amazing in store for you! Have faith my friend and try to stay positive!
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