Kelley Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Is seeing someone once a week enough to build a relationship long term? Discussion at work as a friend is seeing a single dad. He has 3 young children that he spends a lot of time with, works nights. I said that his kids will always be his priority like it should be. Her concern it's not enough time to build on their things in common, and that they like each other a lot. They have been seeing each other a month. I see my bloke 3 to 4 times a week, maybe that is excessive? Surely it's down to the individuals, but time together and building and reinforcing that bond has to take place in my opinion? Thoughts?
Sara1989 Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 At a month i think that is ok due to his other commitments but the contact should really escalate at a point. 2
preraph Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 To me, twice a week is plenty. I mean, if a person is working and has other responsibilities or gets tired and needs to recharge, twice a week is more than enough. I have a friend (we're older) whose bf wanted to spend the whole weekend with her, and she was exhausted because she had no down time. She told him one day a week finally.
GunslingerRoland Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 I think it depends, there is number of times, and hours per time. If you have 2 dates a week and they are a couple of hours each, I don't think that is much of a relationship honestly. If you are talking all day Saturday and all day Sunday as 2 times, that is different. Personally I think with a relationship though once you get serious you integrate each other into your lives. The thing that blows me away time and time again on here is reading about couples, where they each have totally different groups of friends and they don't even see their SO's friends. It seems so strange to me, as I don't know couples in the real world who do that.
Whodatdog Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 If he has 3 young kids and works nights, he has no time for a relationship. That is way down his list of what is important right now. 1
Author Kelley Posted January 26, 2017 Author Posted January 26, 2017 I think where kids are involved you have to get to the point where you are serious enough to integrate your life though. It's not something you take lightly introducing someone to yours kids. I think she worries she can't get momentum with him, only seeing him a few hours a week, and building to being serious. I think I would struggle with that too, we are both happy seeing each other 4 times a week, and chatting on the phone, but I'm guessing everyone is different and from the replies it's seems OK too. I think it depends, there is number of times, and hours per time. If you have 2 dates a week and they are a couple of hours each, I don't think that is much of a relationship honestly. If you are talking all day Saturday and all day Sunday as 2 times, that is different. Personally I think with a relationship though once you get serious you integrate each other into your lives. The thing that blows me away time and time again on here is reading about couples, where they each have totally different groups of friends and they don't even see their SO's friends. It seems so strange to me, as I don't know couples in the real world who do that.
RileyS Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 I'm in a LDR that started off with us only seeing each other once or twice a week for the first few months, we started dating 18 months ago and now spend almost every weekend together these days so it's definitely possible. I wouldn't do it again though, we're only an hour apart but it's meant visiting more than once or twice a week isn't feasible so the relationship progresses far slower. 1
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Me personally no. That's why I would never date someone with child commitments or worked long hours. I would only date someone that was compatible to my availability. If I was that busy, I wouldn't bother with looking for a relationship. ya got to make time for each other or it's pointless.
GunslingerRoland Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 I think where kids are involved you have to get to the point where you are serious enough to integrate your life though. It's not something you take lightly introducing someone to yours kids. I think she worries she can't get momentum with him, only seeing him a few hours a week, and building to being serious. I think I would struggle with that too, we are both happy seeing each other 4 times a week, and chatting on the phone, but I'm guessing everyone is different and from the replies it's seems OK too. For sure, but you were talking about building a long term relationship so I'm not talking about a couple that just met. Also I was answering more generally. Kids definitely complicate things.
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