Author mikebel111 Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 How is asking for a date coming on too strong? I don't like the FB friend request at all. That sends the message you want to be friends. You have just increased your likelihood of the friend zone by an order of magnitude. I am not experienced with this dating thing which you guys can probably tell! I meant as in just meeting her, and than asking to go out. I dont know it kind of gives her the message of "too eager". I will do what you guys suggest. Ask for a date during the end of the study session.
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2017 Posted January 29, 2017 Don't over think it. After the study session, simply say: This was fun. Wanna grab a coffee with me after class next week? She'll either say yes or no.
Author mikebel111 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Posted January 30, 2017 Don't over think it. After the study session, simply say: This was fun. Wanna grab a coffee with me after class next week? She'll either say yes or no. Thanks. Yeah something easy like that is fine. BTW. We are University students. I am 21 and I believe she is around the same age. In case my comments sound very youngish so thought I would let you guys know. My class on Tuesday so I will update how it goes.
Author mikebel111 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) Update Again more casual conversation. We laughed at each other's jokes a few times. We seem to connect very well, as she seems to like talking to me, and I like talking to her. We have arranged a study session on Tuesday about a couple hours before the exam. I brought it up in a middle of a conversation and said "with the midterm next week, do you want to maybe have a study session"? She replied with "yeah thats fine", she started thinking what would work in terms of her schedule, than said that on weekends it doesnt work for her, than said "you probably have classes on all weekdays (something along those lines), I told her I am off on this day, and this day. After more thinking she said "maybe Tuesday after(this time)" She than asked what time I get off work, and told her that I have a break from work. We agreed on Tuesday at the time we came up with. She said smiling, "we can quiz each other", I said jokingly "thats something I dont ever like to do", she smiled at that. We also got each others numbers. Never thought how easy it is to get someone's number! Well she typed her number on my phone, and told me to text her, so I did and now she has mine as well. We got past the school conversation, and into something different. The Prof was handing back quizzes, and she mentioned to me "I am so glad I dont have to read out names", I said "well its a good thing we arent being teachers" she laughed. I asked if she wanted my previous work for a class she is taking right now. She said yes. Asked if I have a class tomorrow, I said no. We set up Monday as when she can pick up the stuff. We agreed on the time before our separate classes start or something. Overall. Very happy day for me. We continued our normal chatter and was able to set up what I wanted too. However. With the study session being like a couple hours before the exam, it would be kind of hard to ask her to go with me for coffee or something. Some advice on that guys? Edited February 1, 2017 by mikebel111
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Study. Take the quiz. After class say "Glad that's over. Wanna go get a coffee to celebrate?" 1
WaitingForBardot Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) One final attempt... You are not working towards the results (you claim) you want. Even if you are to wind up friend-zoned, make her do it. Right now you are behaving like a friend and putting yourself there for her! To repeat myself... ...and further... Every day that goes by without asking her out (not confessing, asking her out), especially if you are with her, you descend deeper and deeper into the friend zone. It's not necessarily inevitable, maybe she really likes you as more than a friend, but you're not doing yourself any favors. Edited February 1, 2017 by WaitingForBardot
Author mikebel111 Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 One final attempt... You are not working towards the results (you claim) you want. Even if you are to wind up friend-zoned, make her do it. Right now you are behaving like a friend and putting yourself there for her! To repeat myself... It's not necessarily inevitable, maybe she really likes you as more than a friend, but you're not doing yourself any favors. I will be asking to go for coffee. What I need to decide do I ask on Monday, or Tuesday just before the exam. I am thinking Monday as its before an important exam, and we can set up some time in the later days. On Tuesday, its a bit of a more pressure question IMO.
WaitingForBardot Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 We have arranged a study session on Tuesday do you want to maybe have a study session"? We set up Monday as when she can pick up the stuff. I hope you see that none of these things indicate interest beyond that of being friends. When you like someone as more than friends, it is imperative that you show just that. Just as d0nnivain suggested, you need to ask her to do something unrelated to class. I'd take her suggestion even a bit further and say something like "I really enjoy talking with you. How about we grab a cup of coffee?" I know you were worried about being perceived as overeager, but the only reason someone would perceive this as overeager is because they were not interested (romantically) in the first place. 1
WaitingForBardot Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 I will be asking to go for coffee. What I need to decide do I ask on Monday, or Tuesday just before the exam. I am thinking Monday as its before an important exam, and we can set up some time in the later days. On Tuesday, its a bit of a more pressure question IMO. That's good! More important than the actual time, although sooner is better, is how the conversation is flowing at the time you ask; that has to be played by ear. It does sound like things are going well though, just nothing has really upped the ante beyond typical friends and classmates stuff at this point.
