Bounceback Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 (edited) I'll try and keep this as short as possible without leaving out details. Ok. In 2013 I dated a girl all summer. She was 20 I was 23. We had a lot of fun but it ended after I had told her I was going to go back home to get ready for trip to Europe with my dad. I had told her I was leaving that night, but ended up staying and went to bar with a friend. Her room mate saw me there and I was talking to another friend who was a girl but it wasn't really like that. I ended up going back to my girlfriends house that night only to find her with another dude. She says she did it cause I lied to her and was with another girl. Anyway that was the end of us, we talked a little bit here and there over the next year or so, hung out a couple times, an attempt at getting back together, she said she loved me and thought that I had cheated on her that summer, which is why she did what she did. Fast forward Christmas 2016. I see on facebook she is single after being in a relationship for a while. I think she had been broken up for a while at this point. I reached out and wishes her a merry Christmas, hadn't talked to her in 18 months. She replies back, and on New Years invites me to go see her. She lives in Austin I live in Houston. We met up with some friends, she and I got a hotel and had literally the best sex ever. That night and again in morning. I was thinking it was good closure and a 1 time deal. She said I should come see her again sometime. She ended up initiating contact every day after that, got very intimate with me in our conversations, I told her I loved her. She said she loved me too. I felt comfortable saying that cause she had told me in past she loved me, and I know she does, or she wouldn't have wanted to see me again, and the connection we have during sex is unreal.Things were good, we kept talking every day, she initiated most of it. Lots of sending me old pictures of us, lots of I miss you, wish you were here. Lots of snapchat. Anyway, on the 12th of January she called me, we talked on phone for about an hour. She joked about me moving up to her city to live there. She said she was going to a hockey game the next day(Thursday) but that I should come see her after I got back from a funeral I had to go to that weekend. After that phone call Wednesday, I didn't hear from her for a couple days . I sent her a text Thursday saying I was excited to see her on Sunday and to have fun at hockey game. No reply. I saw on snapchat she was with another dude, I didn't open her story but I could see the thumbnail. I didn't trip, she single. She ended up posting the pic on Facebook a couple days later to make sure I saw it. I texted her Saturday night then she called me and we talked for a bit. Told her I wanted to see her when I got back Sunday, she said to call her when I got home. I texted her when I landed, she replied, then I sent another text no reply. That night she asked if I was still awake, sent me nudes and told me how she wanted me to **** her in the ass. No texting the next few days, some snapchats. Friday night she asks me what I'm up to, sends me a nude shot. Saturday morning she texts me good morning, told her I'd call her later, called her later, she was busy, she called me back around 4 pm. We talked about our weekend plans, I hung up and texted her I wanted to come see her. She said she was busy with school but wanted me to come up there, but she wasn't sure if it was a good idea. I do believe she had a lot of homework, she's in grad school. Now it's the current week, she texted me on Monday and sent me some snapchats this week. I haven't made any attempts to contact her since that first phone call from that Wednesday before hockey game. Thoughts on why she pulled back on throttle so hard after that phone call before hockey game? Why would she call me and talk for an hour just to fall off after that?and why is she sending me nudes telling me she wants me to **** her in the ass? I regret starting off so fast with her again after 3 years. I really like her though, and I know she likes me too. I'm thinking she got scared about how fast we were moving and the distance. I'm 99% sure the ex boyfriend is not in the picture, but I'm more worried about the guy from hockey game. She's known him since college too. She still contacts me a little bit, some snapchats everyday, but no more good mornings, how was your day, I miss you, etc. keep in mind we've done this all before, lot of baggage, but we have the closest connection during sex it's unreal. Edited January 27, 2017 by Bounceback
Author Bounceback Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 Please help, I really like this girl
Author Bounceback Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 QuiTLDR Messages ex gf from 3 years ago merry Christmas after no talking for 18 months, hadn't had sex in 3 years She invites me to go see her New Years We had sex a couple times, I live in Houston she lives in Austin She said thanks for coming to see her and that I should come back again. She started texting me every day being very intimate for about two weeks She just pulled back recently and hasn't been contacting me anymore other than group texts on snap chat, I haven't chased her or tried contacting her since her change in behavior
spiderowl Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Unless I am misunderstanding something, you were letting her do most of the initiating re contact. Maybe she felt you were not as interested as she was. It sounds like she had patches of wanting to be with you and flirting and encouraging you, then maybe not so much. If you want her, maybe you need to take more initiative. Other guys will do. I know from my own experience that some guys will be very pro-active (and I like that) and others will expect me to do all the running and sound very half-hearted. Which would you find most interesting? Ultimately, you need to decide whether she is interested in you or not. If you base it on whether she initiates most contact, then the balance is wrong and I would not blame her for opting out. After all, she needs to know you want her too. It does sound in the end that you were initiating contact and making it clear you wanted to meet her, whereas she was cooling off a bit. Why, I don't know. I think it is worth pursuing a bit longer to see if she responds to a more active interest. If she does not respond in turn, take it that she's no longer interested for whatever reason. Sometimes things ebb and flow like this and we are all buffeted about.
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