mccluskeyj17 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I agree that you are over thinking this thing but both of your actions and words don’t line up. Keeping it 100; you were in a bar setting, lights were probably low, eye contact, friends couple up and you and she the third wheel. You said, “I think she was waiting for me to kiss her, but I didn't. Then she asked you to follow here home.” I have been out of the club a long time but this sounds like it was going to lead to sex. There were times when my verbal communication did not line up with my non-verbal communication. I’m assuming she did not object to you kissing her several times. Caution went out the door when you followed her home because outside of your conversation that night and being friends on facebook, neither of you knew if the other one was a murder, rapist, or what. Are you looking to be married, because she told you upfront what she is looking for in the next relationship/guy? Many times when texting, I get distracted and don’t immediately respond. So I wouldn’t read much into that. You told her that you would make the plans for the date, she agreed. She could have responded back but didn’t. So then you should have asked which day and confirmed that the date was still a go. Sir, you are a thinker and sometimes as thinkers we have to get out of our minds because we will overthink or over analyze the situation. We’ll replay how we could have said something or did something. Take your time in getting to know each other because just because you know someone on facebook does not mean that you know them. As someone had mentioned about abusive relationships, I’ve also been in an abusive relationship. And growing up many times I defended my mom, so I knew that I did not want to be in this type of relationship. Yet I found myself there, I did not go get counseling but I made up in my mind that I would not live like that plus I didn’t want my kids to grow up in that because I knew how that felt. Being in a relationship with someone who has been abused there may be triggers: ex. You may raise your hand, the other person may assume you are about to hit them and they flinch or protect themselves or even lash out. So if you pursue a relationship with this young lady know that you may experience this and she may experience flashbacks. So did you all go out?
Redhead14 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Last night while out doing an open mic night at a local bar I met this lady I've been friends with on FB for the first time. We're both singers. We had an awesome night. When she got up to sing I did backing vocals for her on a Fleetwood Mac song. The crowd loved it. I bought her a bouquet of flowers from the flower girl that came around. We were hugging each other and had very close meaningful conversation. Her and I are both tall and I think make an great couple. You could see it in the eyes of mutual friends that were there that they were happy to see us being so close. People had smiles ear to ear. We were both the hit of the night in the bar. Anyway, we ended up on the topic of ex's and she told me that her ex used to beat her pretty bad. My heart sank hearing this because she is so sweet and beautiful. I could tell right off the bat by the way she is that she is someone I could truly trust, and I really haven't had that with any of my ex's. As we were talking we were really close and a few times were looking right into each others eyes as we were talking. I think she was waiting for me to kiss her, but I didn't. She's really concerned about getting involved with anyone on the rebound and this time around wants to be sure the next one is the guy she's going to end up marrying. I told her I put everything behind me and always look forward. After that things continued on and we had a great time. She asked me if I would follow her home, which I did. As we were talking by her car we were looking at each other and she told me she really wanted to kiss me, but she wants to get know me better. I told her I understood completely. This brought me so close to her I had to kiss her. She wanted to so bad. I could see it in her eyes. After that she gave me a short tour of her beautiful home and I kissed her a couple more times. Part of both of us wanted to me stay, but we knew I couldn't, so I said goodnight and she said 'text me when you get home so I know you got home safe', which I did. This morning I texted her good morning in which she reciprocated. We were both having our morning coffee. I asked her if she wanted to go out and that I would make plans for us this Friday or Saturday in which she said 'sounds good'. My parting words were (and I quote) ':-)....okay. Let me get rollin'. Have to hit the shower and try and get as much as I can done as I can. I have to leave for work by 2. Text or call me later if you want to. Have a good day sweetheart'. After that she didn't reply back. Not sure why. Critique what I just said. Was there something in it that pushed her away a little or am I reading into in too much? I know she's a little skittish. She doesn't want to get her heart broken again. I think I know what's going through her mind, but I'm not sure. Since the next one she wants to be with is the guy she wants to marry is it best for me to let her know in some kind of way that I really care for her or to back off? Tomorrow is Friday. Since she didn't respond back even after she agreed to go out this weekend should I wait to hear back from her tomorrow or should I make the next move again and say good morning. I want to do this right. I really like this girl and I can see us going somewhere. I'm just concerned about what I should or shouldn't say to her. Thanks in advance. It didn't require a response. You told her you had to run, take a shower, etc. -- busy. Why would she keep the conversation going when she knows you're trying to get ready for work. You initiated plans, get back to her and firm them up . . .
BlueRidgeMT Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Maybe thats a regional thing... I call everyone "sweetheart", "honey" or "darlin" all the time. Doesn't necessarily mean anything. That's true. Sometimes I use terms like that for BOTH sexes. Doesn't mean not one thing to me. Just the way I talk. And most people should be able to figure that out by the way I say it, and the context in which I say it.
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