Aizen Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Hi everyone, i am in a relationship with this girl since one year, and one thing is certain i love her. At the beginning of the relation, my guard was up because i have been hurt in my previous relationship, i took one year to put myself out there to date again. After recovery, this georgous woman hit on me, and i let myself embrace the sweet experience of a new relationship. Good God, she was caring and loving too some extent that make me happy like never before, and she was feeling the same about me. 6 Months later after meeting some of my girl friends, she became cold with me, she then told me how she was thinking something was going on with these girls. I understand a bit why because i clique easily with women i encounter, but i have eyes, heart and mind for her only, i told her that right away unfortunately she wasnt convinced a bit. The following weekend when we met, she told me she was dissapointed in me , and she started crying in my arms and told me she loves me... well well well i felt something was going on. From here the relationship went dowhill like hell with recurant fight here and there, intimancy drop to zero, then one day she told me we need to talk. I was trying to understand what was going on... she choose the moment to hit me with the combo "the relationship is becoming quite boring, i need a break, it s me it s not you". The funny thing is before coming to this point, I told her we should work on us, and bam now she wants a break. I took all the strength i have and i agreed but before i asked her if there was a new player in town, she say no. Fast forwarding some weeks where she went from cold to hot and teased me like nothing is going on, how she wanted me, missed me and all the packages we all know, and when i fell for it, she reminded me about "our situation" , of course i knew but why on earth was she teasing me? I kept my cool down, until she played the game one more time, where i lost it. I explained the situation to some friends, they all said the same thing "someone took over you queen". One of our mutual friend called her out on her BS, she went full Hulk on me, like i am whining to others, and now "something" is broken and she doesnt know if we can go back where we were before and she needs a " real break". The following evening she hit me up, and tell me how she sees herself as my lifetime partner, and she is back to Killer Frost mode, we went like this for a week. I understood i needed to man up, as soon as i started the NC, she became mad cold when checking me, because my answer was short. A few days ago, she told me she is ready to talk about us, what should i expect from it guys? I think a break up is coming my way
SerPundnes Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 A break is never a good sign, I'm afraid. I agree with you, it sounds like a breakup is heading your way. I would prepare for the worst before the talk you are gonna have, so you can be a little prepared. If she breaks up with you, keep your s*it together during the talk! Act cool, act like it isn't such a big deal! Tell her "Fine, if that's what you want, that's what you get!". Then go COLD TURKEY NC on her right away. Don't try to be friends with her, don't initiate contact with her. Let her have it her way. If you do this, you will walk out of the relationship with pride, atleast it seems like it from her POV. Sure, your ego and self image will take a hit, but don't show that to her. Silence speaks louder than words! Cut her out of your life and start focusing 100% on you! Better yourself where you feel there can be done improvement! Hit the gym, hang out with friends and family, get a new hobby, get social as f*ck, keep your mind busy. You will have to grief for as long as you have to. But there will come a day where you'll be thinking "Screw this, I'm moving forward!". Maybe not the answer you were looking for, but follow this IF she breaks up with you. Like I started this post with, a break is never a good sign. I've been there. My ex wanted a break for a week. After this week we were back together and everything felt GREAT again. 3 weeks later she dumps me out of the blue. Stay strong, my friend! 2
AllyStrass Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 It sounds like your relationship has been an emotional roller coaster for a while. That is hard to deal with! I am sorry you have felt so confused about what she is doing with regards to where she stands with you. It is good that you have gone to friends for support. It is wise to get others advice, especially people that have known you for a long time that you can trust. Based on how your relationship was and how she has been over the past weeks/months of the semi break up, where do YOU want things to go? In my protective opinion, I would probably agree with the other response, to prepare for the worse to guard your own heart, but also think about what you want? Do you feel this is the relationship you desire, if the opportunity presents itself? Relationships can be very confusing at times. It sounds like, though it can be hard, you do the right things to guard your heart at times (as you did before diving into this relationship from your prior relationship) and seek counsel from others. Good luck with everything! 1
Author Aizen Posted February 5, 2017 Author Posted February 5, 2017 Oohh Good God... you guys were right about everything, the break up came... I have been in my "cave" because i couldnt handle it. She told me she is not feeling us anymore, after asking me how i feel about her... and foolish as i am, i said "i love her". Well, since she isnt feeling us anymore, and our relationship is over , i have accepted it and guess what, she was surprised as hell of my reaction, that s funny! I still feel pain because i love her, but i rather heal through time. My friends are by my side trying to show me what life is about whether she is with me or not. I have been less productif at work recently, my collegues and boss point that out. I think in my best interest i will get my mind right and commit myself to work as usual while healing...
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 Sorry about the break up. Glad you have friends to get you through it
Jimmyjackson Posted February 5, 2017 Posted February 5, 2017 The second she told you she didn't trust you, you should've just said fine. You've told her your heart was set on her, if she doesn't want to believe it then tell her you're walking away. Guarantee she would've **** herself at the prospect of losing you.
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