Author mikebel111 Posted February 2, 2017 Author Posted February 2, 2017 (edited) Update I didnt have class today but she did. I had no plan of any interaction until Monday, however my friend kind of messaged me into sending a text to her. I denied at first but he did influence me into texting her I guess. I was going to have text anxiety so I didnt want too. I texted her. How was everything and if she was in class(all though I knew she was in class). She texted back that she was in class still unfortunately, and asked if I had the night off. I said I dont have a class today but sadly dont have the night off from studying. I than said that my friend has the midterm from the previous term and I told her that could help us out. She than responded with 4 texts. Asked me if I have midterms next week too. she told she was still in class, as it was a super late one(she used the emoji That it would be awesome if I can send those to her, and asked if I had a scanner, to email her a copy. I responded with (Prof name) usually doesnt go past 9. Thats odd. Just hang in there! Yeah the questions get a little too repetitive. I have 2 next week. Yes I can email them to you. Dont worry about (said course)too much. His exams are extremely easy at least when I took the class. She responds with 4 more texts Yeah it was a late one! I just got home and am sooooo ready for bed. Her next text really stood out to me, as in I felt the most happy about that one. Thank you! I really appreciate you helping me out Hopefully I can do the same for you one day! She told me she will study for the course on the weekend, and hopes her exam will be easy too. Have a good night! I'm off to bed My response No worries at all. Thanks and take care! In conclusion: I am still a little surprised I was able to text her. I was very worried in the middle as she took some time between her 4 texts, though that was because she was in class and was taking notes/questions. The couple of times where she sent me 4 texts, those ones were extremely quick. Literally like maybe 30 seconds after each other. I am happy that I was able to text her as it kind of helped me get off a bit of a hurdle I guess, not to mention my small issue with text anxiety. I wont make any communication to her til Monday though. Edited February 2, 2017 by mikebel111
TheTraveler Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Update I didnt have class today but she did. I had no plan of any interaction until Monday, however my friend kind of messaged me into sending a text to her. I denied at first but he did influence me into texting her I guess. I was going to have text anxiety so I didnt want too. I texted her. How was everything and if she was in class(all though I knew she was in class). She texted back that she was in class still unfortunately, and asked if I had the night off. I said I dont have a class today but sadly dont have the night off from studying. I than said that my friend has the midterm from the previous term and I told her that could help us out. She than responded with 4 texts. Asked me if I have midterms next week too. she told she was still in class, as it was a super late one(she used the emoji That it would be awesome if I can send those to her, and asked if I had a scanner, to email her a copy. I responded with (Prof name) usually doesnt go past 9. Thats odd. Just hang in there! Yeah the questions get a little too repetitive. I have 2 next week. Yes I can email them to you. Dont worry about (said course)too much. His exams are extremely easy at least when I took the class. She responds with 4 more texts Yeah it was a late one! I just got home and am sooooo ready for bed. Her next text really stood out to me, as in I felt the most happy about that one. Thank you! I really appreciate you helping me out Hopefully I can do the same for you one day! She told me she will study for the course on the weekend, and hopes her exam will be easy too. Have a good night! I'm off to bed My response No worries at all. Thanks and take care! In conclusion: I am still a little surprised I was able to text her. I was very worried in the middle as she took some time between her 4 texts, though that was because she was in class and was taking notes/questions. The couple of times where she sent me 4 texts, those ones were extremely quick. Literally like maybe 30 seconds after each other. I am happy that I was able to text her as it kind of helped me get off a bit of a hurdle I guess, not to mention my small issue with text anxiety. I wont make any communication to her til Monday though. You're a good friend
Author mikebel111 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 Hey everyone! Delay in the update. Just give a overview. Not the weekend that passed, but the weekend before that, we had a couple alright texting convos, mainly asking for helping on the questions. Than last week monday, we arranged to meet so I can give her my midterm of the course that she is taking. Chatted for a few mins. Nothing out of the ordinary. Than the next day we planned on the study session, I wanted to follow your guys advice and ask her to maybe go for coffee with me or something, I tried to find a project room but they were full so we settled for the space that they have on the floors. That kind of ruined my plans as there were other people in that area as well. Than the study session increased to 3 others so I couldnt get ask her than. Keep in mind, this study session was like 2 hours before the exam. After the exam, coincidently we finished at the same time, me and her were walking back and she was kind of complaining about the exam a little. She told me she would stay here for sometime as she wanted to study. I said I am waiting for a friend so I will be here as well. I Later realized that my friend had already left, I told her that and I said "I can just keep you company". She smiled at that. I could have asked her for the coffee hangout than, but after taking the exam and with her reaction about the exam, it didnt feel like the right time to ask We chatted for about 15-20 min. One of the convos was about where we lived. Than a few mins later, I left and we said our usual "have a good night". I said that I would text her the next day and see how her exam went(she had an exam the next night). So I did and it was pretty normal. Now for today's class, well technically yesterday, Remember reading break starts next week so I had to ask her now. I planned on asking for coffee. We got out of the elevator, and well my plan was say this "do you have plans for the reading week?" Instead I completely messed up my words/forgot and said this "are you free during the reading week?" Her response was this "no my sister is visiting from Toronto, and will be spending the entire week". I dont remember if she said no though. I responded "oh, wow, awesome!" Than she asked me if I have any more midterms, I said "on the 4th", she responded "the 4th, oh the 4th" than our goodbye message, she said "see you next week"(all though I wont because its a reading break), i responded "yeah, have a good night", she responds and that was the end of that. What do you guys suggest? I wont see her for a couple of weeks now. I dont think texting to hangout is the proper thing to do.
