New GF ditched me to party with her friends

[winny]

You are acting too insecure. Just go get a life of your own and have fun with your friends and let her enjoy with her friends.

[winny]

I mean I trust her and I know she won't find anyone better than me but I also know that guy is an ******* and a womanizer and will proly try to get her drunk to bang her. I have never been angry with her and as I said I told her "she should definately go to that party".

/QUOTE]

 

 

This made me laugh so hard..! LOL

 

 

She CAN get someone better than you...!!! Right now you don't seem much of a catch

 

 

And she is not a naïve teenager that some guy can get her to drink and trick her into sex. If something like that happens then your GF is to be blamed equally. And what makes you think that guy would wanna bang your GF? I am sure there would be hotter chicks who are single at the party

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

She didn't ditch you for the party - you chose not to go.

 

I think she was kind of expecting him not to go TBH, she seemed OK with his answer.

 

OP I think you just need to talk to her about relationship expectations. It sounds like you're both in different places right now. She's very young at 22, and still enjoying being 21+, going out partying, drinking, etc. -- you sound a bit more established at 28.

 

In my experience Girls are extremely flakey in their younger 20s and LOVE to party -- they start to mellow out a bit more around 24/25.

 

You just have to decide if it's worth it.

 

 

 

EDIT: I think people are unfairly bashing the OP here, he seems like a decent dude -- he probably just doesn't realize that he's really seeking someone who is ready to settle down for a serious relationship more -- and this girl isn't it.

Edited January 27, 2017 by barcode88

[kendahke]

Either go and confirm your suspicions about your gf's fidelity

 

or

 

stay home and drive yourself crazy with speculation and what-if's about what she's doing.

 

At the end of the day, there are consequences to both choices you make... which piper would you rather pay?

[smackie9]

I see two main points one is age difference and other is my insecurity. None of these is a concern. My dad is 7 years older than my mother and they met when she was 21 and he was 28. They have a 30 year anniversary this year and are very much in love. The other is I'm not insecure at all, as I said I know I have nothing to worry about because I know what I have to offer and I know that guy is not going to steal her from me but this doesn't mean he won't try. I'm only concerned because she blew me off 4 nights in a row over her friends. Does this mean I should move on? Most the answers here are split.

 

In any case she messaged me this morning (our last conversation being me agreeing that she should definately go to the party and her asking me to come). She says she changed her mind and wants to see me instead. I insisted that she should go but she is still going to see me. I think this situation was a good test for her.

I wouldn't call it a "test", I would call it a "realization to keep the promises you make, sticking with your original commitment"....a step towards responsibility and maturity.

[QueenDafine]

You're gonna have tines in a relationship where you guys won't be seeing each other every single day or second day. It shouldn't be a problem at this stage of the relationship, I mean you guys just stated dating and you still have your own lives. You're considering breaking up with her over this which I think is really immature. If you can't handle something like this so early on in the relationship you probably shouldn't be dating her.

[lolablue17]

You're gonna have tines in a relationship where you guys won't be seeing each other every single day or second day. It shouldn't be a problem at this stage of the relationship, I mean you guys just stated dating and you still have your own lives. You're considering breaking up with her over this which I think is really immature. If you can't handle something like this so early on in the relationship you probably shouldn't be dating her.

 

Well, my wife and I were seeing each other EVERY DAY except from some weekends when we visited our families (1-2 times a month, we were students). This lasted for the first few years into our relationship. This arrangment was good for the both of us. We didn't want to be anywhere else, only with each other. There are people like us, you know...

[gaius]

Most 22 year old's aren't really with it, they're still kids but this one doesn't sound just not with it, she sounds dumb. If a girl I knew ever said she was super excited about a party because some dude who is good at getting women drunk would be there I would wonder if she got dropped on her head as a baby. =/

 

I know you love her but I'm wagering stuff like this is what you're going to have to deal with from time to time if you want to keep going with this girl.

[Sweetfish]

IMHO, you are jealous and afraid she is going to get with the life of the party guy. If that is the case, then this is about you, not her. However, If this isn't the case then there are other considerations. If you trust her, which you said you did, then maybe you just didn't like the way she described this guy and became possessive of her and her time. You are 28 so you know that feeling insecure is a byproduct of fear of being vulnerable, getting hurt, etc. if you have been cheated on or bypassed in the past by someone, you might just be projecting these insecurities in her and this situation. It never feels good to be a second choice. That is what you are feeling. You feel she is amazing, she feels you are disposable enough to cancel and as an afterthought invite you to a party which doesn't sound like your thing. She may just be a thoughtless 22 year old girl, but the fact still remains that you weren't a high enough priority for her that she didn't want to spend the time with you.

It has been my experience that people who are really into you want to be with you as much as possible, do not cancel plans and while loving time with friends, wouldn't cancel if you are a priority. As the old saying goes, she just isn't as into you as you are into her.

Best of luck,

Grumps

 

 

Jealousy

Insecurity

Being protective

 

ARE ALL HEALTHY NORMAL HUMAN TRAITS that exist in a relationship.

 

its when you are abnormally jealous, insecure, and protective that Houston we have a problem.

 

Every time I hear these statements... its just an excuse(enabler) for your girlfriend or wife to act a certain way because I guess for some odd reason any form of emotions emitted from a guy is a sign of weakness... well not showing your emotions is equally as damaging.

 

This same scenario can go down if they were the same age or if she was older. However, I do agree dating within the age range may make things easier.

 

I agree with Smackie9 and the incompatibilities are starting to show. I highly doubt you expressing how awesome another women would go down to well. Yes or No?

 

I like the fact that you should come out of your comfort zone and join her... But will she come out of her comfort zone for you? That's the real question. It might not be your scene...but since the relationship is soo young isn't it a perfect opportunity to see how she acts in a different environment?

 

The key problem I see is the girlfriends behavior has SHIFTED and the OP has came to the forum for advice and I think the advice given is generic and I think its B.S. that anyone here would not be concern if the person they were dating did a dramatic shift and didn't blink in eye. I call B.S. on those statements.

 

I know she's young but she's a geek inside, she never drinks and rathers to read a book and sip on tea.

 

 

2 months in the relationship and she is blowing you off... That is where would play close attention and see if she can balance you and her friends in moderation rather than make her friends priority. Isn't it fair that there should be a compromise as well... Maybe you meet the friends bowling or some other venue you both like?

[BluesPower]

Dude, you are a stick in the mud...

 

First, you do not have to drink if you don't want to.

 

Second, she is acting more single than exclusive.

 

Third, stop being a puss for Christ's sake.

 

Go and have fun or lose her. How old are you??? Do you not know anything about women at all???????