hercules22 Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 so this girl i really liked said that to me when i wanted something more i understand she did come out of 3 year relationship . i just wonder would she ever consider dating me in future . we used to see each other alot makeout etc talk on phone and hangout and stuff. she said i should enjoy myself maybe u will meet someone else then said if i am still a free man she would seek my company . im not really sure if she even means that. its been like 6 or 7 months since she brokeup with her ex we saw each other for like 2 months
Miss Spider Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Would you tell a girl you were interested in "you should go out and meet other guys. If you don't get taken eventually maybe we can date "? Sorry. I think she was trying to let you down easy 3
Brittybritt92 Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Anyone that's interested would go for it, move on 3
Author hercules22 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Posted January 27, 2017 Would you tell a girl you were interested in "you should go out and meet other guys. If you don't get taken eventually maybe we can date "? Sorry. I think she was trying to let you down easy ye it sucks she did say she wants to take her time and all this stuff how she scared of getting into a relationship cause her last one was bad. we still talk to each other sometimes have no idea if she been seeing anyone else shes still single its always her that texts me out of the blue or calls randomly as i stopped texting and calling to initiate contact . being just friends sucks she never talks about other guys to me and never talked about her ex. do some girls really just dont want to be in relationship for a very long time when they come out of long term relationship
Miss Spider Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 ye it sucks she did say she wants to take her time and all this stuff how she scared of getting into a relationship cause her last one was bad. we still talk to each other sometimes have no idea if she been seeing anyone else shes still single its always her that texts me out of the blue or calls randomly as i stopped texting and calling to initiate contact . being just friends sucks she never talks about other guys to me and never talked about her ex. do some girls really just dont want to be in relationship for a very long time when they come out of long term relationship I think so. But I think more often there are people who think they don't want to be until the right person comes along. By texting her you're actually friend-zoning yourself and getting further away from your goal. She's getting what she wants and you're not. Make yourself unavailable unless she comes back "ready". Then cool but I wouldn't bet on it and I would take her advice and move on. 4
WaitingForBardot Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 I think so. But I think more often there are people who think they don't want to be until the right person comes along. By texting her you're actually friend-zoning yourself and getting further away from your goal. She's getting what she wants and you're not. Make yourself unavailable unless she comes back "ready". Then cool but I wouldn't bet on it and I would take her advice and move on. Yup. Many, many, many years ago, maybe late '60s early '70s, the relationship columnist Dr Hippocrates summed this up rather succinctly. He said "When someone says they're not ready for a relationship, what they actually mean is that they're not ready for a relationship with you!" And I agree with the rest of your reply as well... 3
kendahke Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 so this girl i really liked said that to me when i wanted something more i understand she did come out of 3 year relationship . i just wonder would she ever consider dating me in future . we used to see each other alot makeout etc talk on phone and hangout and stuff. she said i should enjoy myself maybe u will meet someone else then said if i am still a free man she would seek my company . im not really sure if she even means that. its been like 6 or 7 months since she brokeup with her ex we saw each other for like 2 months Why do you think she doesn't mean it? You seeing each other for 2 months is non sequitur to anything. Making out, phone calls--means nothing... just methods of marking time. She is telling you right here that you need to go find someone else right now because she's not checking for you. And seriously, don't put your life on hold waiting on her to come around because chances are, another man has her interest and she's not about to tell you that. Don't submit yourself into denial by trying to twist what she's clearly said to you into something that will make said denial more palatable. 3
hannahph Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 I would not wait around for her. Who knows, maybe in the future you could work, but you do not want to fall in love with someone who told you they were not serious and did not want a relationship. She is being open with you, letting you know she is not ready, so try and keep some distance just to protect your heart. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 ye it sucks she did say she wants to take her time and all this stuff how she scared of getting into a relationship cause her last one was bad. we still talk to each other sometimes have no idea if she been seeing anyone else shes still single its always her that texts me out of the blue or calls randomly as i stopped texting and calling to initiate contact . being just friends sucks she never talks about other guys to me and never talked about her ex. do some girls really just dont want to be in relationship for a very long time when they come out of long term relationship Sure, why not? Some people - women and men - like the idea of living the single life for a while before committing. This is particularly true if they still have feelings for their ex. Take her at her word. For whatever reason, this won't develop into a relationship. 1
SevenCity Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Yup. Many, many, many years ago, maybe late '60s early '70s, the relationship columnist Dr Hippocrates summed this up rather succinctly. He said "When someone says they're not ready for a relationship, what they actually mean is that they're not ready for a relationship with you!" And I agree with the rest of your reply as well... Exactly. Women, for whatever insane reason, think it is less hurtful to beat around the bush rather than telling you the truth. They think letting you down easy is better when in reality it does a lot more hurt. Guys on the other hand think of things logically. Like "She wouldn't say this to me if she didn't mean it. I've just got to wait it out!". Think of it like going for a job interview and they say "We don't have any openings now. I wouldn't pass up other offers, but we'll call you if something opens up". Chances are you will never a call ever again.
kendahke Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 Women, for whatever insane reason, think it is less hurtful to beat around the bush rather than telling you the truth. No, it's not insane. Self preservation is the strongest drive in the human being.
SevenCity Posted January 27, 2017 Posted January 27, 2017 No, it's not insane. Self preservation is the strongest drive in the human being. How so? Are you implying that women do this because they are afraid the guy will freak out and hurt them? For some cases I would agree. In this case I don't think the OP showed any signs of violence.
kendahke Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 How so? Are you implying that women do this because they are afraid the guy will freak out and hurt them? That is exactly what I'm doing. No one knows how anyone they don't know is going to react to being rejected. The women who let Ted Bundy into their lives also didn't think he would freak out and kill them, either. For some cases I would agree. In this case I don't think the OP showed any signs of violence. What OP says here and how he acts off this site when faced with not getting what he wants are two completely different things. He has already said: she said i should enjoy myself maybe u will meet someone else then said if i am still a free man she would seek my company . im not really sure if she even means that. This is the first indication that one may be dealing with someone who cannot take rejection--they think they know what that person means/wants better than they do themselves.
SevenCity Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 That is exactly what I'm doing. No one knows how anyone they don't know is going to react to being rejected. The women who let Ted Bundy into their lives also didn't think he would freak out and kill them, either. What OP says here and how he acts off this site when faced with not getting what he wants are two completely different things. He has already said: This is the first indication that one may be dealing with someone who cannot take rejection--they think they know what that person means/wants better than they do themselves. Sounds like you had a bad experience. I don't see any issue with the OP not understanding woman-speak. A lot of guys don't. But I'll add this. If I was a psycho I would be WAY more pissed off if a girl lead me on with such BS than if she just said no. I've learned to understand it from women and I'm at the point where I don't care. In my youth I would be much more bothered by a chick who lead me on, gave me a fake number or stood me up. When a girl says no to my advances, the first thought in my mind is "thank you - now I don't have to waste anymore time". You find a real psycho and lead him on you might find yourself in a worse position.
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