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 The more you drag this out, the deeper into the friendzone you go. Send a pithy text during the reading week saying something about hoping she's enjoying time with her sister & inviting her to reach out to you when you both go back to school. Do nothing until school resumes. Then put on your big boy pants and ask already. If you don't, next you will be on here complaining that the semester is over, summer break is coming & you never managed to make a move. You are not guaranteed to have interactions with her next semester.
Hopeful30 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I haven't caught up on all other posts so I apologize kg I'm repeating anything, but dude, it's been days, relax. Get to know her a bit before spilling your heart out. Let her get comfortable around you first. You wouldn't awant someone you don't know to profess their love and ask you out right away.
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I haven't caught up on all other posts so I apologize kg I'm repeating anything, but dude, it's been days, relax. Get to know her a bit before spilling your heart out. Let her get comfortable around you first. You wouldn't awant someone you don't know to profess their love and ask you out right away. Profess their love -- no. Of course that is a bad idea. But this is college. This girl sees him in class multiple times per week. They have spoken & studied together. This has been dragging out for weeks & they are at midterms already. How long is he supposed to bid his time? If he doesn't step up soon this girl will have already friend zoned him. I actually fear it's already happened so I respectfully disagree with your advice to wait.
Author mikebel111 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Posted February 19, 2017 Updates This was literally few minutes ago that I found out. I had a feeling that she had a boyfriend. On facebook, She posted that her boyfriend proposed to her and will get married soon. So that's the end of that I guess. I am heartbroken but I shouldn't be since we never were really together. I am sad but thats the story of my life. Getting heartbroken. I will congratulate her when I see her in class in just over a week. I guess friends for life I guess:laugh: Thanks for all your help anyways though. You guys got me a little confident and this may have been the most furthest I got towards any girl in this aspect. Thanks so much guys. I will use this advice towards the next girl I start liking I guess. I will check in again if I need other kinds of help:)
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Sorry about that. Small silver lining: hopefully you get a good grade in the class. Secondly you now have a plan of sorts next time a girl catches your eye. I do suggest you pay a but more attention to social media. If the BF was serious enough to have become the FI you should have seen his presence on her FB page before the engagement announcement.
goldway90 Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Even if she didn't have a boyfriend, you were so deep in the friendzone there was no way to leave that place. Next time if you're interested in someone, make your intentions clear from the beginning. Rejection is fine. Sorry this one didn't work out for you, i hope you learned something from the whole thing. Good luck man.
Jj66 Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 What you are feeling now hurts much worse than a girl saying no to going on a date with you. You could have saved yourself a lot of heartache by asking her out as soon as you had some good rapport with her. Remember that next time. And good luck to you, man.
Author mikebel111 Posted March 4, 2017 Author Posted March 4, 2017 What you are feeling now hurts much worse than a girl saying no to going on a date with you. You could have saved yourself a lot of heartache by asking her out as soon as you had some good rapport with her. Remember that next time. And good luck to you, man. Even if she didn't have a boyfriend, you were so deep in the friendzone there was no way to leave that place. Next time if you're interested in someone, make your intentions clear from the beginning. Rejection is fine. Sorry this one didn't work out for you, i hope you learned something from the whole thing. Good luck man. Sorry about that. Small silver lining: hopefully you get a good grade in the class. Secondly you now have a plan of sorts next time a girl catches your eye. I do suggest you pay a but more attention to social media. If the BF was serious enough to have become the FI you should have seen his presence on her FB page before the engagement announcement. Thought I would respond to this. Thanks for the support guys. Really appreciated. Small update, I texted her congrats and no response. I also sent a text to let her know that there are a couple things about the class that she may find helpful but no response to that either. She also didnt show up for last class which I found odd. Not that I care now as I have basically moved on. To answer the last post, I was paying attention to facebook as her profile picture had her sitting with some guy which is the person that proposed to her. I mentioned the facebook part in my first post but maybe it was missed or it wasnt clear.Thanks again for help guys. I will be checking in again soon about other advice I may need. In fact I have one I think but not important enough to say right now!
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