Sparta Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 (edited) OP first of all to your relationship why do you have a joint checking account. I guess in your case thank God. The way she pulled that off is total disrespected, it's not that she doesn't respect you. I don't think she likes you. That's beyond total disrespect it is more along the lines of its if she hate you. You're a nice guy so you need to read that book (No more Mr. nice guy)it's free on Internet you can Google it and you can download. Highly advise you to read that. Or you'll just keep repeating your relationship with someone else. OP there is no saving that relationship no not on that level of betrayal. And don't worry about being nice to her OK she showed you no empathy or any type of kindness she's a real POS. Break from this relationship ASAP she already did, just follow her lead. OP remember to read no more Mr. nice guy just Google you can download it. Keep us posted update like to hear how you're doing. Good luck buddy Edited January 28, 2017 by Sparta 2
lolablue17 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 SIGH, I mean I really loved her, it broke my heart that she could do that to me. She just chose him over me in an instant and ruined a 2 year committed relationship... What has to be done has to be done. I will keep you guys posted on what will happen! Yes it's really hard, especially when it's only a one time event. I believe relationships can cross some scratch and difficulties. But this one, although it's a minor event, it shows a huge basic wrong approach, and these things turn to grow in time and to become much worse. At least you got the pleasure to inform her that her problem of you being controlling, is totally solved. 1
Sweetfish Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 I love how every member on here throws the insecurity card all the time. I guess being with the opposite sex and and them breaking down their walls with alcohol while your not their is a favorable situation among many here. 1
morrowrd Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 (edited) He isn't you're wife's "boss" anymore. So that hat can be taken off and inserted with something else. "Friend?" So this isn't about dinner between a boss and a co worker. Here's the problem, anytime someone in a relationship has an exclusive other relationship with someone of the opposite sex, it's an ominous red flag. This man invited your girlfriend out to dinner, a man whom your girlfriend gushes about because of why? That's a question I would be asking myself. And then, here you are, her boyfriend, and you are excluded from this "friendly relationship?" Question number #2, why is that? This isn't about trust, it's about disrespect. You are being sidelined, disrespected, and your relationship is being disrespected as well. Your girlfriend is in the wrong. If I was in your shoes, I would call a spade a spade and ask some blunt questions. Then start having a good conversation about expectations you both have in your relationship. Edited January 28, 2017 by morrowrd 1
Alamo657 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 She just put him over me and I feel really upset and angry at the moment just thinking about it. I do not know if I could honestly deal with this. She used to always talk about him and I was worried back then and I don't find it fine that she left even though she knew I was uncomfortable. What do i do guys? I really need help. We've been together two years by the way. 1) when a woman always mention/talks about a man, it means she's impressed and most likely attracted to him. 2) women dig power and wealth, can't help with that. 3) your wife is disrespecting your marriage. at that point the worst thing you can do is harass her, question her, and try to control her life. It will push her away even faster between the legs of her former boss (if she's not already down there). 3) you have 3 choices : a) hire a PI to gather evidence about what she's hiding from you. Those proofs won't save your mariage, it will only put you in a position of power over the impending cheating situation. b) do like she's doing : play the field and meet new people, maker her equally jealous and insecure, so she realize that loosing your SO is not desirable. c) cut your losses in advance and leave her. she is either cheating, or intending to. either way, it means your marriage is meaningless to her. save yourself humiliation and pain in advance and eventually find a faithful woman to share your life 2
elaine567 Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 1) when a woman always mention/talks about a man, it means she's impressed and most likely attracted to him. Men do the same, so if your SO is talking non stop about another person, or keeps bringing them into the conversation, then it is a huge red flag. They are enamoured and want to talk about them all the time, so they bring them up "innocently" to everyone, even their SO. 2
phineas Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Men do the same, so if your SO is talking non stop about another person, or keeps bringing them into the conversation, then it is a huge red flag. They are enamoured and want to talk about them all the time, so they bring them up "innocently" to everyone, even their SO. yep. she is going to end up alone with him and then she is going to sleep with him and say "it just happened" 1
mccluskeyj17 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Girlfriend is seeing/talking to her boss JDX23, is it possible she did not tell because she knew what your reaction would be (you were quite upset and angry). She may have been trying to avoid an agreement. It sounds as if your trust was already crushed before she told him you were not comfortable with their meeting. I say this because you said, “you were not sure if she was being honest, I am very worried about our relationship, she used to always talk about him and I was worried back then.” It is hard to be in a relationship where there is no trust or it has been broken. Aside from this situation has she done something in the past to cause you to distrust her? If she hasn’t then as Preraph mentioned you should trust her. Some have advised listen to your gut and I would agree with that but also keep in mind that it sounds like you gave her an ultimatum (me or him). You had told her how you felt and that by going it could ruin your relationship and she chose to go. You have to decide what you will and will not tolerate in your relationship. I wouldn’t encourage you to do tit for tat because as the saying goes “2 wrongs don’t make one right.” It is not worth you trying to get even nor pay her back. On the matter of the checking account, if you both aren’t contributing to the account then you may want to take her off the account.
mightycpa Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I am just going to get to the point and say that my girlfriend usually talks to about her boss almost everyday ever since she got a job a few months back. She had told me he recently quit to run his campaign (I presume he is running for party or something). a week later since then, I was coming home at around 7:00pm when my girlfriend ran up to me telling me she was going downtown to meet her boss at a restaurant talking about something "important". She wouldn't tell me what it was about until I asked a million times, telling me it was about his campaign. I am not sure whether she was honest or not since she told me after I asked a million times. I was quite upset and angry because that before I got there she was waiting for me to get home to see me, and now she all the sudden does not care and wants to see her boss. She said her boss was paying for the ride there and back (paying for her Uber). Let me tell you downtown is quite far away from us, second, I don't know where she was going, third, what time she was getting back, and fourth, I have not met this guy before and neither has she ever introduced us. As a boyfriend I am very worried about our relationships. I told her I was not comfortable her going there, being picked up by someone we both don't know, and that we were not even sure if the guy was going to take her the right place! She kept begging for me to be okay with it, but how could I be?! She was complaining about how much homework she had to do and all the sudden she wants to go see her boss?! I told her "if its so important that he has to tell you something then why doesn't he just talk to you on the phone, or you tell him you're busy doing homework and you need to talk on the phone" she ended up telling him I was uncomfortable with her going to see him, merely crushing my trust as I told it to her and had never asked her to tell him. She ended up leaving even after I told her it was going to ruin our relationship. I am sure every guy out there knows as a man you do not invite another mans women out to dinner. Its just wrong. He seemed to not give a sh*t. She just put him over me and I feel really upset and angry at the moment just thinking about it. I do not know if I could honestly deal with this. She used to always talk about him and I was worried back then and I don't find it fine that she left even though she knew I was uncomfortable. What do i do guys? I really need help. We've been together two years by the way.Wow, you must really think a lot of your GF after two years. A guy invites her to dinner, and you're afraid he'll whisk her off to his hotel room and I guess bang the stuffing out of her because ..... SHE'LL LET HIM? Isn't that what you're really saying? What could he do with her if she doesn't let him? Hmmmm? If I were her, I'd have gone too, because I'd have no respect for you whatsoever. Oh, and this: I am sure every guy out there knows as a man you do not invite another mans women out to dinner. Its just wrong. Yeah, I wouldn't give a sh*t either, if I liked the woman. You want her all to yourself? Put a ring on it, otherwise, tout est juste dans l'amour et la guerre. You know what else? Guys who don't respect their women are easy pickins.
Sweetfish Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Wow, you must really think a lot of your GF after two years. A guy invites her to dinner, and you're afraid he'll whisk her off to his hotel room and I guess bang the stuffing out of her because ..... SHE'LL LET HIM? Isn't that what you're really saying? What could he do with her if she doesn't let him? Hmmmm? If I were her, I'd have gone too, because I'd have no respect for you whatsoever. Oh, and this: Yeah, I wouldn't give a sh*t either, if I liked the woman. You want her all to yourself? Put a ring on it, otherwise, tout est juste dans l'amour et la guerre. You know what else? Guys who don't respect their women are easy pickins. Your the same guy on these forums that tells the O.P. he is just being insecure and when he finds out his gf/wife cheated your nowhere to be found. Suddenly crickets. You just nailed your self...you say stop being insecure about your women let her be wine and dined by another man... your being controlling and end your statement with well since its slim pickings let me go hit on this girl and you will continue to do so because she doesnt have a ring on her finger... 1
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